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PostPosted: Sun Jan 4, '15, 8:02 pm 
104. ) Wutai Rule
Most RPGs, no matter what their mythology, include a land based on ancient Japan. Full of pagodas, shrines, shoguns, kitsune, and sushi, this completely anachronistic place is the source of the entire world's supply of ninja and samurai characters.


Eblan probably used to be this before it got blowed up.

105. ) Law of Mooks
Soldiers and guards working for the Evil Empire are, as a rule, sloppy, cowardly and incompetent. Members of the heroic Resistance Faction are, as a rule, dreadfully weak and undertrained and will be wiped out to the last man the moment they come in contact with the enemy.


Allied and enemy soldiers alike are no great shakes.

106. ) Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.


No exceptions.

107. ) Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.


Not this time.

108. ) You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.


No tourneys this time.

109. ) Invisible Bureaucracy Rule
Other than the royal family, its shifty advisor, and the odd mad scientist, the only government employees you will ever encounter in the course of your adventure are either guards or kitchen staff.


Yep.

110. ) The Miracle of Automation
Similarily, any factory, power plant, or other facility that you visit during the course of the game will be devoid of any human life except for the occasional guards. There will not be a single line worker or maintenance person in sight.


Lots of machines, but no factories.

111. ) Principle of Archaeological Convenience
Every ancient machine you find will work perfectly the first time you try to use it and every time thereafter. Even if its city got blasted into ruins and the machine was then sunk to the bottom of the sea and buried in mud for ten thousand years, it'll still work fine. The unfortunate corollary to this rule is that ancient guardian creatures will also turn out to be working perfectly when you try to filch their stuff.


The Great Whale must have some killer waterproofing.

112. ) They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
Modern-day machinery, by contrast, will always break down at the worst possible moment (for example, when you only need one more shot from the giant cannon to defeat the final boss.)


Doesn't apply to this Cid.

113. ) Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.


Not even.

114. ) Make Room! Make Room!
There are always more people in a town or village than there are houses for them to live in. Most of the village is made up of shops, temples, bars, secret passages, inns, and the mansion that belongs to the richest man in town.


Oh, so much yes.

115. ) Law of Scientific Gratification
If the hero needs a new invention to progress, he will find out that somewhere in the world someone has spent his or her entire life perfecting this invention, and usually just needs one more key item located in a monster-infested dungeon before it is completed.


yep, and not even just Cid, either.

116. ) You Always Travel In The Right Circles
Whenever you meet a villager or other such incidental character who promises to give you some great piece of needed knowledge or a required object in exchange for a seemingly simple item, such as a bar of soap or a nice straw mat, be prepared to spend at least an hour chasing around the world exchanging useless innocuous item after item with bizarre strangers until you can get that elusive first item you were asked for.


Yep. The Rat Tail makes its triumphant return.

117. ) Talk Is Cheap Rule
Nothing is ever solved by diplomacy or politics in the world of RPGs. Any declarations of peace, summits and treaty negotiations are traps to fool the ever so gullible Good Guys into thinking the war is over, or to brainwash the remaining leaders of the world.


Not this time. Golbez isn't so subtle.

118. ) Stop Your Life (Setzer Rule)
No matter what kind of exciting, dynamic life a character was leading before joining your party, once there they will be perfectly content to sit and wait on the airship until you choose to use them.


Amazingly, not this time.

119. ) Don't Stand Out
Any townsperson who is dressed oddly or otherwise doesn't fit in with the rest of the townsfolk will either:
Join your party after you complete some task,
Be in the employ of your enemy, or
Befriend any female member of the party, and then be immediately captured and held hostage by the villains.


Got it in one.

120. ) Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.


No dreams, oddly enough.

121. ) Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.


Yep. The rule gets its name from this game, so it had better be true!

122. ) Missing Master Hypothesis
Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some old master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.


You must be thinking of a different game.

123. ) Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule)
If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.


See above.

124. ) Gojira Axiom
Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
Low intelligence
Enormous strength
Projectile attacks
Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
Ecologically sensitive


None of those in this game, either.

125. ) "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.


No such scene this time.

126. ) Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)
If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.


Kain is ludicrously strong when you fight him as a boss.

126. ) All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.


Despite the fact that Kain doesn't so much have a moral compass as a moral propeller, he's welcomed back each time.

127. ) First Law of Fashion
All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.


Yep. There is only one costume change in the whole game.


128. ) Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.


Yep. I guess Rydia thought that was just the greatest outfit to go delving in.

129. ) Third Law of Fashion
In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat.


No futurisms here!

130. ) First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom)
Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum just in time for the coup.


Nope. The king of Baron may have even been replaced before the game even starts.

131. ) Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom)
If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.


Not this time.

132. ) Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.


So much nope. the most destructive and aggressive country in the game is a kingdom.

134. ) Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.


Not here.

135. ) Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.


Not in this Final Fantasy.

136. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.


Nope. Barbariccia exists to wreck you.

137. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.


Not this time.

138. ) Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.


Not this time.

139. ) The Ominous Ring of Land
The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed.


None of these, either.

140. ) Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.


Not this time.

141. ) Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.


Guards are everywhere except in the crystal rooms.

142. ) Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.


Not this time.

143. ) Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.


Falling damage may not have been invented yet. Yep.

144. ) Materials Science 101
Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.


Yep. Silver is the bee's knees for that stuff.

145. ) Materials Science 201
Everyone you meet will talk enthusiastically about how some fantastically rare metal (iron, say) would make the best possible armor and weapons. Oh, if only you could get your hands on some! However, once you actually obtain iron -- at great personal risk, of course -- everyone will dismiss it as yesterday's news and instead start talking about some even more fantastically rare metal, such as gold. Repeat until you get to the metal after "mythril" (see The Ultimate Rule.)


Yep, silver is awesome, but what you really need is some adamant.

146. ) Seventh Inning Stretch (Elc Rule)
At some point in the game the main hero will receive a deadly story-driven injury and will be put in a hospital instead of having a mage heal him. This will leave him out of commission for at least the length of two sidequests; the female lead will also be temporarily out of commission as she steadfastly refuses to leave the hero's side. Ultimately a simple vision quest is all that will be required to bring the hero back to normal.


Nope. Cecil is never out of the game.

147. ) Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.


Yep. By the end of the game, your casters will be using at most three or four spells each.

148. ) Gender Equality, Part 1 (Feena Rule)
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.


Yep. Rosa is a zero-resistance capture.

149. ) Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
If any female character, in a burst of anger or enthusiasm, decides to go off and accomplish something on her own without the hero, she will fail miserably and again have to be rescued.


Nope!

150. ) Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)
All of the effort you put into maxing out the female lead's statistics and special abilities will turn out to be for naught when she spends the final confrontation with the villain dead, ensorcelled, or held hostage.


Thankfully, not this time.

151. ) Gender Equality Addendum (Rynn Rule)
In the unlikely event that the main character of the game is female, she will not be involved in any romantic subplot whatsoever beyond getting hit on by shopkeepers.


Cecil is the main character throughout.

152. ) Stealing The Spotlight (Edea Rule)
The characters who join your party only briefly tend to be much cooler than your regular party members.


Yep. While not super-great, FuSoYa is pretty neat.

153. ) "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."


Yep. It's better for your sanity.

154. ) Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.


Not this time!

155. ) Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.


Yep. It took the rest of the ancient Lunarian race to imprison Zemus, but he gets wreched by your party of five.

156. ) Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.


Golbez does get forgiven by the end, though he wasn't acting willingly.

157. ) Doomed Utopia Theorem (Law of Zeal)
All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.


Nope.

158. ) Party Guidance Rule
Somewhere in the last third of the story, the hero will make a stupid decision and the rest of the party must remind him of all that they have learned from being with him in order to return the hero to normal.


Not this time.

159. ) Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...


Rydia and her monster friends are this on their own.

160. ) Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...


Baigan doesn't wait even five seconds.

161. ) General Leo's Exception
Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...


Ha, none of these exist.

162. ) The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
No matter how tough one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him.


Golbez, after he turns to your side.

163. ) All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.


Zemus has awakened, but don't worry, you've got all the time in the world before FuSoYa and Golbez try to beat him.

164.) Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.


Not this time.

165. ) Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, ardous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.


Yep. Aside from the immediate aftermath, no one really mentions Cecil's paladin status after the fact.

166. ) Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permamently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...


Nope. the game will stop you from discarding key items.

167. ) The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.


Not this time.

168. ) Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.


Not this time around- Kain is just a wildcard.

169. ) Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.


Amnesias will be defeated.

170. ) Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.


Nope. Zemus is nobody's dad.

171. ) World of Mild Inconvenience
The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other large-scale disaster that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that a few party members may become lost and you can find them later.


The shipwreck kills zero party members.

172. ) Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.


Nope.

173. ) Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.


Not even.

174. ) Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.


Yep. The Hummingway shop is the only place you can buy Elixirs.

175. ) Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.


Indeed!

176. ) "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
If the villain needs all ten legendary medallions to attain world domination and you have nine of them, everybody in your party still thinks it is neccessary to bring the nine to the villain's castle and get the final one, instead of hiding the ones they've already got and spoiling his plans that way. After you foolishly bring the legendary medallions to the villain's hideout, he will kidnap one of your companions (usually the main love interest) and you will trade the world away to rescue your friend.


No matter who gets the crystal,, they all end up in Golbez's hands sooner or later.

177. ) Dark Helmet's Corollary
After you give up the medallions to save your friend/parent/lover/other miscellaneous party member, don't expect to actually get that person back. Sucker!


Well, how else was it gonna be done!

178. ) It's Not My Department, Says Wernher Von Braun
All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or crash violently to earth before the end of the game.


Yep. the Tower of Zot crashes as soon as you finish with it.

179. ) The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.


Absolutely.

180. ) Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.


Yep. By the time you're done, there are only two major cities left (on the overworld, at least).

181. ) Poetic Villain Principle (Kefka Rule)
All villains will suddenly become poets, philisophers, and/or dramatic actors when a) they first meet the hero, b) they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready, c) some major event in the game is about to begin, d) right before the final battle, and e) right before they die, when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it.


Only after you beat Zeromus.

182. ) Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.


wait spaceship moon people zemus what

183. ) Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Not even the Hummingways, and they live on the same rock as the main villain.

184. ) Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.


Not this time.

185. ) The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.


Yep. Golbez is on your side, and Zemus is toast.

186. ) Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.


Oh, very much so.

187. ) "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.


The humanoid form is so easy that other characters do it for you.

188. ) In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.


Not this time.

189. ) The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.


Zemus ain't pretty.

190. ) Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.


Yes, as of the GBA version.

191. ) The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.


Not this time.

192. ) Know Your Audience (Vyse Rule)
Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.

Nope! Only Rosa.

-------------------------------------------
It's the final countdown:

Yep: 109
Nope: 83.

Well, unsurprisingly, it's a Final Fantasy game which is the first to break three digits on the cliché-o-meter. Not surprising, considering that it's one of the early RPGs that people actually knew about and also that it's a Final Fantasy game, which set a lot of the standards in the first place. The usual caveats to the list apply, but here the numbers just plain add up pretty high.


Top
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, '15, 6:40 pm 
Parma Ham wrote:Whoops, forgot to jump on in here and thank you for doing FF4. :oops:

Thanks for doing FF4! :D As you said in the conclusion, it just feels right that it should hit the triple digits. I think I would've cried if it hadn't. :lol:


Heh, it was no problem at all. As I said, I'm doing RPGs that I'm intimately familiar with, and FFIV did happen to be one o' those.


Top
PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, '15, 6:53 pm 
Speaking of which, it's time for the promised look at the strategy/action RPG, Kessen 3! All of you are quite familiar with how Nobunaga is portrayed in video games and such, usually as the king of all demons who is worse than any other person or demon that has ever been in history ever. So, with such a long tradition of that, Koei was like "nuts to that" and went on to create Kessen 3, which was basically an extended joke at Capcom's expense for the Onimusha series.

1. ) Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.


Nobunaga burns too brightly with the spirit of peace and justice to need a wakeup bell.

2. ) "No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.


While it does begin with a peaceful village being burned down, it's not Nobunaga's hometown.

3. )Thinking With The Wrong Head (Hiro Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.


You got it. Nobunaga begins the game by saving an unknown girl, and accepts Yoshino into his entourage even though she is feared and hated for her mysterious powers.

4. ) Cubic Zirconium Corollary
The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.


None of this nonsense, though.

5. ) Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.


Nope. Nobunaga starts as a teenager, but ends the game in his late forties.

6. ) Single Parent Rule
RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.


Yep. Nobunaga's father dies fairly early, leaving only his mother around.

7. ) Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.


Everybody's on a first-name basis here, too. If Nobunaga cares to use it instead of a nickname.

8. ) Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a possessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.

This rule does hold on. If you show up as "Saito Lieutenant" or whatever, your life expectancy is seconds.

9. ) The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.


Not this time.

10. ) Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)


Nope. Nobunaga is all about securing the tech edge however he can.

11. ) Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.


Not this time. This takes place prior to Kessen I.

12. ) Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.


Yep. The Oda clan is actually in fairly dire straits at the beginning- Nobunaga has to defeat uprisings by his brothers and his father's retainers in order to gain control over what he was supposed to have in the first place.

13. ) The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.


Nope. Hair is pretty normal around here.

14. ) Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.


Nope. Only battlefield plunder for you.

15. ) Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.)
The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.


We hit way too many.

Spunky Princess: Kicho. Not rebellious against her father, but she does side with Nobunaga against her family, the Saito Clan.

Gothy Swordsman: Akechi Mitsuhide.

Hero's best friend: Tokugawa Ieyasu. He is insanely strong when he allies with you.

Soft-spoken mage: Yoshino.

Big Tough angry softy: Koroku Hachisuka.

Swordswoman not in love with hero: Amalia Van Kyre.

16. ) Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.


We manage to hit enough.

Prettyboy: Akechi Mitsuhide.

Irritatingly honorable: Nagamasa Azai.

