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 Post subject: Reviews of Old Friends
PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, '10, 6:10 pm 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Old Friends by tilinelson2. You may use this topic to let tilinelson2 know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Old Friends. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, '10, 12:05 am 
Egads, a reunion of ole folks! Never suspected that with our Phantasy Star people as they always look so young, but it was a very good story. Kinda sad, but then life can be that way at this age or any age for that matter.

Any other PS reunions coming soon?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, '10, 9:05 am 
Aww, this is so sweet and touching. I was almost crying at the end myself! To think that all those years Kain kept his feelings about Nei bottled up, wow. That must have been hard. Everyone is well in-character here, and it's actually neat to imagine the PSII characters at such an old age. This was a very neat glimpse into a possible future. Good job!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, '10, 3:32 pm 
That was a pretty sweet little story. There are few typos and mistakes, but as someone whose first language isn't English, you made valiant attempt to simulate Kain's style of talk. Tally ho!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, '11, 8:16 pm 
I agree, this is a great touching story. I can't recall ever seeing a look at the characters this late in their lives. It's nice to get an idea of how things might have gone if they group didn't stay together. I feel sad for them, especially Kain. But in a way, I'm even more sad for Rolf. Without realizing what he was doing, Rolf just drove off one of his old friends, who he might never see again now.

As far as typos or such, the only thing that stood out to me was one sentence in the second paragraph: The man seated finds it strange that the unknown old man is looking at him and stares him inquisitively. I think that would read better as "stares at him"; it knocked me out of the flow for a moment.

Also, I think you might have gone a little too heavy on Kain's speech pattern. His speech is a hard thing to nail down and I agree with H-Man that you did do an excellent job considering English is not your first language. I just had to read some of Kain's lines two or three times to decipher what he was trying to say.


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