Phantasy Star: Fringes of Algo

Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Zero Hour by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Zero Hour. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul

Interesting. It mixes different PS worlds. The idea is a bit crazy, but I´m fond of crazy ideas

Good story, Snorb! Interesting seeing the evil plans thwarted and the tables turned, so to speak.

Good writing. Friends...enemies, sometimes you just can't tell them apart.

Very interesting! I am choosing to ignore the headache of "altering past events changes the future so the people in the future can't go back and change past events" because it will make me dizzy and I just prefer to sit back and enjoy the ride.

LaShiec (Lassic in my world ) was very well-written here, the perfect mix of evil and frantic frustration (when his plans aren't going well). I'm glad Iria not only thwarted the plans in the palace, but with the doctors as well.

I'm glad everyone's enjoying Zero Hour so far! ^_^

A quick observation to make before I go on with the story, that may or may not help: This is intended to be similar to the recent Star Trek movie, in that one change made way back when creates an entirely new future. Don't worry- Alisa Landale still killed LaShiec, Rolf Eushys and his companions destroyed Mother Brain, Rhys Landen's Grandson saved the people of Alisa III, Chaz Ashleigh ended the Profound Darkness once and for all, and his great-great-(...)-great-granddaughter Iria destroyed Dark Force at the cost of Rico Tyrell's life. PSI~IV and PSOnline still happened, as far as Iria's concerned. She just has no way of getting back to the AW 3084 she knows because her 3084 was kinda reliant on LaShiec not getting shot repeatedly millennia prior.

And just like every other time travel story, going back in time to fix one problem is, of course, going to lead to its own inherent snowballing later on (around the time Alisa turns seventeen, cough cough)

(And yes, Iria's intended to be my imagining of Phantasy Star Online's protagonist assuming I ever get around to playing it. =p)

Interesting story, you've basically taken the standard story I know about, lit it on fire, flushed it down the toilet, and brought in a small change that's virtually guaranteed to grow a gripping story. You've caught my attention, and I'll be watching for future installments.