Jester: Hisahide Matsunaga. Tons of taunts, tough to pin down.

Right-hand man: Yoshiaki Ashikaga. While technically in command of the Anti-Nobunaga coalition, it's pretty obvious who's really in charge.

Scientist: Sandayu Momochi. Feudal Japanese teleport maze away.

17. ) Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.


Not this time.

18. ) Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.


Nobunaga will not be told to be quiet.

19. ) "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.


Half and half. The best commander weapons in the game are all swords. However, sword units are very middle of the road, while guns can be very powerful but difficult to use properly.

20. ) Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their possessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.


Yep. Peasants are just used to armies tramping around, but they do tend to just outright give you things.

21. ) Aeris's Corollary
Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.


A naginata is just a staff with a blade at the end, right?

22. ) MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?


Yoshino uses a Shinto ritual staff.

23. ) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.


Nope. Nobunaga's brothers are very minor opponents and quickly defeated.

24. ) Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.


Nope. There is buyback, I believe.

25. ) Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.


You don't really get to go inside buildings.

26. ) Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.


Yep. Yoshimoto Imagawa's "massive" army at Okehazama is small potatoes compared to even some of the things you fight in minor battles against bandits later on.

27. ) Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.


Nobunaga's dream about getting shot at Honnoji temple does come true.

28. ) IDKFA
The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.


Yep. The game just assumes that you have enough everything on hand.

29. ) Indestructible Weapon Rule
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.


Once again true.

30. ) Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.


Well, yeah.

31. ) Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.


There are no specific inns, but some good bedrest is all Nobunaga needs to recover from bullets.

32. ) You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.


You will be fighting Tatsuoki Saito many, many times.

33. ) And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)


Nope. They do actually try to kill Nobunaga when they can, it just doesn't stick.

34. ) Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.


Not this time. The fastest travel is horse.

35. ) Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.


Nope. Defeating the other lords tends to keep them from accomplishing much.

36. ) Clockwork Universe Rule
No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.


Nobunaga will be ambushed at Honnoji temple, full stop.

37. ) Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.


Nope, if for no other reason than this is a one-disc game.

38. ) You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate how tough he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.


Not this time, either. It' painfully obvious who the main villain will be if you're familiar with history.

39. ) "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.


Yes, but Nobunaga's only goal from the start is to crush the squabbling feudal lords and unite the land.

40. ) Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.


Not this time.

41. ) George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.


Nope. The whole game takes place in one country.

42. ) Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.


Not here.


43. ) Midgar Principle
The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.


Not here, either.

44. ) Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.


Nope, and one of Nobunaga's opponents gets punished hard for assuming this is how things work.

45. ) Law of Cartographical Elegance
The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.


Nope, thanks to history.

46. ) ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.


There are a number of commanders you can only acquire through defeating them in the field or in duels, but storywise the big one is Katsuie Shibata.

47. ) We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.


Nope, because the government has broken down, anyways.

48. ) Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.


Not really.

49. ) Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)


This exists, but in this case you're on the other side of the trope- plenty of others brag that Nobunaga could never defeat them, but Nobunaga always finds a way.

50. ) Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.


Not this time.

51. ) Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.


Not this time.

52. ) Insomnia Rule
A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.


Yep. The event is aimed at someone else, but Nobunaga and friends just happen to get caught up in it.

53. ) The Bling-Bling Thing (Lemina Rule)
No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the greedy member of your party will never be satisfied and won't stop griping about the sorry state of the party's finances.


Not this time. One of the things the game carries over from history is how much better at commerce Nobunaga was than almost all of his rivals.

54. ) I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.


Not explicitly, bu the transforming Honnoji battle temple is this in spirit.

55. ) Houdini's Postulate
Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they're so cool. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.


No one who's behind bars stays there for very long.

56. ) Zeigfried's Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.


Oooh, yeah.

57. ) Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.


You get access to one general marketplace, but that's it.

58. ) But They Don't Take American Express
Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.


Yep. All shops take gold, but then, it's all the same country.

59. ) Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.


Not really. Mitsuhide had his own dream of peace and justice for the land, but it involved destroying the feudal system altogether, and so Nobunaga was in the way.

60. ) The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.


Yep. A and B, but not really C.

61. ) Henchman Quota (Nana, Saki, and Mio Rule)
One of your antagonists will have three lovably incompetent stooges whom you fight over and over again. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, argue incessantly among themselves, blab secret information, and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a diversion or a delaying tactic. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to convince the stooges you're all on the same side. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.


Yep. While not in the specifics, the Miyoshi Triumvirate is this in spirit.

62. ) Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.


No ancient evils around these parts.

63. ) Principle of Narrative Efficiency
If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.


Not this time.

64. ) Ayn Rand's Revenge
Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.


Yep. The land is infested with bandits and minor rebel groups, but the central government has rather explicitly broken down.

65. ) First Law of Travel
Anything can become a vehicle -- castles, cities, military academies, you name it -- so do not be alarmed when the stones of the ancient fortress you are visiting shake underfoot and the whole thing lifts off into the sky. As a corollary, anything is capable of flight if it would be cool, aeronautics or even basic physics be damned.


Not this time.

66. ) Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.


Nobunaga is the only lord who uses the O-Adakebune, so close enough.

67. ) Third Law of Travel
The only way to travel by land between different areas of a continent will always be through a single narrow pass in a range of otherwise impenetrable mountains. Usually a palace or monastery will have been constructed in the pass, entirely filling it, so that all intracontinental traffic is apparently required to abandon their vehicles and go on foot up stairs and through the barracks, library and throne room to get to the other side. This may explain why most people just stay home. (In some cases a cave or underground tunnel may be substituted for the palace or monastery, but it will still be just as inconvenient with the added bonuses of cave-ins and nonsensical elevator puzzles.)


Travel is kinda glossed over, so no.

68. ) Fourth Law of Travel
Three out of every four vehicles you ride on will eventually sink, derail or crash in some spectacular manner.


Not even.

69. ) Fifth Law of Travel
All vehicles can be driven or piloted by anyone. The main character just needs to find out where the bridge or steering wheel is, as he already knows all of the controls.


Nope. Nobunaga leaves boating to the experts.

70. ) Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.


Yep. Like in history, the Mori clan's impressive navy gets completely destroyed at Kizugawaguchi when Nobunaga builds and deploys the O-Adakebune warships.

71. ) Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.


Nope, 'cause you never leave Japan.

72. ) Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.


Not really, no.

73. ) Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.


Not this game.

74. ) If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)


Nah, you're just fighting other people this time.

75. ) Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.


Nope.

76. ) Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unnecessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.


Not this time. Debuffs and ailments, especially Silence, are very useful.

77. ) Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.


Yep. All officer skills except 1 have a 100% success rate.

78. ) Pretty Line Syndrome (or, Crash Bandicoot: The RPG)
Seen in most modern RPGs. The key to completing your quest is to walk forward in a straight line for fifty hours, stopping along the way to look at, kill, and/or have meaningful conversations with various pretty things.


Yeah, things are very linear here.

78. ) Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.


Nope. Again, you just fight folks.

79. ) Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies.


Not as devastating, but friendly fire is a possibility and inevitable.

80. ) Dungeon Design 101
There's always goodies hidden behind the waterfall.


There's plenty of secrets stuff to find on any battlefield.

81. ) Dungeon Design 102
When you are confronted by two doors, the closer one will be locked and its key will be hidden behind the farther-away one.


Nope. Nobunaga's army can just smash gates, anyways.

82. ) Dungeon Design 103 (or, Wallpaper Warning)
Your progress through a dungeon will be indicated by a sudden change in decor: different wall color, different torches on the wall, et cetera.


Not this time.

83. ) Dungeon Design 201 (or, The Interior Decorators Anticipated Your Out-Of-Body Experience)
Most dungeons will include "hidden" passages which are nearly impossible to see from a bird's-eye view, yet would be blaringly obvious from the party's perspective.


There are certain passages that don't show up on the map and must be discovered first.

84. ) Dungeon Design 301
All "puzzles" in RPG dungeons can be sorted into one of the following types:
finding some small item and sticking it into a slot;
pushing blocks (rocks, statues) onto switches;
pulling switches or levers to open and close doors;
learning the correct order/position of a group of objects;
entering a certain combination of doors;
something involving a clock or elevator;
something that is unsolvable because a vital clue in the dialogue was mistranslated out of Japanese.


Nope.

85. ) Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.


Yep. This does happen in spirit when you defeat Hisahide Matsunaga, Nagamasa Azai, and Toshimitsu Saito for the last times, as the castles they were defending either blow up or burn down.

86. ) Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.


This is pretty much the S-Rank rewards.

87. ) Edison's Lament
No switch is ever in the right position.


Never.

88. ) Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.


Gods tend to stay out of this. Usually.

89. ) Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.


Yep. The average Kyoto townsman is very well-informed.

90. ) Wherever You Go, There They Are
Wherever the characters go, the villains can always find them. Chances are they're asking the guy in the street (see above). But don't worry -- despite being able to find the characters with ease anytime they want to, the bad guys never get rid of them by simply blowing up the tent or hotel they're spending the night in. (Just think of it: the screen dims, the peaceful going-to-sleep-now music plays, then BOOM! Game Over!)


Well, yeah, Nobunaga is a very conspicuous character along with his allies. And they do try to assassinate him with ninjas at night, it just doesn't work out.

91. ) Figurehead Rule
Whenever someone asks you a question to decide what to do, it's just to be polite. He or she will ask the question again and again until you answer "correctly."


No one gets to pull a but thou must on Nobunaga.

92. ) Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.


Nope. If only because peasants who talk to you on a battlefield tend to skedaddle afterwards, because they don't want to be killed.

93. ) Franklin Covey Was Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
Sticking to the task at hand and going directly from place to place and goal to goal is always a bad idea, and may even prevent you from being able to finish the game. It's by dawdling around, completing side quests and giving money to derelicts that you come into your real power.


Yep. It's probably a good idea to do all of the minor skirmishes before deciding the fate of the land.

94. ) Selective Invulnerability Principle
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!


Nope. Nobunaga and co. won't even walk into that stuff.

95. ) I'm the NRA (Billy Lee Black Rule)
Opposition to gun control is probably the only thing you could get all RPG characters to agree upon. Even deep religious faith and heartfelt pacifism can't compete with the allure of guns.


Like in history, Nobunaga loves guns. Can't get enough.

96. ) Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.


Yep. While there are a number of female commanders you can get, there are only three that heavily feature as story characters- Kicho, Yoshino, and Amalia Van Kyre.

97. ) Experience Not Required
When the main character is forced to do some complex or dangerous task for the first time, even though he has never done it before he will still always be better than the oldest veteran.


Kinda. Nobunaga totally stomps the Imagawa troops in his very first battle..

98. ) Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.


Nope!

99. ) Science-Magic Equivalence (Citan Rule)
Although mages' specialty is magic and scientists' specialty is technology, these skills are completely interchangeable.


Not here, sorry.

100. ) Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.


Hideyoshi claims he can be a great help to Nobunaga. He's not wrong.

101. ) Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.


Nope. Nobunaga doesn't need to be told what to do.

102. ) Near-Death Epiphany (Fei Rule)
If the party is not dealing damage to a boss character, then there's a better-than-even chance that someone in the party will suddenly become enlightened and instantly acquire the offensive skill that can blow the creature away in a matter of seconds.


Not this time.


Last edited by R-90-2 on Sat Jan 17, '15, 6:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, '15, 7:44 pm 
104. ) Wutai Rule
Most RPGs, no matter what their mythology, include a land based on ancient Japan. Full of pagodas, shrines, shoguns, kitsune, and sushi, this completely anachronistic place is the source of the entire world's supply of ninja and samurai characters.


Yes, considering this place is actual Japan.

105. ) Law of Mooks
Soldiers and guards working for the Evil Empire are, as a rule, sloppy, cowardly and incompetent. Members of the heroic Resistance Faction are, as a rule, dreadfully weak and undertrained and will be wiped out to the last man the moment they come in contact with the enemy.


Yep. The Shogunate troops are demoralized and poorly led, and the various smaller rebel groups are the closest thing this game has to random encounters. Good thing Nobunaga isn't leading any of those, eh?

106. ) Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.


Yep. Good thing the Shogun isn't good at thinking his traps through.

107. ) Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.


Trees are for building castles and fences.

108. ) You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.


No tourneys here, either.

109. ) Invisible Bureaucracy Rule
Other than the royal family, its shifty advisor, and the odd mad scientist, the only government employees you will ever encounter in the course of your adventure are either guards or kitchen staff.


Well, yeah, but the central government has kinda collapsed.

110. ) The Miracle of Automation
Similarily, any factory, power plant, or other facility that you visit during the course of the game will be devoid of any human life except for the occasional guards. There will not be a single line worker or maintenance person in sight.


No factories.

111. ) Principle of Archaeological Convenience
Every ancient machine you find will work perfectly the first time you try to use it and every time thereafter. Even if its city got blasted into ruins and the machine was then sunk to the bottom of the sea and buried in mud for ten thousand years, it'll still work fine. The unfortunate corollary to this rule is that ancient guardian creatures will also turn out to be working perfectly when you try to filch their stuff.


No ancient machines.

112. ) They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
Modern-day machinery, by contrast, will always break down at the worst possible moment (for example, when you only need one more shot from the giant cannon to defeat the final boss.)


Nope. anything your guys build works as advertised.

113. ) Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.


None of these shenanigans.

114. ) Make Room! Make Room!
There are always more people in a town or village than there are houses for them to live in. Most of the village is made up of shops, temples, bars, secret passages, inns, and the mansion that belongs to the richest man in town.


Not this time.

115. ) Law of Scientific Gratification
If the hero needs a new invention to progress, he will find out that somewhere in the world someone has spent his or her entire life perfecting this invention, and usually just needs one more key item located in a monster-infested dungeon before it is completed.


Yep. Nobunaga's organization just happens to have the O-Adakebune ready when he needs to break a big naval blockade.

