Phantasy Star: Fringes of Algo

Silver_Surfer1 wrote:Looking forward to more of the story.

Due to issues with converting the formatting to BBCode, Hacking is currently only at the Cave. I'm still trying to think of a way to work around the issue.

Fascinating "account" of not only Rika's genesis, but of the events leading up to the bio-monster attacks in PSIV. The technical details are fun and, once you figure out where the story is going, it's kind of fun to read.

Alright, done with THAT one (I think I'm up to date on your Fringes-posted stories). I enjoyed the interactions between SEED and Rika about clothing and SEED's inability to contact Wren came across as being appropriately ominous, especially considering what ended up being found on the other satellite.

It gives a sense of closure to the "series". The best thing is the relationship between Seed and Rika. Obviously Rika is not mature enough to perform the duties Seed demands from her, causing some parental frustration. That must be the reason why Rika doesn't do any significant hacking in PSIV. (Or because the security levels she breached where ridiculous easy. How could a powerful system like Seed be breached by a ridiculous SQL injection?)

Now, not wanting to steal your red pain, I just want to point out that you should be more careful with verb tenses. Using the present tense is already a difficult feature for English readers, so you must take extra care to follow the rules. Sometimes you mix present and past perfect in the same tense, for example, and it doesn't sound right.

tilinelson2 wrote:It gives a sense of closure to the "series".

There is one more left that's already waiting for approval at the Cave (They get at least 24 hours of exclusivity before my stories go anywhere else because I HATE working with BBCode and formatted text), and I haven't decided how far into PSIV I'll follow it- got a few ideas off the horizon yet, but no idea where or when.

tilinelson2 wrote:(Or because the security levels she breached where ridiculous easy. How could a powerful system like Seed be breached by a ridiculous SQL injection?)

That's about the extent of my hacking abilities, myself. But it is just a training thing, though.

tilinelson2 wrote:Now, not wanting to steal your red pain, I just want to point out that you should be more careful with verb tenses.

Yeah, this one is a bit under-processed. Gun's right there, go ahead and shoot a few ink rounds if you want- some situations do use mixed-tense for logic purposes, but I probably missed something.

I find it interesting that other people seem to derive more meaning from the stories I write than I do... I'll chalk that up as a good thing.