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PostPosted: Fri Nov 5, '10, 10:32 am 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of The Fate of Lau Shek by H-Man. You may use this topic to let H-Man know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of The Fate of Lau Shek. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 6, '10, 7:08 pm 
Very interesting reunion between old friends. Looking forward to what tomorrow brings, and more of the story. :)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 9, '10, 3:11 am 
Good story with lots of action and use of weapons, etc. I'm wondering just who the hidden person really is. My curiosity is up. Great ending as you've left us wanting to know more of the story and what happens next.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, '10, 8:02 am 
Finally finished reading the whole story! Wow, that was exciting and some hard fought battles! Interesting techniques and strategies throughout. I think my favorite part of the battle was the part with Cha-Zi...awesome! The identity of the stranger/harpist was a sweet discovery, in more ways than one, lol. Excellent story and very well written. The pace was kept moving throughout the entire story, and lots of action to boot! :)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, '10, 11:08 am 
Thanks for your reviews, SS1. I'm glad you like my style of action writing. I'll be working on an original story project, but who knows if I won't re-visit the world of Corg and company during the meantime. Thanks again for your support!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, '10, 11:25 pm 
The pleasure is all mine, H-Man! I enjoy reading all your stories, and well, you know how much I like Corg & friends. :wink: You write it, I'll read it. :yes: Best of luck with your upcoming projects. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, '10, 2:43 pm 
Alright, it's about time isn't it?


So part 1. Very nicely written as I've come to expect from your PS IV stuff. You did a good job of easing from opening the chapter to the first dialogue. Your dialogue is great too. The descriptiveness is brief but gives the full picture at the same time, something that's not always easy to do in some cases.
As for the story itself, well it's off to a good start. Li Si has arrived at the inn, bringing all the other characters together from their respective stories.


Part 2 follows on nicely from part 1. Now that everyone's assembled it's time to find out more about exactly what it is they're going up against. I was quite keen to see exactly how you were going to be representing Lassic in this story, seeing how he'd had little mention before now. For someone who was, in my opinion, one of the more infuriating bosses in the series (He'd either barely scratch you or he'd slaughter you) you've found a good way to make someone who is the Emperor, which in this setting is someone who can generally kill someone by so much as farting in their general direction, appear as the big bad guy.


Part 3. Preparations for battle continue now, this time with the introduction of Lau-Sheks Generals and Zi-Ou. So now both sides are eesentially assembled, now it's just the matter of seeing how they figure out how to break the God armour technique, the solution to which I think few would have expected. It was certainly a moment for laughing if you caught on to what it was they were all talking about. Plus there was also a cameo by someone who looked an awful lot like Nei. And Ru-Ne is refusing to reveal himself to the others, despite the fact that Li Si is right there. Stubborn jerk. :p


Part 4. Now they've figured out how to win, it's time for some fighting. Li-Si and Kaire have gone running off and Lau-Shek is after them. We'll obviously be getting back to them towards the end, main event and all.

I was always curious to see how Cha-Zi was going to be able to fight again, but then I don't watch all the movies you do so I wouldn't know. You did a good job of it anyway, all that time spent watching those films has paid off. :D

As for favourite parts, the scene with Ri-Ge taking on the other two Generals is in competition with the fight between Ah-Han and Zi-Ou. Plus, you've also given me some ideas, so expect a blue robe clad Rika or Ri-Ge piece to come. ;) You certainly weren't afraid to turn things nasty at this point as she proceeds to almost rip one guy's throat out (way to kick a guy when he's down) and then go for the mega "Ohmygodthat'sgottabloodyhurtlikemad!" factor as she then uses one of her claws to rip the other General's nuts off. Ouch! 0_o

At this point I should probably remind you that the quality of the writing itself hasn't let up. Just an FYI.

Part 5. Now we're getting somewhere. It's time for Han and Zi-Ou to get some attention now and let us see what both of them are capable of, seeing how they've both been kind of in the background until now.
The fighting for this scene was as well written as the others, watching Han getting his butt kicked and almost handed to him on a silver platter by Zi-Ou until we have an "Omg look at this naked picture of your ex." moment before Ru-Ne comes to the rescue and gives Han the chance to go in and nail the sucker once and for all. Revenge is sweet, no? ^^

Part 6. And now the big one. You certainly didn't waste any time on getting things started. I'm actually kind of glad you didn't just pull the same gag as you did with Zi-Ou and have Lau-Shek fall for the nude pictures thing. The alternative was certainly quite funny and I can only imagine Li Si's horror, even if it was to break the God armour technique, when Kaire turned on her and cut her clothes off.

As for the rest. Well I always knew that at least one character was going to be killed off, but it did kind of surprise me that it was Han of all of them. But then at least he managed to get revenge for Saya's death before giving up the ghost.

And then, in a way I assume is true to the setting you've based it on, Ru-Ne shows up and is finally revealed to Li Si. And so that's it. Lau-Shek and his lackeys are all deaded now, scores settled and so on.

part 7. A good epilogue, brief and wrapping things up after the fighting is over as they tend to do. Cha-Zi and Ri-Ge have gone off to find Grizu and Raja to continue their training, handing over Li Si's weapons weapons and her note.
Li Si and Ru-Ne have restarted the Hunters Guild and have already got their first job from none other than the two missing members of the PS IV cast, Firenze and Demi. That's Wren and Demi respectively. :p
And Kaire is continuing to run her inn as a new spangly hotel. Also showing us here that Han and Saya are happily reunited in the afterlife.

And that's it. One review of your fiction as requested and promised, H-Man. :) I finally had time for it, even though the time I spent writing for Flynn and Claire could easily have been used for it weeks ago. >.>

Can I go now. :P


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 6, '11, 11:45 pm 
Okay, I'm finally caught up with the whole series!

The battle scenes were really well done. I could tell exactly who was doing what and where and when and it was all very believable. The pairing of Alys and Kyra as the main heroines taking on the final "boss" is a unique choice and I enjoyed them very much. I kind of had a feeling who the mysterious harpist helping them out would be, it's good to be right every now and then. :wink:

Hahn "reuniting" with Saya at the end was a nice touch, even though it's not a typical "happy ending".


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