116. ) You Always Travel In The Right Circles
Whenever you meet a villager or other such incidental character who promises to give you some great piece of needed knowledge or a required object in exchange for a seemingly simple item, such as a bar of soap or a nice straw mat, be prepared to spend at least an hour chasing around the world exchanging useless innocuous item after item with bizarre strangers until you can get that elusive first item you were asked for.


Nope. Peasants know not to make demands on Lord Nobunaga.

117. ) Talk Is Cheap Rule
Nothing is ever solved by diplomacy or politics in the world of RPGs. Any declarations of peace, summits and treaty negotiations are traps to fool the ever so gullible Good Guys into thinking the war is over, or to brainwash the remaining leaders of the world.


Yep. Out of all of the alliances and partnerships that Nobunaga makes outside of his own circle of subordinates, the only one which is still standing at the end is his alliance with the Tokugawa clan.

118. ) Stop Your Life (Setzer Rule)
No matter what kind of exciting, dynamic life a character was leading before joining your party, once there they will be perfectly content to sit and wait on the airship until you choose to use them.


Yep. Musashi will give up being a wandering duelist to sit at Nobunaga's beck and call if you manage to recruit him.

119. ) Don't Stand Out
Any townsperson who is dressed oddly or otherwise doesn't fit in with the rest of the townsfolk will either:
Join your party after you complete some task,
Be in the employ of your enemy, or
Befriend any female member of the party, and then be immediately captured and held hostage by the villains.


Hideyoshi doesn't look like much, but...

120. ) Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.


Yep. Nobunaga dreams of the attempt on his own life, which, guess what, actually happens.

121. ) Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.


Yep. Nagamasa Azai's children are saved from the destruction of Odani castle.

122. ) Missing Master Hypothesis
Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some old master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.


Yep. You can recruit Ishikawa Goemon, and his master, Sandayu Momochi, is a recurring opponent throughout the game.

123. ) Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule)
If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.


Nope. Sandayu is very much around.

124. ) Gojira Axiom
Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
Low intelligence
Enormous strength
Projectile attacks
Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
Ecologically sensitive


None of those in this game.

125. ) "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.


Nope. Any scene like that involves characters which are already in love.

126. ) Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)
If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.


Nope.

127. ) All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.


Nope. Anyone who explicitly betrays you is in it for the long haul.

128. ) First Law of Fashion
All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.


Nope. Changing armor changes outfits.

129. ) Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.


Yep. Some of these equipments are still pretty ridiculous, though.

130. ) Third Law of Fashion
In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat.


No futurisms here!

131. ) First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom)
Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum just in time for the coup.


Yep, but from a different angle- Mitsuhide has been scheming to take Nobunaga's power away from him, but Kicho arrives at the last second to keep him from being fatally shot.

132. ) Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom)
If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.


Not this time.

133. ) Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.


Nope. The political situation in Kessen 3 is rather... Complex.

134. ) Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.


Not here.

135. ) Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.


Yep. Ranmaru Mori is very much his Yoshinari's son, down to the last skill point.

136. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.


Yep. You and only you. No one but Nobunaga uses female commanders- the only one you fight is a mercenary, and she joins right after you beat her.

137. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.


Not this time.

138. ) Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.


Not this time.

139. ) The Ominous Ring of Land
The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed.


Japan is not a ring.

140. ) Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.


Not this time. Enemy officers that join you might have marginally lower troop counts, but everything else is intact.

141. ) Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.


Yep. Tatsuoki Saito's castle is heavily defended everywhere except the most vulnerable spot.

142. ) Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.


Not this time.

143. ) Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.


Nope, because falling isn't really a thing.

144. ) Materials Science 101
Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.


No crafting.

145. ) Materials Science 201
Everyone you meet will talk enthusiastically about how some fantastically rare metal (iron, say) would make the best possible armor and weapons. Oh, if only you could get your hands on some! However, once you actually obtain iron -- at great personal risk, of course -- everyone will dismiss it as yesterday's news and instead start talking about some even more fantastically rare metal, such as gold. Repeat until you get to the metal after "mythril" (see The Ultimate Rule.)


See above.

146. ) Seventh Inning Stretch (Elc Rule)
At some point in the game the main hero will receive a deadly story-driven injury and will be put in a hospital instead of having a mage heal him. This will leave him out of commission for at least the length of two sidequests; the female lead will also be temporarily out of commission as she steadfastly refuses to leave the hero's side. Ultimately a simple vision quest is all that will be required to bring the hero back to normal.


Nope. Nobunaga is in it for the most consecutive battles fought record.

147. ) Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.


Nope. All skills increase in level as you use them, and all skills remain useful, you're just limited by how many you can realistically build up on each character.

148. ) Gender Equality, Part 1 (Feena Rule)
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.


Not this time. Kicho's brief capture requires a fair bit of violence.

149. ) Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
If any female character, in a burst of anger or enthusiasm, decides to go off and accomplish something on her own without the hero, she will fail miserably and again have to be rescued.


Nope!

150. ) Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)
All of the effort you put into maxing out the female lead's statistics and special abilities will turn out to be for naught when she spends the final confrontation with the villain dead, ensorcelled, or held hostage.


Nope. Kicho is absent for a bit, but does come back for the final set of battles.

151. ) Gender Equality Addendum (Rynn Rule)
In the unlikely event that the main character of the game is female, she will not be involved in any romantic subplot whatsoever beyond getting hit on by shopkeepers.


Lord Nobunaga is the main character.

152. ) Stealing The Spotlight (Edea Rule)
The characters who join your party only briefly tend to be much cooler than your regular party members.


There are a few battles where Tokugawa and his retainers will show up to lend a hand. There is only one time when this happens where the battle remains difficult.

153. ) "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."


No resurrection items or skills.

154. ) Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.


Not this time!

155. ) Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.


No ancient evils.

156. ) Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.


Yep. Mitsuhide gets forgiven for his betrayal at the end of his life.

157. ) Doomed Utopia Theorem (Law of Zeal)
All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.


Nope.

158. ) Party Guidance Rule
Somewhere in the last third of the story, the hero will make a stupid decision and the rest of the party must remind him of all that they have learned from being with him in order to return the hero to normal.


Not this time.

159. ) Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...


From the perspective of Japanese feudal tradition, yes, as his inner circle of trusted commanders includes women, a ronin, a mystic, a foreigner, a traitor, and worst of all, a commoner.

160. ) Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...


Yep. The shogun is more than happy to be Nobunaga's buddy when they first meet, but begins plotting against him almost immediately.

161. ) General Leo's Exception
Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...


Yep. Fujinaga Isshiki.

162. ) The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
No matter how tough one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him.


Yep. Fujinaga Isshiki tries to persuade the shogun not to ally with Mitsuhide again, but Mitsuhide kills him rather gruesomely near the end.

163. ) All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.


Yep. No matter how fiercely they were attacking in the cutscene, they'll always wait for you to prepare before actually meeting you in the field.

164.) Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.


Not this time around.

165. ) Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, ardous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.


Not here!

166. ) Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permamently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...


Not this time around, either.

167. ) The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.


See above.


168. ) Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.


Nobunaga is manipulated by no one. Mitsuhide was more of an opportunist than anything.

169. ) Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.


None of those about.

170. ) Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.


Not even.

171. ) World of Mild Inconvenience
The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other large-scale disaster that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that a few party members may become lost and you can find them later.


Yep. Regardless of how many casualties you inflict and how many losses you take, there will always be enough men around to fill the armies of you and your opponents during this time of constant war.

172. ) Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.


Nope.

173. ) Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.


Not even.

174. ) Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.


Yep. The merchants only sell you the best goods when you're ready to fight the final battles against Akechi Mitsuhide.

175. ) Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.


Yep. Or bashed down, but that's a kind of unlocking.

176. ) "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
If the villain needs all ten legendary medallions to attain world domination and you have nine of them, everybody in your party still thinks it is necessary to bring the nine to the villain's castle and get the final one, instead of hiding the ones they've already got and spoiling his plans that way. After you foolishly bring the legendary medallions to the villain's hideout, he will kidnap one of your companions (usually the main love interest) and you will trade the world away to rescue your friend.


Not this time.

177. ) Dark Helmet's Corollary
After you give up the medallions to save your friend/parent/lover/other miscellaneous party member, don't expect to actually get that person back. Sucker!


Not here, either.

178. ) It's Not My Department, Says Wernher Von Braun
All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or crash violently to earth before the end of the game.


None of these about.

179. ) The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.


Mitsuhide waited over a decade for his chance to kill Nobunaga, but he manages to void death and bounce back pretty quickly.

180. ) Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.


Yep. After about a hundred years of feudal warfare, Japan can't be in great shape.

181. ) Poetic Villain Principle (Kefka Rule)
All villains will suddenly become poets, philisophers, and/or dramatic actors when a) they first meet the hero, b) they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready, c) some major event in the game is about to begin, d) right before the final battle, and e) right before they die, when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it.


This is very much Mitsuhide.

182. ) Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.


Yep. So you're telling me that for the final battle, Mitsuhide has manage to ally the remaining Shogunate troops, all of the remaining feudal lords of Kyushu and Shikoku, the temperamental Date clan, and a contingient of the Spanish Army into a single, unified fighting force?!

183. ) Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Yep. Merchants gotta make a living.

184. ) Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.


There's always someone willing to sell to Nobunaga.

185. ) The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.


Yep. Mitsuhide does not live.

186. ) Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.


Nope. Side missions are segregated by chapter.

187. ) "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.


Not this time.

188. ) In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.


See above.

189. ) The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.


Yep. Crushing Mitsuhide does sort it all out.

190. ) Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.


In spirit, yes. There are couple of really difficult ahistorical super-battles against Takeda Shingen and Uesugi Kenshin, who are regarded as two of the greatest lords of the Sengoku era, and where you are allowed to fight them at the height of their power. Or you can just ignore them and they die suddenly on their own, like in history.

191. ) The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.


Not this time.

192. ) Know Your Audience (Vyse Rule)
Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.


Close enough.

-------------------

so, the final tally for Kessen 3 is:

Yep: 80.5

Nope: 111.5

Which is a pretty startling amount for a game that only barely resembles pretty much any other kind of RPG out there, which means that Kessen 3 managed to make up the difference mainly on characterization. Not bad, Koei!

Anyway, Parma, you may want to keep an eye on the next one- you said that the only Ys game you played was Ys III: Wandrers of Ys, so you may want to pay attention, as next I will be doing Falcom's much needed do-over of that game: Ys: The Oath in Felghana!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, '15, 9:08 pm 
Well Parma, since you said that you had played Ys III: Wanderers from Ys, I am now obligated to do the much-needed remake, Ys: The Oath in Felghana. Being this is a Falcom game, there's a certain amount of cliché to be expected, but just how much?

1. ) Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.


Adol does not need to be woken up for adventure.

2. ) "No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.


No town burn-downings. In the game's timeframe proper, anyways.

3. )Thinking With The Wrong Head (Adol Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.


This is an Ys game. this was going to happen.

4. ) Cubic Zirconium Corollary
The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.


None of this, nope.

5. ) Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.


Yep. Adol has been through a number of adventures and he's something like 19 in this one.

6. ) Single Parent Rule
RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.


Adol's parentage isn't even discussed.

7. ) Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.


This does apply- in fact, the two main villains go from first-name only to last-name only after they reveal their true colors.

8. ) Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a possessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.

Not really. All NPCs have names.

9. ) The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.


Only three of these really apply, so probably not.

10. ) Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)


Not so much now.

11. ) Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.


You got it- Adol has none of the anything that he finished Ys IV with.

12. ) Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.


Adol is as peasant as you can get.

13. ) The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.


Nope. Hairstyles remain rather within regular bounds.

14. ) Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.


Nope. Adol won't loot things from people's homes, only take what they willingly give.

15. ) Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.)
The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.


No party.

16. ) Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.


There just aren't enough speaking antagonists of the right sort to fill up the requirements.

17. ) Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.


Yeah, we hit enough.

18. ) Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.


Nope. Adol doesn't run into this, because, as before, the narrator fills it in.

19. ) "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.


Yep, on two counts. Chester uses swords (and even two at once the second time you fight him), and Garland, the prime mover of events, uses a sword so huge he has to use his magic to swing it.

20. ) Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their possessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.


Well, yeah. People are used to soldiers and warriors- it's a dangerous world out there!

21. ) Aeris's Corollary
Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.


Nope. Elena isn't a fighting-sort.

22. ) MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?


Nope. Adol's main weapon options are swords, swords, and swords.

23. ) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.


In spirit. Adol has no siblings, but of the Stoddart twins, Chester is the older one, male, and working with the antagonists, and Elena, the younger one, is female and ends up getting kidnapped.

24. ) Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.


Adol sells nothing.

25. ) Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.


In full force.

26. ) Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.


Nope. There's only one town in the immediate area, and all of the mercenaries in the area work for Lord McGuire anyway.

27. ) Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.


Hoo howdy yes.

28. ) IDKFA
The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.


Adol is bow and gun free.

29. ) Indestructible Weapon Rule
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.


Adol does not have to worry about sudden breakage.

30. ) Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.


Nope. Adol gets to be jumpman.

31. ) Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.


No inns or facilities with similar function.

32. ) You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.


Yep. Chester and Dularn will hound you for most of the game.

33. ) And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)


Yep. Garland roasts you and Chester, but leaves you both alive because he has more pressing things to do- and you're not really a threat at the moment.

34. ) Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.


Yep. Dularn and Garland can teleport, but don't grab the artifacts first because they don't actually need to stop you from finding them.

35. ) Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.


Nope. Garland finished what he needed to well before you actually fight him.

36. ) Clockwork Universe Rule
No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.


The dreaming Galbalan will awaken.

37. ) Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.


Nope, that's not how Ys rolls.

38. ) You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate how tough he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.


Not this time, either. Lord McGuire gets to live.

39. ) "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.


Yep, but Adol's primary objective is always save the world.

40. ) Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.


Yep. The four statues and the three magics.

41. ) George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.


Nope. The whole game takes place in a small part of Felghana.

42. ) Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.


