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 Post subject: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Thu Apr 7, '11, 9:14 pm 
Hello,

You may use this topic to share your thoughts regarding Closure by H-Man. When reviewing, try to go into detail about what you enjoy or feel could be improved in Closure. Both praise and constructive criticism intended to help H-Man in future endeavors are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive comments.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Closure. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Fringes of Algo Staff


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Fri Apr 8, '11, 2:21 am 
I like very much the message of the story. If you pay attention, this is a recurring message in my fanfics: "forget about what is part of the past, you can't change it. Bury the Hatchet and do your best from now on".

Quite nicely written. Very beautiful, indeed. I´d just advise you to proofread it again, as I noticed some small mistakes here and there.


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Fri Apr 8, '11, 8:21 am 
A good read and an interesting story. I agree with tilinelson2's thoughts on the message of the story regarding not being able to change the past and not dwelling on it, etc., and would also say that it's a good reminder for us to try and watch the things we say and how we say them in the present times as words are a powerful tool and can have an awesome affect (sometimes good, sometimes bad) on people, especially those close to us.

I also noticed a few little areas that could use more proofreading in the story.

Very entertaining reading, and a good message too.


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Fri Apr 8, '11, 12:11 pm 
Okay, edited and re-posted. Thanks for the reviews!


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Fri Apr 8, '11, 1:51 pm 
Aw, this one was sad. It was good to see a glimpse of Sari's life growing up and her relationship with Lena, as these things are glossed over in the game. I can see her as an obnoxious, bratty teenager. :D I agree with the others in that there was a good message here, and a reminder to "never go to bed angry", as some people say.


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Closure
PostPosted: Fri Apr 8, '11, 3:23 pm 
I spotted one minor error in my read-through.
"her undergarments will quite short" I'd replace "will" with "were"

Beyond that, interesting story, and has a moral to it. Good read.


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