Reviews of Test Flight

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Re: Reviews of Test Flight

Postby H-Man » Sun Apr 17, '11, 10:02 pm

You're work stands as a good template on incorporating science into fan fiction.
*H-Man as Chaz, looks at Rika, aka Paula* Chaz-Man- "Hey, I've been wandering around Motavia for quite a while with you now. It says in that weird blue box up there that one more battle with a sandworm and we can level up to husband and wife!"

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Re: Reviews of Test Flight

Postby Aeroprism » Fri Apr 29, '11, 7:23 pm

I have just read this.

The geek in me giggles like a preteen girl at her first Justin Bieber concert. Very fun read. Very.

The writer in me, however, frowns so badly that his eyebrows are touching his mustache. What was the purpose of the copilot again, besides being a pointless victim of the maniacal Wren? And more importantly: At first, I kept asking myself "Why the [censored] would they shoot missiles at a test flight?? Then I remembered: because space flight is still forbidden by Motherbrain. If this is the case, how exactly was a corporation able to build a ship and recruit pilots without any snags?

Anyways, fun read. Very very dynamic, very alive.
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Re: Reviews of Test Flight

Postby carlsojos » Fri Apr 29, '11, 7:38 pm

Aeroprism wrote:What was the purpose of the copilot again, besides being a pointless victim of the maniacal Wren?

Given that I can't honestly expect a reader to know how to fly a spaceship (no training), I went ahead and let you ride along anyway- the objective was to make the reader a character in the story, which the jury's still out on whether I failed or not.

Aeroprism wrote:At first, I kept asking myself "Why the [censored] would they shoot missiles at a test flight?? Then I remembered: because space flight is still forbidden by Motherbrain.

Unfortunately, the missile didn't hit, otherwise you would've seen that it was a training warhead. The USAF normally doesn't fire training missiles since they have that miniature jet used in a James Bond movie to simulate it instead(It's a lot cheaper since the jet's owner enjoys flying it with them), but they do exist, and I think that it's in the nature of most of those pilots to play with each other to keep their skills sharp.

As for Mother Brain's ban on spaceflight... you're getting a little ahead of the plot, so I'm not gonna say how that comes into play, but I would remind you that it was enacted after the crash that orphaned Rolf, so it's only about 10 years old when PSII began.
In some stories, the princess is her own hero....
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Re: Reviews of Test Flight

Postby Aeroprism » Fri Apr 29, '11, 7:41 pm

Oh you succeeded all right. I felt there! I really did! I just didn't understand why I was there, as a copilot.


As for the rest of the explanations: gotcha, makes 100% sense.

Exploring the technological aspects of PS: Win. Really.
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