Nope. You get one town. One.


43. ) Midgar Principle
The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.


Not here, either. Romn is very far away.

44. ) Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.


Nope, because the game takes place all in one small region.

45. ) Law of Cartographical Elegance
The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.


Nope. The map of the Ys world is not so neat and tidy.

46. ) ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.


Nope. Berhardt isn't such a warrior.

47. ) We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.


Nope. Romn needs its workers, anyways.

48. ) Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.


Not in this franchise.

49. ) Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)


Not a chance.

50. ) Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.


Not this time.

51. ) Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.


Not here.

52. ) Insomnia Rule
A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.


Not really. Inns really are free of shenanigans.

53. ) The Bling-Bling Thing (Lemina Rule)
No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the greedy member of your party will never be satisfied and won't stop griping about the sorry state of the party's finances.


Adol does not associate with the greedy.

54. ) I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.


Ziduros is close enough.

55. ) Houdini's Postulate
Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they're so cool. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.


Adol is not jailed.

56. ) Zeigfried's Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.


That fits.

57. ) Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.


Yeah, it works this time around.

58. ) But They Don't Take American Express
Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.


Yep. Despite being an entirely different part of the continent from the previous games, golds are still the standard.

59. ) Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.


Yep. Adol and Dogi are really the only ones who can solve things.

60. ) The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.


Again, A and B, but not really C.

61. ) Henchman Quota (Nana, Saki, and Mio Rule)
One of your antagonists will have three lovably incompetent stooges whom you fight over and over again. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, argue incessantly among themselves, blab secret information, and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a diversion or a delaying tactic. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to convince the stooges you're all on the same side. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.


Not really.

62. ) Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.


Nope. Galbalan is not on a fixed schedule, and even Adol isn't able to destroy Galbalan for good- Chester does make Galbalan pretty much impossible to reawaken, though.

63. ) Principle of Narrative Efficiency
If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.


Nope. Genos has long since left the world.

64. ) Ayn Rand's Revenge
Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.


Nope. There's a bit too much government, too be honest.

65. ) First Law of Travel
Anything can become a vehicle -- castles, cities, military academies, you name it -- so do not be alarmed when the stones of the ancient fortress you are visiting shake underfoot and the whole thing lifts off into the sky. As a corollary, anything is capable of flight if it would be cool, aeronautics or even basic physics be damned.


Not this time.

66. ) Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.


Yep. The boat that Adol arrived on is the only one around for when he has to go to Genos island.

67. ) Third Law of Travel
The only way to travel by land between different areas of a continent will always be through a single narrow pass in a range of otherwise impenetrable mountains. Usually a palace or monastery will have been constructed in the pass, entirely filling it, so that all intracontinental traffic is apparently required to abandon their vehicles and go on foot up stairs and through the barracks, library and throne room to get to the other side. This may explain why most people just stay home. (In some cases a cave or underground tunnel may be substituted for the palace or monastery, but it will still be just as inconvenient with the added bonuses of cave-ins and nonsensical elevator puzzles.)


Not here. Travel is not far-ranging.

68. ) Fourth Law of Travel
Three out of every four vehicles you ride on will eventually sink, derail or crash in some spectacular manner.


Not even.

69. ) Fifth Law of Travel
All vehicles can be driven or piloted by anyone. The main character just needs to find out where the bridge or steering wheel is, as he already knows all of the controls.


Nope. Adol has to rely on Dogi to helm the boat.

70. ) Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.


Not this time.

71. ) Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.


Nope, 'cause you never leave the continent.

72. ) Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.


Yep, No shortcuts at all.

73. ) Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.


Nope. The only character who has as little trouble getting around dungeons as Adol is Dogi, and that's because in his view, walls are for other people.

74. ) If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)


Your enemies are as varied as they are angry.

75. ) Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.


Nope.

76. ) Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unnecessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.


Not this time. Adol is all bout the raw damage.

77. ) Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.


The enemy does not get this benefit.

78. ) Pretty Line Syndrome (or, Crash Bandicoot: The RPG)
Seen in most modern RPGs. The key to completing your quest is to walk forward in a straight line for fifty hours, stopping along the way to look at, kill, and/or have meaningful conversations with various pretty things.


Ys games tend to be linear, yes.

78. ) Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.


Oh, yes.

79. ) Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies.


Nope. No possibility of friendly fire.

80. ) Dungeon Design 101
There's always goodies hidden behind the waterfall.


You are going to be doing a good bit of secret digging.

81. ) Dungeon Design 102
When you are confronted by two doors, the closer one will be locked and its key will be hidden behind the farther-away one.


Yep. In spirit, anyways.

82. ) Dungeon Design 103 (or, Wallpaper Warning)
Your progress through a dungeon will be indicated by a sudden change in decor: different wall color, different torches on the wall, et cetera.


A bit more dramatic, but yes.

83. ) Dungeon Design 201 (or, The Interior Decorators Anticipated Your Out-Of-Body Experience)
Most dungeons will include "hidden" passages which are nearly impossible to see from a bird's-eye view, yet would be blaringly obvious from the party's perspective.


Not in this game.

84. ) Dungeon Design 301
All "puzzles" in RPG dungeons can be sorted into one of the following types:
finding some small item and sticking it into a slot;
pushing blocks (rocks, statues) onto switches;
pulling switches or levers to open and close doors;
learning the correct order/position of a group of objects;
entering a certain combination of doors;
something involving a clock or elevator;
something that is unsolvable because a vital clue in the dialogue was mistranslated out of Japanese.


Yeah, that's how it all works.

85. ) Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.


Nope. No bosses cause their dungeon to collapse on death.

86. ) Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.


Nope. Bosses only ever leave behind plot items.

87. ) Edison's Lament
No switch is ever in the right position.


Never.

88. ) Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.


Nope. The god worshipped by the regular church at least stays out of thing, and Galbalan, what Garland worships isn't a god.

89. ) Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.


Nope. The only people who really know the details of what you've done are people Adol and Dogi have told about it.

90. ) Wherever You Go, There They Are
Wherever the characters go, the villains can always find them. Chances are they're asking the guy in the street (see above). But don't worry -- despite being able to find the characters with ease anytime they want to, the bad guys never get rid of them by simply blowing up the tent or hotel they're spending the night in. (Just think of it: the screen dims, the peaceful going-to-sleep-now music plays, then BOOM! Game Over!)


Yep. they can always find you, but Garland has other matters.

91. ) Figurehead Rule
Whenever someone asks you a question to decide what to do, it's just to be polite. He or she will ask the question again and again until you answer "correctly."


Yep. But thou must!

92. ) Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.


Nope. As with all post-2002 Falcom RPGs, NPCs have reams of dialogue.

93. ) Franklin Covey Was Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
Sticking to the task at hand and going directly from place to place and goal to goal is always a bad idea, and may even prevent you from being able to finish the game. It's by dawdling around, completing side quests and giving money to derelicts that you come into your real power.


Yep. There's a few really useful sidequests to do.

94. ) Selective Invulnerability Principle
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!


Nope. Adol has vulnerabilities he needs to address.

95. ) I'm the NRA (Billy Lee Black Rule)
Opposition to gun control is probably the only thing you could get all RPG characters to agree upon. Even deep religious faith and heartfelt pacifism can't compete with the allure of guns.


Nope. No guns here.

96. ) Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.


Nope. No party.

97. ) Experience Not Required
When the main character is forced to do some complex or dangerous task for the first time, even though he has never done it before he will still always be better than the oldest veteran.


Yep. Apparently Adol is a very good jewel-setter.

98. ) Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.


Yeah. It's the ancient Eldeen again.

99. ) Science-Magic Equivalence (Citan Rule)
Although mages' specialty is magic and scientists' specialty is technology, these skills are completely interchangeable.


Not here, sorry.

100. ) Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.


Yep.

101. ) Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.


Yeah. Adol is the only one who can do it.

102. ) Near-Death Epiphany (Fei Rule)
If the party is not dealing damage to a boss character, then there's a better-than-even chance that someone in the party will suddenly become enlightened and instantly acquire the offensive skill that can blow the creature away in a matter of seconds.


Nope. Adol works for a living.


Last edited by R-90-2 on Sun Feb 22, '15, 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, '15, 1:11 pm 
104. ) Wutai Rule
Most RPGs, no matter what their mythology, include a land based on ancient Japan. Full of pagodas, shrines, shoguns, kitsune, and sushi, this completely anachronistic place is the source of the entire world's supply of ninja and samurai characters.


No Japanland yet in the Ys world.

105. ) Law of Mooks
Soldiers and guards working for the Evil Empire are, as a rule, sloppy, cowardly and incompetent. Members of the heroic Resistance Faction are, as a rule, dreadfully weak and undertrained and will be wiped out to the last man the moment they come in contact with the enemy.


Nope. The Romun soldiers are actually fairly vigilant and not the easiest foes.

106. ) Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.


Sometimes you just need to spring a trap.

107. ) Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.


Not in this Ys.

108. ) You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.


No tournaments that we know of.

109. ) Invisible Bureaucracy Rule
Other than the royal family, its shifty advisor, and the odd mad scientist, the only government employees you will ever encounter in the course of your adventure are either guards or kitchen staff.


Pretty much. The McGuire household has a lack of bureaucrats.

110. ) The Miracle of Automation
Similarly, any factory, power plant, or other facility that you visit during the course of the game will be devoid of any human life except for the occasional guards. There will not be a single line worker or maintenance person in sight.


No factories or other similar facilities.

111. ) Principle of Archaeological Convenience
Every ancient machine you find will work perfectly the first time you try to use it and every time thereafter. Even if its city got blasted into ruins and the machine was then sunk to the bottom of the sea and buried in mud for ten thousand years, it'll still work fine. The unfortunate corollary to this rule is that ancient guardian creatures will also turn out to be working perfectly when you try to filch their stuff.


Yep. The Ilburns Ruins are still perfectly functional.

112. ) They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
Modern-day machinery, by contrast, will always break down at the worst possible moment (for example, when you only need one more shot from the giant cannon to defeat the final boss.)


Nope. Your guys aren't machinery-inclined.

113. ) Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.


None of these shenanigans.

114. ) Make Room! Make Room!
There are always more people in a town or village than there are houses for them to live in. Most of the village is made up of shops, temples, bars, secret passages, inns, and the mansion that belongs to the richest man in town.


Nope. There are enough houses for everyone in Redmont.

115. ) Law of Scientific Gratification
If the hero needs a new invention to progress, he will find out that somewhere in the world someone has spent his or her entire life perfecting this invention, and usually just needs one more key item located in a monster-infested dungeon before it is completed.


Yep. The blacksmith finds out he can make a super-shield just when you really need that kind of new armor.

116. ) You Always Travel In The Right Circles
Whenever you meet a villager or other such incidental character who promises to give you some great piece of needed knowledge or a required object in exchange for a seemingly simple item, such as a bar of soap or a nice straw mat, be prepared to spend at least an hour chasing around the world exchanging useless innocuous item after item with bizarre strangers until you can get that elusive first item you were asked for.


Not this time.

117. ) Talk Is Cheap Rule
Nothing is ever solved by diplomacy or politics in the world of RPGs. Any declarations of peace, summits and treaty negotiations are traps to fool the ever so gullible Good Guys into thinking the war is over, or to brainwash the remaining leaders of the world.


Nope. The Romuns aren't so subtle.

118. ) Stop Your Life (Setzer Rule)
No matter what kind of exciting, dynamic life a character was leading before joining your party, once there they will be perfectly content to sit and wait on the airship until you choose to use them.


Nope. No parties.

119. ) Don't Stand Out
Any townsperson who is dressed oddly or otherwise doesn't fit in with the rest of the townsfolk will either:
Join your party after you complete some task,
Be in the employ of your enemy, or
Befriend any female member of the party, and then be immediately captured and held hostage by the villains.


Not really. All townies have unique sprites.

120. ) Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.


Nope. No dreaming for Adol.

121. ) Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.


Nope. There are no calamities that test this rule.

122. ) Missing Master Hypothesis
Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some old master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.


Nope. Berhardt is still on your side.

123. ) Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule)
If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.


Not even. Berhardt only has info to give.

124. ) Gojira Axiom
Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
Low intelligence
Enormous strength
Projectile attacks
Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
Ecologically sensitive


Not even. Galbalan can actually be quite articulate.

125. ) "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.


No scenes like this.

126. ) Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)
If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.


Nope.

127. ) All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.


Not this, either.

128. ) First Law of Fashion
All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.


Nope. Adol's sprite changes whenever you get a new full equipment set.

129. ) Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.


Yep. Adol is in armor at all times.

130. ) Third Law of Fashion
In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat.


No futurisms here!

131. ) First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom)
Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum just in time for the coup.


Yep, though Nicholas has his eyes on something other than McGuire's throne.

132. ) Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom)
If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.


Yeah. McGuire is bad, but what Nicholas Garland has in mind...

133. ) Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.


Romun Empire is always bad.

134. ) Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.


Not here.

135. ) Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.


No chance for this to come into play.

136. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.


Yep. Well, all minus one, anyway.

137. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.


Again, those are also there to help you, up to and including Lord McGuire's own wife.

138. ) Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.


Not this time.

139. ) The Ominous Ring of Land
The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed.


No rings of that sort around here.

140. ) Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.


Not even.

141. ) Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.


Nope. All of the guards are where they should be.

142. ) Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.


Not this time.

143. ) Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.


Yep. No falling damage for Adol.

144. ) Materials Science 101
Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.


No crafting.

145. ) Materials Science 201
Everyone you meet will talk enthusiastically about how some fantastically rare metal (iron, say) would make the best possible armor and weapons. Oh, if only you could get your hands on some! However, once you actually obtain iron -- at great personal risk, of course -- everyone will dismiss it as yesterday's news and instead start talking about some even more fantastically rare metal, such as gold. Repeat until you get to the metal after "mythril" (see The Ultimate Rule.)


See above.

146. ) Seventh Inning Stretch (Elc Rule)
At some point in the game the main hero will receive a deadly story-driven injury and will be put in a hospital instead of having a mage heal him. This will leave him out of commission for at least the length of two sidequests; the female lead will also be temporarily out of commission as she steadfastly refuses to leave the hero's side. Ultimately a simple vision quest is all that will be required to bring the hero back to normal.


Nope. Adol is in it to win it.

147. ) Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.


Nope. Adol's three magics remain useful for the whole game.

148. ) Gender Equality, Part 1 (Feena Rule)
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.


Not even.

149. ) Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
If any female character, in a burst of anger or enthusiasm, decides to go off and accomplish something on her own without the hero, she will fail miserably and again have to be rescued.


Yep. Elena really should've just stayed home.

150. ) Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)
All of the effort you put into maxing out the female lead's statistics and special abilities will turn out to be for naught when she spends the final confrontation with the villain dead, ensorcelled, or held hostage.


Doesn't apply.

151. ) Gender Equality Addendum (Rynn Rule)
In the unlikely event that the main character of the game is female, she will not be involved in any romantic subplot whatsoever beyond getting hit on by shopkeepers.


Adol is the mainest character.

152. ) Stealing The Spotlight (Edea Rule)
The characters who join your party only briefly tend to be much cooler than your regular party members.


No stealing from Adol.

153. ) "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."


None of these about.

154. ) Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.


Nope. It actually makes sense.

155. ) Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.


Nah. Galbalan only took one dude to put down the last time.

156. ) Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.


Yeah, but Chester goes to great lengths to make amends.

157. ) Doomed Utopia Theorem (Law of Zeal)
All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.


Not around here.

158. ) Party Guidance Rule
Somewhere in the last third of the story, the hero will make a stupid decision and the rest of the party must remind him of all that they have learned from being with him in order to return the hero to normal.


Not this time.

159. ) Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...


Not really this time, either.

160. ) Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...


Yep. Nicholas is full of plans.

161. ) General Leo's Exception
Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...


Pretty much everyone surrounding Lord McGuire are jerks.

162. ) The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
No matter how tough one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him.


Chester does learn the error of his ways, though.

163. ) All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.


Yep. Galbalan is patient.

164.) Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.


Not this time around.

165. ) Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, arduous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.


Not here!

166. ) Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permanently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...


Not this time around, either. Adol never throws things away.

167. ) The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.


See above.


168. ) Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.


Nope. The bad guys have found easier people to manipulate.

169. ) Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.


None of those about.

170. ) Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.


Not here. There's no chance.

171. ) World of Mild Inconvenience
The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other large-scale disaster that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that a few party members may become lost and you can find them later.


Npe. This is Ys, where you can actually prevent calamities.

172. ) Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.


Nope.

173. ) Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.


Not even.

174. ) Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.


Nope, though this is because there's only one shop.

175. ) Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.


Yep.

176. ) "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
If the villain needs all ten legendary medallions to attain world domination and you have nine of them, everybody in your party still thinks it is necessary to bring the nine to the villain's castle and get the final one, instead of hiding the ones they've already got and spoiling his plans that way. After you foolishly bring the legendary medallions to the villain's hideout, he will kidnap one of your companions (usually the main love interest) and you will trade the world away to rescue your friend.


Not this time, if only because Chester is somewhat more proactive about acquiring the statues, anyway.

177. ) Dark Helmet's Corollary
After you give up the medallions to save your friend/parent/lover/other miscellaneous party member, don't expect to actually get that person back. Sucker!


Not here, either. Chester actually follows through on his word.

178. ) It's Not My Department, Says Wernher Von Braun
All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or crash violently to earth before the end of the game.


None of these about.

179. ) The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.


Garland was able to Manipulate the church, a Romun Lord, and Chester, but he still gets hammered town by our red-headed itinerant adventurer.

180. ) Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.


Nope. Stuff is still in decent shape by the endgame.

181. ) Poetic Villain Principle (Kefka Rule)
All villains will suddenly become poets, philosophers, and/or dramatic actors when a) they first meet the hero, b) they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready, c) some major event in the game is about to begin, d) right before the final battle, and e) right before they die, when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it.


Garland can be full of dramatic, yes.

182. ) Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.


Nope. Ys games tend not to have enough plot threats to crash down.

183. ) Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Yep. Not even when the undead have started roaming around.

184. ) Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.


Nope. No devastation, plus Genos Island is a bit too hot a potato for the merchants of Redmont.

185. ) The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.


Yep. No villains get out of this one alive.

186. ) Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.


Nope. Side missions can time out.

187. ) "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.


Nope! Galbalan only has the one form.

188. ) In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.


See above.

189. ) The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.


Nope. No one of that description is on team bad.

190. ) Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.


Nope. Only in boss rush.

191. ) The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.


Not this time.

192. ) Know Your Audience (Vyse Rule)
Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.


Amazingly, not in this Ys game.

-------------------

So, for Ys: Oath in Felghana, we have:

Yes: 55
No: 137

Well, not too much here. Next time, however, I'll be doing Final Fantasy 7, and we'll see just how cliché that manages to be.


Top
PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, '15, 11:31 pm 
Okay, so here it is, Final Fantasy VII, one of the big driving forces behind the Grand List in the first place, as it triggered the rise in popularity of JRPGs on Western shores. But just how cliché is it, when you get down to it? As usual, there will be spoilers.

1. ) Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.


Nope. Cloud is a man of action.

2. ) "No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.


Yep. In fact, no fewer than three characters have had their hometown burned down in this game.

3. )Thinking With The Wrong Head (Adol Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.


Yep. Cloud does this even though he's a Grumpy Gus.

4. ) Cubic Zirconium Corollary
The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.


The Holy Materia is close enough.

5. ) Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.


Actually, no. Yuffie is a token kid, but the rest of the cast runs the gamut from early '20s to mid-'30s.

6. ) Single Parent Rule
RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.


Nope, if only because no main characters have actual living parents.

7. ) Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.


Not even. Everyone's on a first-name basis.

8. ) Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a possessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.


Not everyone. The NPC members of Avalanche have unique names and models, but are largely ancillary and quickly liquidated.

9. ) The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.


We hit quite a few of them, so yeah.

10. ) Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)


Shinra is pretty much this to a T. The power company that rules the world.

11. ) Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.


Not this game. Now, Dirge of Cerberus, on the other hand...

12. ) Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.


Nope. Yuffie's father is a sell-out, but they ain't broke.

13. ) The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.


Well, there was no dodging this one.

14. ) Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.


It's a Final Fantasy game, this was going to happen.

15. ) Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.)
The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.


Amazingly, we don't hit enough here to count- Aeris is actually rather aggressive for her skillset.

16. ) Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.


Here, on the other hand...

17. ) Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.


I'm just going to say yes here, too.

18. ) Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.


Cloud gives more than enough lip to everyone else on his own.

19. ) "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.


To. The. Letter.

20. ) Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their possessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.


Again, FF game. It is how it is.

21. ) Aeris's Corollary
Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.


Oooh, yeah.

22. ) MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?


One for each character, even!

23. ) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.


Not this time around.

24. ) Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.


Yep. Good luck finding that Ultima again.

25. ) Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.


You got all the TARDIS and more.

26. ) Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.


Indeedy.

27. ) Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.


Yep. And the plot is also based on someone misinterpreting some of them.

28. ) IDKFA
The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.


Yep. What is this thing you call logistics?

29. ) Indestructible Weapon Rule
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.


No breakage here.

30. ) Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.


Yep. Okay at jumping, not so much at stepping over things.

31. ) Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.


You got it!

32. ) You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.


Yep. The Turks will not go away.

33. ) And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)


Yep. In fact, there's not even a later about it.

34. ) Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.


Nope. Sephiroth can't teleport, and he doesn't take any artifacts because his real body (as opposed to his Jenova-cell clones) is actually immobile.

35. ) Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.


Yep. Alternatively, he did it before you even got there.

36. ) Clockwork Universe Rule
No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.


Well, kinda.

37. ) Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.


Yeah, we got that.

38. ) You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate how tough he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.


Not this time, though.

39. ) "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.


It's a bit complicated in the details, but yeah.

40. ) Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.


Nope. You are not required to rescue the four huge materia.

41. ) George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.


Yeah, sorry.

42. ) Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.


Enough of these are hit to count as a yes.


43. ) Midgar Principle
The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.


It'd be really strange if this didn't apply, considering.

44. ) Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.


Nope. Tech is fairly widespread.

45. ) Law of Cartographical Elegance
The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.


Yep.

46. ) ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.


Not this time around.

47. ) We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.


Nope. Shinra doesn't even need an excuse.

48. ) Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.


Not this time around. What do you think this is, FF9?

49. ) Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)


Not this time, if only because the world has already been conquered.

50. ) Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.


Yeah, pretty much.

51. ) Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.


Not here.

52. ) Insomnia Rule
A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.


It happens once, which is enough.

53. ) The Bling-Bling Thing (Lemina Rule)
No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the greedy member of your party will never be satisfied and won't stop griping about the sorry state of the party's finances.


No super-greed members around here.

54. ) I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.


Always.

55. ) Houdini's Postulate
Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they're so cool. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.


You got it. Tifa is a slippery customer.

56. ) Zeigfried's Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.


Yep.

57. ) Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.


Nope. Junon acquires many distinct shops.

58. ) But They Don't Take American Express
Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.


No one can resist the lure of the Gilder.

59. ) Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.


Yep. They're the heroes the world deserves.

60. ) The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.


You got it!

61. ) Henchman Quota (Nana, Saki, and Mio Rule)
One of your antagonists will have three lovably incompetent stooges whom you fight over and over again. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, argue incessantly among themselves, blab secret information, and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a diversion or a delaying tactic. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to convince the stooges you're all on the same side. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.


Nope. The Turks are too good at what they do to fall under this.

62. ) Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.


Evil is not by the calendar.

63. ) Principle of Narrative Efficiency
If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.


Not even.

64. ) Ayn Rand's Revenge
Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.


Nope. The hand of Shinra reaches pretty much everywhere.

65. ) First Law of Travel
Anything can become a vehicle -- castles, cities, military academies, you name it -- so do not be alarmed when the stones of the ancient fortress you are visiting shake underfoot and the whole thing lifts off into the sky. As a corollary, anything is capable of flight if it would be cool, aeronautics or even basic physics be damned.


Not this time. Only vehicles are vehicles.

66. ) Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.


Nope. Yours is just one of a few or many.

67. ) Third Law of Travel
The only way to travel by land between different areas of a continent will always be through a single narrow pass in a range of otherwise impenetrable mountains. Usually a palace or monastery will have been constructed in the pass, entirely filling it, so that all intracontinental traffic is apparently required to abandon their vehicles and go on foot up stairs and through the barracks, library and throne room to get to the other side. This may explain why most people just stay home. (In some cases a cave or underground tunnel may be substituted for the palace or monastery, but it will still be just as inconvenient with the added bonuses of cave-ins and nonsensical elevator puzzles.)


Yep. Travel is not great.

68. ) Fourth Law of Travel
Three out of every four vehicles you ride on will eventually sink, derail or crash in some spectacular manner.


Despite this being FF7, somehow you manage to avoid this.

69. ) Fifth Law of Travel
All vehicles can be driven or piloted by anyone. The main character just needs to find out where the bridge or steering wheel is, as he already knows all of the controls.


Nope. Your airship is piloted by an actual pilot.

70. ) Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.


This still works out, though.

71. ) Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.


You got it.

72. ) Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.


Yep, No shortcuts at all.

73. ) Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.


Yep. Even Palmer.

74. ) If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)


It's a monster house!

75. ) Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.


Yep. Finally.

76. ) Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unnecessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.


Not this time either. There are enemies that are outright weak to poison, and Stop works on a surprising number of bosses.

77. ) Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.


Well, yeah.

78. ) Pretty Line Syndrome (or, Crash Bandicoot: The RPG)
Seen in most modern RPGs. The key to completing your quest is to walk forward in a straight line for fifty hours, stopping along the way to look at, kill, and/or have meaningful conversations with various pretty things.


Pretty much.

78. ) Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.


You will have no lack of opponents.

79. ) Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies.


This can happen, though.

80. ) Dungeon Design 101
There's always goodies hidden behind the waterfall.


You are going to be doing a good bit of secret digging.

81. ) Dungeon Design 102
When you are confronted by two doors, the closer one will be locked and its key will be hidden behind the farther-away one.


You got it.

82. ) Dungeon Design 103 (or, Wallpaper Warning)
Your progress through a dungeon will be indicated by a sudden change in decor: different wall color, different torches on the wall, et cetera.


Sometimes, but yes.

83. ) Dungeon Design 201 (or, The Interior Decorators Anticipated Your Out-Of-Body Experience)
Most dungeons will include "hidden" passages which are nearly impossible to see from a bird's-eye view, yet would be blaringly obvious from the party's perspective.


Yes, even though there are plenty of varied camera perspectives.

84. ) Dungeon Design 301
All "puzzles" in RPG dungeons can be sorted into one of the following types:
finding some small item and sticking it into a slot;
pushing blocks (rocks, statues) onto switches;
pulling switches or levers to open and close doors;
learning the correct order/position of a group of objects;
entering a certain combination of doors;
something involving a clock or elevator;
something that is unsolvable because a vital clue in the dialogue was mistranslated out of Japanese.


Yeah, there you go.

85. ) Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.


This happens enough to apply.

86. ) Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.


Occasionally, yes.

87. ) Edison's Lament
No switch is ever in the right position.


Never.

88. ) Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.


Nope. There is a Church building, but there doesn't actually seem to be religion.

89. ) Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.


Nope. People tend to have other troubles on their mind.

90. ) Wherever You Go, There They Are
Wherever the characters go, the villains can always find them. Chances are they're asking the guy in the street (see above). But don't worry -- despite being able to find the characters with ease anytime they want to, the bad guys never get rid of them by simply blowing up the tent or hotel they're spending the night in. (Just think of it: the screen dims, the peaceful going-to-sleep-now music plays, then BOOM! Game Over!)


Yep.

91. ) Figurehead Rule
Whenever someone asks you a question to decide what to do, it's just to be polite. He or she will ask the question again and again until you answer "correctly."


Yep. But can't start the game until you choose yes.

92. ) Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.


Yep.

93. ) Franklin Covey Was Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
Sticking to the task at hand and going directly from place to place and goal to goal is always a bad idea, and may even prevent you from being able to finish the game. It's by dawdling around, completing side quests and giving money to derelicts that you come into your real power.


Yep. So many sidequests.

94. ) Selective Invulnerability Principle
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!


Well, there we go.

95. ) I'm the NRA (Billy Lee Black Rule)
Opposition to gun control is probably the only thing you could get all RPG characters to agree upon. Even deep religious faith and heartfelt pacifism can't compete with the allure of guns.


All the guns you can eat.

96. ) Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.


Yep, there can be up to three.

97. ) Experience Not Required
When the main character is forced to do some complex or dangerous task for the first time, even though he has never done it before he will still always be better than the oldest veteran.


Not this time.

98. ) Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.


Actually, this doesn't seem to follow- they were different from the current one, but not necessarily more advanced.

99. ) Science-Magic Equivalence (Citan Rule)
Although mages' specialty is magic and scientists' specialty is technology, these skills are completely interchangeable.


Not here, sorry, in part because magery isn't a recognized specialty.

100. ) Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.


Yep.

101. ) Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.


Seems that way from here.

102. ) Near-Death Epiphany (Fei Rule)
If the party is not dealing damage to a boss character, then there's a better-than-even chance that someone in the party will suddenly become enlightened and instantly acquire the offensive skill that can blow the creature away in a matter of seconds.


Not in this game.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, '15, 8:32 pm 
104. ) Wutai Rule
Most RPGs, no matter what their mythology, include a land based on ancient Japan. Full of pagodas, shrines, shoguns, kitsune, and sushi, this completely anachronistic place is the source of the entire world's supply of ninja and samurai characters.


Gee, I wonder.

105. ) Law of Mooks
Soldiers and guards working for the Evil Empire are, as a rule, sloppy, cowardly and incompetent. Members of the heroic Resistance Faction are, as a rule, dreadfully weak and undertrained and will be wiped out to the last man the moment they come in contact with the enemy.


Yep. Sinra soldiers are not great, and Avalanche does not last long.

106. ) Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.


Sure, why not.

107. ) Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.


No tree-talkins around here.

108. ) You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.


Not really. You're only forced to enter once, and you're under no obligation to win.

109. ) Invisible Bureaucracy Rule
Other than the royal family, its shifty advisor, and the odd mad scientist, the only government employees you will ever encounter in the course of your adventure are either guards or kitchen staff.


Nope. There are all kinds of Shinra officers, bureaucrats, and toadies laying around.

110. ) The Miracle of Automation
Similarly, any factory, power plant, or other facility that you visit during the course of the game will be devoid of any human life except for the occasional guards. There will not be a single line worker or maintenance person in sight.


This remains true.

111. ) Principle of Archaeological Convenience
Every ancient machine you find will work perfectly the first time you try to use it and every time thereafter. Even if its city got blasted into ruins and the machine was then sunk to the bottom of the sea and buried in mud for ten thousand years, it'll still work fine. The unfortunate corollary to this rule is that ancient guardian creatures will also turn out to be working perfectly when you try to filch their stuff.


Yep.

112. ) They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
Modern-day machinery, by contrast, will always break down at the worst possible moment (for example, when you only need one more shot from the giant cannon to defeat the final boss.)


Yep. Sorry, but blowing up Meteor doesn't work.

113. ) Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.


Yes. Not only this, but making Cloud the prettiest is actually the optimal route for speedrunning the game.

114. ) Make Room! Make Room!
There are always more people in a town or village than there are houses for them to live in. Most of the village is made up of shops, temples, bars, secret passages, inns, and the mansion that belongs to the richest man in town.


Well, it's still an FF game, that's for sure.

115. ) Law of Scientific Gratification
If the hero needs a new invention to progress, he will find out that somewhere in the world someone has spent his or her entire life perfecting this invention, and usually just needs one more key item located in a monster-infested dungeon before it is completed.


Not this time around.

116. ) You Always Travel In The Right Circles
Whenever you meet a villager or other such incidental character who promises to give you some great piece of needed knowledge or a required object in exchange for a seemingly simple item, such as a bar of soap or a nice straw mat, be prepared to spend at least an hour chasing around the world exchanging useless innocuous item after item with bizarre strangers until you can get that elusive first item you were asked for.


Not in this game.

117. ) Talk Is Cheap Rule
Nothing is ever solved by diplomacy or politics in the world of RPGs. Any declarations of peace, summits and treaty negotiations are traps to fool the ever so gullible Good Guys into thinking the war is over, or to brainwash the remaining leaders of the world.


Nope. Shinra already rules the world.

118. ) Stop Your Life (Setzer Rule)
No matter what kind of exciting, dynamic life a character was leading before joining your party, once there they will be perfectly content to sit and wait on the airship until you choose to use them.


Nope. Pretty much everyone who joins your party either has nowhere else to go or duplicitous intentions.

119. ) Don't Stand Out
Any townsperson who is dressed oddly or otherwise doesn't fit in with the rest of the townsfolk will either:
Join your party after you complete some task,
Be in the employ of your enemy, or
Befriend any female member of the party, and then be immediately captured and held hostage by the villains.


Not really. Most townies have unique models/skins.

120. ) Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.


Not this time. Cloud's memories are anything but accurate, and half of them aren't even his.

121. ) Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.


Yep. Marlene makes it through.

122. ) Missing Master Hypothesis
Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some old master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.


Not this time around.

123. ) Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule)
If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.


Not even. Tifa's master is gone and remains gone.

124. ) Gojira Axiom
Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
Low intelligence
Enormous strength
Projectile attacks
Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
Ecologically sensitive


Well, hello there, Weapon!

125. ) "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.


This actually happens with Cloud and Tifa, though in a flashback.

126. ) Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)
If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.


Nope. Cloud remains Cloud-strong even when he's out of his gourd.

127. ) All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.


Yep. And Yuffie does give back all your Materia.

128. ) First Law of Fashion
All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.


You got it.

129. ) Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.


This applies too.

130. ) Third Law of Fashion
In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat.


Nope, if only because there are no female Shinra troops.

131. ) First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom)
Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum just in time for the coup.


This manages to not apply- Rufus is an opportunist, not a patricide.

132. ) Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom)
If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.


Nope. Sephiroth has always been his own man.

133. ) Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.


Nope. Neither kingdoms nor empires exist.

134. ) Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.


Not here.

135. ) Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.


Not at all. No replacement Aeris for you.

136. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.


Yep. Though, Yuffie doesn't join you out of the goodness of her heart, at first.

137. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.


Yep. Scarlet has it out for you.

138. ) Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.


Yep, with a double-helping of option B.

139. ) The Ominous Ring of Land
The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed.


No rings of that sort around here.

140. ) Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.


Not even. Villains stay villains.

141. ) Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.


Nope. All of the guards are where they should be.

142. ) Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.


Not this time.

143. ) Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.


Yep. There's only one character who falls off of something and actually dies from it.

144. ) Materials Science 101
Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.


You got it, though at least these are lesser armors.

145. ) Materials Science 201
Everyone you meet will talk enthusiastically about how some fantastically rare metal (iron, say) would make the best possible armor and weapons. Oh, if only you could get your hands on some! However, once you actually obtain iron -- at great personal risk, of course -- everyone will dismiss it as yesterday's news and instead start talking about some even more fantastically rare metal, such as gold. Repeat until you get to the metal after "mythril" (see The Ultimate Rule.)


Not this time around.

146. ) Seventh Inning Stretch (Elc Rule)
At some point in the game the main hero will receive a deadly story-driven injury and will be put in a hospital instead of having a mage heal him. This will leave him out of commission for at least the length of two sidequests; the female lead will also be temporarily out of commission as she steadfastly refuses to leave the hero's side. Ultimately a simple vision quest is all that will be required to bring the hero back to normal.


Yep. Though Cloud's incapacitation isn't entirely physical.

147. ) Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.


Yeah, you got us there.

148. ) Gender Equality, Part 1 (Feena Rule)
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.


Somehow, this manages to get avoided.

149. ) Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
If any female character, in a burst of anger or enthusiasm, decides to go off and accomplish something on her own without the hero, she will fail miserably and again have to be rescued.


Yep. Though this also applies to Aeris when she runs off with more permanent consequences.

150. ) Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)
All of the effort you put into maxing out the female lead's statistics and special abilities will turn out to be for naught when she spends the final confrontation with the villain dead, ensorcelled, or held hostage.


Doesn't apply, since Tifa is the actual female lead.

151. ) Gender Equality Addendum (Rynn Rule)
In the unlikely event that the main character of the game is female, she will not be involved in any romantic subplot whatsoever beyond getting hit on by shopkeepers.


Cloud is the mainest character.

152. ) Stealing The Spotlight (Edea Rule)
The characters who join your party only briefly tend to be much cooler than your regular party members.


Yep. Sephiroth be STRONK.

153. ) "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."


Image

This doesn't even apply to FF7! It's established in journals that Sephiroth's sword is actually something of a Vile weapon- that is a weapon whose wounds repel any attempt to heal by outside treatment. However, most people don't know about it because all of this information was placed behind an obscure secret in a town that you had no reason to go back to. Also, of all of the other NPCs who are killed on-screen, they are either disposed of by Shinra (the populations of Nibelheim and Corel, Zack), vaporized (Scarlet and Heidegger), also killed by Sephiroth (President Shinra, the failed Sephiroth clones), or otherwise inaccessible (Dyne). Also, note the only time you face Sephiroth with his actual sword is in a battle where you have no access to healing magic.

154. ) Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.


This, however, remains applicable.

155. ) Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.


Yep, though Jenova is an odd case in which it's an ancient evil, but not the actual final boss.

156. ) Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.


Well, here we go.

157. ) Doomed Utopia Theorem (Law of Zeal)
All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.


Not this time.

158. ) Party Guidance Rule
Somewhere in the last third of the story, the hero will make a stupid decision and the rest of the party must remind him of all that they have learned from being with him in order to return the hero to normal.


Doesn't apply here, either.

159. ) Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...


Yep. Vincent alone counts as at least two of these at once.

160. ) Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...


Not this time.

161. ) General Leo's Exception
Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...


Not here, either.

162. ) The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
No matter how tough one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him.


somehow, Reeve actually manages to survive.

163. ) All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.


Oh absolutely. Meteor will stay there until you're ready.

164.) Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.


Not this time around.

165. ) Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, arduous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.


Not here!

166. ) Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permanently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...


Amazingly, this manages to not apply.

167. ) The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.


See above.


168. ) Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.


Yep. Because you are a puppet.

169. ) Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.


Yep. Though Cloud is in the particularly insidious state of not even knowing he has amnesia.

170. ) Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.


Not here. There's no chance.

171. ) World of Mild Inconvenience
The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other large-scale disaster that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that a few party members may become lost and you can find them later.


Yep, both with the collapse of the Midgar Sector and the eruption at the North crater.

172. ) Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.


Yeah, pretty much.

173. ) Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.


Yes. (I even have the Brady guide...)

174. ) Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.


Yeah, pretty much.

175. ) Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.


Yep.

176. ) "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
If the villain needs all ten legendary medallions to attain world domination and you have nine of them, everybody in your party still thinks it is necessary to bring the nine to the villain's castle and get the final one, instead of hiding the ones they've already got and spoiling his plans that way. After you foolishly bring the legendary medallions to the villain's hideout, he will kidnap one of your companions (usually the main love interest) and you will trade the world away to rescue your friend.


Not this time. Sephiroth has other manipulations to exert.

177. ) Dark Helmet's Corollary
After you give up the medallions to save your friend/parent/lover/other miscellaneous party member, don't expect to actually get that person back. Sucker!


Not here, either.

178. ) It's Not My Department, Says Wernher Von Braun
All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or crash violently to earth before the end of the game.


None of these about. In fact the lack of a space program is a minor plot point.

179. ) The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.


Yep. Sephrioth's scheming will not end well.

180. ) Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.


Actually, aside from Mideel getting wrecked, the rest of the world is in okay shape.

181. ) Poetic Villain Principle (Kefka Rule)
All villains will suddenly become poets, philosophers, and/or dramatic actors when a) they first meet the hero, b) they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready, c) some major event in the game is about to begin, d) right before the final battle, and e) right before they die, when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it.


Yep. Sephiroth is the wooliest drama llama.

182. ) Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.


Yes, and I'll even tell you why. Basically, the story of FF7 went through about five or six different iterations, and assets were created for each of these different versions. However, in the runup to the deadline they realized they needed an actual story, so they wrote the final story to tie together all of the assets made for all of the other, scrapped versions of the story. In fact, the very first iteration of FF7's story and its assets were so far removed from the later versions that they were spun off and developed into a different game altogether, Parasite Eve.

183. ) Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Yep. Not even when the world is at stake.

184. ) Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.


Nope.

185. ) The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.


Yep. No villains get out of this one alive.

186. ) Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.


Yep. This is the game it comes from, after all.

187. ) "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.


Hello, Sephiroth.

188. ) In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.


Yep. Probably the most famous example.

189. ) The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.


Nope, because it takes more than beating Sephiroth to solve the problem.

190. ) Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.


Well, there you go!

191. ) The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.


Not this time.

192. ) Know Your Audience (Vyse Rule)
Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.


Not even.
------------------------

Okay, for the final count, it's-

Yes: 110
No: 83.

Despite this list basically being founded on FF7 and its followers, FF7 itself manages to score only one higher than FF4 on the cliché scale, and that's only because of people thinking that things in FF7 were actually common tropes in JRPGs- if it weren't for some very specific items on the list, FF7 would score lower than FF4.

Now I'm beginning to wonder how FF6 would hold...


Last edited by R-90-2 on Fri Feb 27, '15, 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, '15, 12:40 am 
Well, since I've finished Trails in the Sky and Trails in the Sky SC, it's time to do them both together, as they were originally intended as one game before the trademark Falcom split.

1. ) Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.


Lead is not male, and so is the opposite- Estelle is awake when she shouldn't be.

2. ) "No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.


No town burn-downings. In the game's timeframe proper, anyways.

3. )Thinking With The Wrong Head (Adol Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.


If this ever happens, it's because our heroes belong to and organization with a mandate to protect the public.

4. ) Cubic Zirconium Corollary
The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.


None of this, nope.

5. ) Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.


Nope. Estell and Joshua are actually the youngest members of the party minus oneother, and the more experienced characters, ranging from age 20 to 30, are in there because experience is also needed to resolve things.

6. ) Single Parent Rule
RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.


Nope. Tita, Olivier, and probably Zane all have two surviving parents.

7. ) Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.


Applies in almost no cases, except Dr. Weissman.

8. ) Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a possessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.

Nope. Almost all NPCs in the game have unique names.

9. ) The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.


Enough of these apply to count.

10. ) Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)


Nope. Technology for everyone!

11. ) Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.


Nope. You lose your stuff between the first game and SC, but you get equivalent equipment at the beginning of SC, plus you keep all of your levels and Crafts.

12. ) Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.


Nope. Kloe and Olivier's families are still very well-off.

13. ) The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.


Nope. However, the literal meaning of this phrase does apply, as the character with the most outrageous hairstyle is Father Kevin Graham, a priest of the Septian church.

14. ) Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.


Nope. You just can't take stuff from houses.

15. ) Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.)
The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.


Only two of these apply, so no luck.

16. ) Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.


There are plenty of villains, but none of these really fit the stereotypes here.

17. ) Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.


Astonishingly, This doesn't really apply either. Anyone who wants to play games with you wants to do actual casino gambling.

18. ) Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.


Nope, since all of the protagonists are pretty mouthy.

19. ) "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.


Nope. The main hero, Estelle, and the main villain, Dr. Weissman, both use staves.

20. ) Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their possessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.


It's dangerous out there, plus our heroes have the benefit of being mostly members of the Bracer Guild, so seeing them with weapons is no more out of the ordinary than seeing armed police.

21. ) Aeris's Corollary
Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.


Yeah, but Estelle uses a staff for thumping, not magery.

22. ) MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?


Nope. Zane uses gloves, but he is punch-man.

23. ) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.


In spirit. Joshua doesn't have any natural siblings, but Löwe fulfills that older brother role.

24. ) Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.


Oooh, yeah.

25. ) Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.


Nope. Building interiors are properly scaled to their exterior.

26. ) Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.


Nope. Calling in help from other regions is standard practice in Liberl.

27. ) Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.


No prophecies or legends to speak of.

28. ) IDKFA
The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.


Yep, though guns are hardly rare.

29. ) Indestructible Weapon Rule
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.


Yep. No sudden breakage here.

30. ) Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.


Yep.

31. ) Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.


Indeed.

32. ) You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.


You don't actually get to seriously, story-wise decisively beat any of the major villains until the end of the game, so arresting them is a moot point.

33. ) And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)


Nope. The only times this really happens in the game, it's done by an antagonist who is established to be non-murderous, and fighting you guys was never even part of the plan, or the enemy is interrupted by some outside interference that keeps them from following through.

34. ) Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.


Nope. Only a couple can teleport, but the villains already have all of the doohickeys they need for the plan before the game even starts.

35. ) Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.


Nope. Whenever you encounter a villain in the middle of some process, the process is largely automated, so they're only there to keep you from interfering.

36. ) Clockwork Universe Rule
No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.


Not really, because you don't even know what the full scope villains' plan really was in the first place until the final area appears on the map.

37. ) Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.


Yep. Pretty much the finale of the first game, with the added bonus that in Japan, no one knew that it wasn't going to be a standalone when it was first released.

38. ) You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate how tough he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.


Nope. The true villain does show up, but only to have a private chat with Joshua and then leave.

39. ) "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.


Nope. Weissman's goals are somewhat different than mere conquest, and there's still a thread that's not really resolved until a couple of games later in the Trails series.

40. ) Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.


Nope. The Seven Sept-Terrions are mentioned, but the plot doesn't revolve around locating all seven.

41. ) George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.


Nope. The whole game takes place in the country of Liberl, where you visit five cities and a number of smaller villages.

42. ) Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.


Nope. Falcom doesn't do world-spanning games.


43. ) Midgar Principle
The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.


Not here, either. We have not yet seen the capital of Erebonia.

44. ) Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.


Nope, because the technological revolution has spread fairly evenly across the country.

45. ) Law of Cartographical Elegance
The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.


Nope. We don't even have a map of the whole Zemurain continent, much less the world.

46. ) ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.


Not really- you're all basically members of the same organization.

47. ) We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.


Nope. Both the government of Leberl and the Septian Church are quite helpful.

48. ) Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.


Not in this franchise.

49. ) Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)


Not a chance. The Empire did try to conquer Liberl a decade ago, but was pretty badly beaten in the attempt.

50. ) Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.


Not this time. Books can actually have quite a few pages, especially the Bracer guidebooks and the Recipe Book you have.

51. ) Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.


Not here. They weren't wiped out- there was something more insidious going on.

52. ) Insomnia Rule
A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.


Only sometimes.

53. ) The Bling-Bling Thing (Lemina Rule)
No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the greedy member of your party will never be satisfied and won't stop griping about the sorry state of the party's finances.


Greed is not part of this party.

54. ) I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.


Oh, yes. Especially Pater-Mater.

55. ) Houdini's Postulate
Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they're so cool. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.


Not really- Estelle is actually the only character who escapes imprisonment on her own awesome.

56. ) Zeigfried's Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.


That fits.

57. ) Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.


Nope. No city has less than four, and Grancel and Bose have over a half dozen each, with different stuff.

58. ) But They Don't Take American Express
Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.


Nope, since the entire game takes place in only one country.

59. ) Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.


Nope. There are all kinds of groups working towards the same end.

60. ) The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.


Not this game.

61. ) Henchman Quota (Nana, Saki, and Mio Rule)
One of your antagonists will have three lovably incompetent stooges whom you fight over and over again. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, argue incessantly among themselves, blab secret information, and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a diversion or a delaying tactic. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to convince the stooges you're all on the same side. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.


Not really. Not even the Capuas count, because they're nobody's stooge, and they are actually quite helpful in parts of SC.

62. ) Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.


Nope. Whatever the Aureole really is, it isn't intrinsically evil, it's probably indestructible, and destroying it might actually have some very unfortunate repercussions for the underlying fabric of the game universe.

63. ) Principle of Narrative Efficiency
If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.


Nope.

64. ) Ayn Rand's Revenge
Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.


Nope. The government is watchful, plus the Bracers fill in the gaps.

65. ) First Law of Travel
Anything can become a vehicle -- castles, cities, military academies, you name it -- so do not be alarmed when the stones of the ancient fortress you are visiting shake underfoot and the whole thing lifts off into the sky. As a corollary, anything is capable of flight if it would be cool, aeronautics or even basic physics be damned.


Not this time. A ship is a ship.

66. ) Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.


Nope. There are plenty of airships, enough for them to be commercial liners.

67. ) Third Law of Travel
The only way to travel by land between different areas of a continent will always be through a single narrow pass in a range of otherwise impenetrable mountains. Usually a palace or monastery will have been constructed in the pass, entirely filling it, so that all intracontinental traffic is apparently required to abandon their vehicles and go on foot up stairs and through the barracks, library and throne room to get to the other side. This may explain why most people just stay home. (In some cases a cave or underground tunnel may be substituted for the palace or monastery, but it will still be just as inconvenient with the added bonuses of cave-ins and nonsensical elevator puzzles.)


Not here. Liberl has a fairly strong road system.

68. ) Fourth Law of Travel
Three out of every four vehicles you ride on will eventually sink, derail or crash in some spectacular manner.


Not even.

69. ) Fifth Law of Travel
All vehicles can be driven or piloted by anyone. The main character just needs to find out where the bridge or steering wheel is, as he already knows all of the controls.


Nope. This sort of thing is best left to the experts.

70. ) Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.


Not this time.

71. ) Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.


Not to another continent, but the airship travel in SC works like this.

72. ) Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.


Yep, No shortcuts at all.

73. ) Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.


Nope. Especially since anyone who can go where they please has some good reasons for being able to do so.

74. ) If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)


Your enemies are as varied as they are angry.

75. ) Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.


Nope.

76. ) Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unnecessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.


Nope. Most status ailments are riders to spells that do combat-worthy damage, plus debuffs are useful against a staggering number of bosses.

77. ) Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.


The enemy does not get this benefit, but there are some bosses where it's best to protect against this anyway.

78. ) Pretty Line Syndrome (or, Crash Bandicoot: The RPG)
Seen in most modern RPGs. The key to completing your quest is to walk forward in a straight line for fifty hours, stopping along the way to look at, kill, and/or have meaningful conversations with various pretty things.


I can't think of a single old game that would really pass this rule, so Mu.

78. ) Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.


Oh, yes.

79. ) Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies.


Nope. No possibility of friendly fire.

80. ) Dungeon Design 101
There's always goodies hidden behind the waterfall.


Yes. Always.

81. ) Dungeon Design 102
When you are confronted by two doors, the closer one will be locked and its key will be hidden behind the farther-away one.


Yep. In spirit, anyways.

82. ) Dungeon Design 103 (or, Wallpaper Warning)
Your progress through a dungeon will be indicated by a sudden change in decor: different wall color, different torches on the wall, et cetera.


A bit more dramatic, but yes.

83. ) Dungeon Design 201 (or, The Interior Decorators Anticipated Your Out-Of-Body Experience)
Most dungeons will include "hidden" passages which are nearly impossible to see from a bird's-eye view, yet would be blaringly obvious from the party's perspective.


Not in this game, thanks to Isometric.

84. ) Dungeon Design 301
All "puzzles" in RPG dungeons can be sorted into one of the following types:
finding some small item and sticking it into a slot;
pushing blocks (rocks, statues) onto switches;
pulling switches or levers to open and close doors;
learning the correct order/position of a group of objects;
entering a certain combination of doors;
something involving a clock or elevator;
something that is unsolvable because a vital clue in the dialogue was mistranslated out of Japanese.


Nope. Trails has very few puzzles, but they tend to be more interesting.

85. ) Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.


Nope. There is a very good reason for the place to collapse when you beat the only load-bearing boss in the game.

86. ) Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.


Yep.

87. ) Edison's Lament
No switch is ever in the right position.


Never.

88. ) Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.


Nope. Aidios probably does exist, but is pretty hands-off either way.

89. ) Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.


Yes, but that's because there are always witnesses, plus this is a setting where telephones and newspapers are a thing that exist.

90. ) Wherever You Go, There They Are
Wherever the characters go, the villains can always find them. Chances are they're asking the guy in the street (see above). But don't worry -- despite being able to find the characters with ease anytime they want to, the bad guys never get rid of them by simply blowing up the tent or hotel they're spending the night in. (Just think of it: the screen dims, the peaceful going-to-sleep-now music plays, then BOOM! Game Over!)


Nope. They can't always find you- most of the time you run into the main villains, it's because they've been doing something that attracts the party's attention.

91. ) Figurehead Rule
Whenever someone asks you a question to decide what to do, it's just to be polite. He or she will ask the question again and again until you answer "correctly."


Nope. When you're asked a question, it's because there's actual opinions involved.

92. ) Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.


NPCs have reams of dialogue, often changing with almost every story trigger. It's why the games took so long to localize.

93. ) Franklin Covey Was Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
Sticking to the task at hand and going directly from place to place and goal to goal is always a bad idea, and may even prevent you from being able to finish the game. It's by dawdling around, completing side quests and giving money to derelicts that you come into your real power.


Yep. There's a ton of really useful sidequests to do, and it's actually the only reliable way to get money, as monsters don't drop cash- Estelle and Joshua only really get money for doing Bracer Jobs, which makes sense, as the Bracer Guild is their employer.

94. ) Selective Invulnerability Principle
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!


Nope. The party has vulnerabilities they need to address.

95. ) I'm the NRA (Billy Lee Black Rule)
Opposition to gun control is probably the only thing you could get all RPG characters to agree upon. Even deep religious faith and heartfelt pacifism can't compete with the allure of guns.


Guns are around, yes, but Father Kevin stands out quite a bit for still using a crossbow.

96. ) Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.


Nope. By the end of the game, there are six females and six males.

97. ) Experience Not Required
When the main character is forced to do some complex or dangerous task for the first time, even though he has never done it before he will still always be better than the oldest veteran.


Nope.

98. ) Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.


No, because the source of the ancients' advancement is actually pretty well-documented.

99. ) Science-Magic Equivalence (Citan Rule)
Although mages' specialty is magic and scientists' specialty is technology, these skills are completely interchangeable.


Not really. There are very few people that could even begin to be described as mages, because most "magic" comes from the same advances that produce the setting's technology, like airships and mainframe computers.

100. ) Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.


Not in this game. People tend not to make ludicrous claims.

101. ) Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.


Not really. The townspeople are never really in the loop about the deeper truth of what's going on.

102. ) Near-Death Epiphany (Fei Rule)
If the party is not dealing damage to a boss character, then there's a better-than-even chance that someone in the party will suddenly become enlightened and instantly acquire the offensive skill that can blow the creature away in a matter of seconds.


Not in this game.


Top
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, '15, 1:53 am 
[quote="R-90-2"]104. ) Wutai Rule
Most RPGs, no matter what their mythology, include a land based on ancient Japan. Full of pagodas, shrines, shoguns, kitsune, and sushi, this completely anachronistic place is the source of the entire world's supply of ninja and samurai characters.


Nope on all counts. Most places operate on the same technology level. Also, while there is an "East", all of the important martial arts characters were born, lived, and trained in a country that has large immigrant populations rather than actually being Eastern natives.

105. ) Law of Mooks
Soldiers and guards working for the Evil Empire are, as a rule, sloppy, cowardly and incompetent. Members of the heroic Resistance Faction are, as a rule, dreadfully weak and undertrained and will be wiped out to the last man the moment they come in contact with the enemy.


Not really, because you never actually get into combat with Imperial soldiers.

106. ) Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.


Sure, why not.

107. ) Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.


Amazingly, no.

108. ) You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.


Yep. You have to enter and win- not for an item, but something also important.

109. ) Invisible Bureaucracy Rule
Other than the royal family, its shifty advisor, and the odd mad scientist, the only government employees you will ever encounter in the course of your adventure are either guards or kitchen staff.


Nope. There are all kinds of royal scholars, mayors, assistants, and engineers.

110. ) The Miracle of Automation
Similarly, any factory, power plant, or other facility that you visit during the course of the game will be devoid of any human life except for the occasional guards. There will not be a single line worker or maintenance person in sight.


Nope. The Zeiss central factory is swarming with workers.

111. ) Principle of Archaeological Convenience
Every ancient machine you find will work perfectly the first time you try to use it and every time thereafter. Even if its city got blasted into ruins and the machine was then sunk to the bottom of the sea and buried in mud for ten thousand years, it'll still work fine. The unfortunate corollary to this rule is that ancient guardian creatures will also turn out to be working perfectly when you try to filch their stuff.


Nope! Some work properly, but other ancient guardian machines malfunction on a regular basis.

112. ) They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (Cid Rule)
Modern-day machinery, by contrast, will always break down at the worst possible moment (for example, when you only need one more shot from the giant cannon to defeat the final boss.)


Not really. In fact, a lot of the battle robots churned out by Ouroboros are better than the ancient machines. Especially Pater-Mater.

113. ) Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.


Yep. And Joshua wishes it was only once. When Estelle and Kloe cross-dress, though, it's not for deception, just part of a school play.

114. ) Make Room! Make Room!
There are always more people in a town or village than there are houses for them to live in. Most of the village is made up of shops, temples, bars, secret passages, inns, and the mansion that belongs to the richest man in town.


Nope. Plenty of housing.

115. ) Law of Scientific Gratification
If the hero needs a new invention to progress, he will find out that somewhere in the world someone has spent his or her entire life perfecting this invention, and usually just needs one more key item located in a monster-infested dungeon before it is completed.


Not really. Professor Russel can innovate just fine on his own.

116. ) You Always Travel In The Right Circles
Whenever you meet a villager or other such incidental character who promises to give you some great piece of needed knowledge or a required object in exchange for a seemingly simple item, such as a bar of soap or a nice straw mat, be prepared to spend at least an hour chasing around the world exchanging useless innocuous item after item with bizarre strangers until you can get that elusive first item you were asked for.


Not in this game.

117. ) Talk Is Cheap Rule
Nothing is ever solved by diplomacy or politics in the world of RPGs. Any declarations of peace, summits and treaty negotiations are traps to fool the ever so gullible Good Guys into thinking the war is over, or to brainwash the remaining leaders of the world.


Not really- in fact, diplomatic chicanery is actually required in order to resolve one of the late-game crises.

118. ) Stop Your Life (Setzer Rule)
No matter what kind of exciting, dynamic life a character was leading before joining your party, once there they will be perfectly content to sit and wait on the airship until you choose to use them.


Nope. Pretty much everyone involved either is a part of the Bracer Guild or has a vested interest in joining up, and some will hop in and out of the available roster as other business comes up.

119. ) Don't Stand Out
Any townsperson who is dressed oddly or otherwise doesn't fit in with the rest of the townsfolk will either:
Join your party after you complete some task,
Be in the employ of your enemy, or
Befriend any female member of the party, and then be immediately captured and held hostage by the villains.


Not really.

120. ) Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.


Not this time.

121. ) Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.


Nope. This game can go to some pretty dark places.

122. ) Missing Master Hypothesis
Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some old master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.


Yep, and Zane is a threefer. His master was killed by a friend who turned evil and disappeared before finally turning back up in the events of SC.

123. ) Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule)
If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.


Not even. Zane's master is very dead.

124. ) Gojira Axiom
Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
Low intelligence
Enormous strength
Projectile attacks
Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
Ecologically sensitive


Nope. The only creature that might be able to do this is a dragon, who is intelligent, not killable by anything you have, and is more or less on your side.

125. ) "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.


Yeah.

126. ) Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)

Nope. Any manipulation is pretty brief.

127. ) All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.


Nope. Any time a player character pretends to be an enemy for some hidden purpose, it's at no cost to the party.

128. ) First Law of Fashion
All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.


Nope. Estelle, Joshua, and eventually Kloe all get new outfits for SC, and those three in particular go through quite a number of outfits.

129. ) Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.


This applies, though.

130. ) Third Law of Fashion
In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat.


Nope, if only because this isn't especially futuristic.

131. ) First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom)
Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum just in time for the coup.


This manages to not apply, because Chancellor Osborne of Erebonia is quite comfortable in his job- he has more power as a Chancellor.

132. ) Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom)
If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.


Nope, 'cause politics just don't work that way around here.

133. ) Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.


Nope. The Empire even apologized for the Hundred Days' War.

134. ) Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.


Not here.

135. ) Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.


Not at all.

136. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.


No no noooo. Luciola is not your friend.

137. ) Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.


Not even.

138. ) Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.


Not in this game.

139. ) The Ominous Ring of Land
The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed.


Yep. The kingdom of Liberl surrounds one big lake on all all sides, and the final area appears right above the dead center of it.

140. ) Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.


Not even. Characters generally have the same kinds of abilities in combat as well as out of combat (minus jumping).

141. ) Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.


Nope. All of the guards are where they should be.

142. ) Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.


Not this time- bringing down those kinds of things takes actual work.

143. ) Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.


Nope. In fact, characters that can fall from huge distances and live are specifically called out as being exceptional.

144. ) Materials Science 101
Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.


No such things are used as protection in these parts.

145. ) Materials Science 201
Everyone you meet will talk enthusiastically about how some fantastically rare metal (iron, say) would make the best possible armor and weapons. Oh, if only you could get your hands on some! However, once you actually obtain iron -- at great personal risk, of course -- everyone will dismiss it as yesterday's news and instead start talking about some even more fantastically rare metal, such as gold. Repeat until you get to the metal after "mythril" (see The Ultimate Rule.)


Not this time around.

146. ) Seventh Inning Stretch (Elc Rule)
At some point in the game the main hero will receive a deadly story-driven injury and will be put in a hospital instead of having a mage heal him. This will leave him out of commission for at least the length of two sidequests; the female lead will also be temporarily out of commission as she steadfastly refuses to leave the hero's side. Ultimately a simple vision quest is all that will be required to bring the hero back to normal.


Not this time. Agate isn't out of commission for long, and all he needs is some bedrest. Anyone else who leaves the party does so for non-injury related reasons.

147. ) Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.


Nope. Even early spells remain useful, because of either lower cast time or the fact that higher level attack spells don't add much more damage, just larger areas of effect or possible status inflicts.

148. ) Gender Equality, Part 1 (Feena Rule)
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.


This manages to get avoided- it actually takes the combined efforts of three endgame bosses to subdue Estelle, and she breaks out of her imprisonment on her own.

149. ) Gender Equality, Part 2 (Tifa Rule)
If any female character, in a burst of anger or enthusiasm, decides to go off and accomplish something on her own without the hero, she will fail miserably and again have to be rescued.


Nope. In fact, Agate is the only one who does this, and he has to be rescued by another female character, and Joshua eventually admits that his plan to sabotage the Glorious on his own probably wouldn't have worked.

150. ) Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)
All of the effort you put into maxing out the female lead's statistics and special abilities will turn out to be for naught when she spends the final confrontation with the villain dead, ensorcelled, or held hostage.


Doesn't apply, since Estelle is the game's main character. She's not sitting this out.

151. ) Gender Equality Addendum (Rynn Rule)
In the unlikely event that the main character of the game is female, she will not be involved in any romantic subplot whatsoever beyond getting hit on by shopkeepers.


Ha ha ha so much no.

152. ) Stealing The Spotlight (Edea Rule)
The characters who join your party only briefly tend to be much cooler than your regular party members.


Not really. Kurt and Anelace are pretty good, but they're not strictly better than your regular party members, especially not Joshua, Zane, and Estelle.

153. ) "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."


Nope. The defeated status in battle is explicitly called K.O., the game's equivalent of MP is actually a unit of scientific measure, and characters that are killed tend to be disposed of through unusual means.

154. ) Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.


Nope. They're found in chests or shops, like Aidios intended.

155. ) Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.


Nope. The Aureole isn't inherently evil, and it's not even clear whether it's possible to destroy it.

156. ) Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.


Nope. You can be a bad guy or a cool guy, but you can't be both.

157. ) Doomed Utopia Theorem (Law of Zeal)
All seemingly ideal, utopian societies are powered by some dark force and are therefore doomed to swift, flashy destruction.


Not this time. In fact, the Aureole was slowly killing them with kindness.

158. ) Party Guidance Rule
Somewhere in the last third of the story, the hero will make a stupid decision and the rest of the party must remind him of all that they have learned from being with him in order to return the hero to normal.


Doesn't apply here.

159. ) Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...


Not this time.

160. ) Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...


Not this time. Father Kevin may lie about almost every detail about himself, but he's still on your side, and Colonel Richard isn't a bad guy- he's also being manipulated.

161. ) General Leo's Exception
Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...


Yeah, this is pretty much Löwe.

162. ) The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
No matter how tough one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him.


Nope. Nobody defeats Löwe easily.

163. ) All The Time In The World (Rinoa Rule)
Unless there's a running countdown clock right there on the screen, you have as long as you want to complete any task -- such as, say, rescuing a friend who's hanging by one hand from a slippery cliff edge thousands of feet in the air -- no matter how incredibly urgent it is. Dawdle or hurry as you will, you'll always make it just in the nick of time.


Not really- sidequests actually get closed off once something actually urgent is in the offing, so you have no choice but to go and do the thing.

164.) Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.


Not this, sorry.

165. ) Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, arduous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.


Nope. Joshua's redemption comes from a more mundane source, plus it actually is a pretty huge deal through the rest of the game.

166. ) Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permanently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...


Amazingly, this manages to not apply.

167. ) The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.


See above.


168. ) Way To Go, Serge
It will eventually turn out that, for a minimum of the first sixty percent of the game, you were actually being manipulated by the forces of evil into doing their sinister bidding for them. In extreme cases this may go as high as 90%. The clear implication is that it would have been better to not get involved in the first place.


Nope. Weissman is manipulating many people, but the party isn't among them.

169. ) Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.


Yep. But Joshua is in the particularly insidious state of not even knowing he has amnesia.

170. ) Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.


Not here. There's no chance, since Joshua's parents are dead.

171. ) World of Mild Inconvenience
The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other large-scale disaster that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that a few party members may become lost and you can find them later.


Nope. the disaster is not lethal, but it does have in-game effects on the character's performance for one of the SC's chapters.

172. ) Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.


Not in this game!

173. ) Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.


See above.

174. ) Flow of Goods Rule
The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the town you start in has a huge thriving economy and is the center of world trade, it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.


Yeah, pretty much. It does help that the best equipment at the end of the first game is in the capital of Liberl, and that the best buyable equipment at the end of SC is produced by the finest minds and engineers in the country.

175. ) Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.


Yep, though sometimes doors locked in the first game are only unlocked in SC.

176. ) "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
If the villain needs all ten legendary medallions to attain world domination and you have nine of them, everybody in your party still thinks it is necessary to bring the nine to the villain's castle and get the final one, instead of hiding the ones they've already got and spoiling his plans that way. After you foolishly bring the legendary medallions to the villain's hideout, he will kidnap one of your companions (usually the main love interest) and you will trade the world away to rescue your friend.


Not this time. Weissman has all the tools he needs already, or can make them himself, or has other people who can make them for him.

177. ) Dark Helmet's Corollary
After you give up the medallions to save your friend/parent/lover/other miscellaneous party member, don't expect to actually get that person back. Sucker!


See above.

178. ) It's Not My Department, Says Wernher Von Braun
All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or crash violently to earth before the end of the game.


Yep.

179. ) The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.


Nope on two counts. Weissman's plan has only been in process for ten years, and it took the combined schemes of one of the greatest adventurers ever known, one of the leading members of one of the most powerful organizations in the Septian Church, the princess of Liberl, and a prince of Erebonia to put one over one Weissman.

180. ) Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.


Nope. Things are still intact.

181. ) Poetic Villain Principle (Kefka Rule)
All villains will suddenly become poets, philosophers, and/or dramatic actors when a) they first meet the hero, b) they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready, c) some major event in the game is about to begin, d) right before the final battle, and e) right before they die, when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it.


Not really. The only real philosophy villain is Löwe, and he stops being a villain because Estelle and Joshua are actually able to give him the answer he's looking for. Weissman is more of a social scientist.

182. ) Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.


Not really. Falcom took some real care with this one.

183. ) Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


Yep, but you aren't really known as legendary heroes yet, and only one government is officially behind you.

184. ) Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.


Nope.

185. ) The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.


Nope. Of the seven main villains, two die, two escape to cause trouble in later games in the series, and three leave Ouroboros but don't actually join the heroes.

186. ) Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.


Nope. When urgent situations come up, sidequests tend to get cancelled.

187. ) "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.


Hello, Weissman.

188. ) In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.


Hello again, Weissman.

189. ) The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.


Nope, because Weissman is not a prettyboy.

190. ) Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.


Nope. The mandatory boss fights are the hardest ones in the game, often by leaps and bounds.

191. ) The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.


Not this time.

192. ) Know Your Audience (Vyse Rule)
Every woman in the game will find the male lead incredibly attractive.


Yep. But in Joshua's case, it's not always just the ladies...

------------------------

Okay, for the final count, it's-

Yes: 41
No: 151.

...Wow. Even though Falcom is usually the master of the standard plot, it seems they went just a bit beyond for Trails in the Sky.


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