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PostPosted: Tue Mar 9, '10, 7:49 pm 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Whatever lies on the depths of her soul, the fan fiction by tilinelson2. You may use this topic to let tilinelson2 know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Whatever lies on the depths of her soul. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, '10, 2:42 am 
I'll start off by saying that if English isn't your native language (I think you mentioned that in your other review thread), you're doing an incredibly good job writing in English. I'm impressed.

Your story is fascinating. The interactions are wonderfully written; it's hinted in the Phantasy Star compendium that Anna grows close to Rolf based on similar life circumstances. I'm glad you've touched on their relationship, whatever it might end up being, in your story. I hope you'll write more!

I think your title would make more sense if it was changed just a bit to something like, "What Lies in the Depths of Her Soul." I think "in" is the preposition you're looking for. You also used "his twin" when referring to Nei/Neifirst. Did you mean "her twin"?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, '10, 11:31 pm 
Tanith wrote:I'll start off by saying that if English isn't your native language (I think you mentioned that in your other review thread), you're doing an incredibly good job writing in English. I'm impressed.

Your story is fascinating. The interactions are wonderfully written; it's hinted in the Phantasy Star compendium that Anna grows close to Rolf based on similar life circumstances. I'm glad you've touched on their relationship, whatever it might end up being, in your story. I hope you'll write more!

I think your title would make more sense if it was changed just a bit to something like, "What Lies in the Depths of Her Soul." I think "in" is the preposition you're looking for. You also used "his twin" when referring to Nei/Neifirst. Did you mean "her twin"?


Thanks for you output. I´ll correct the mistakes. Though I reviewed, you know, there is always something that falls our quality control :p

I always thought about Anna in a special only (not because she is gorgeous :p) because she was kinda mysterious and must have deeper reasons than the other women to join the group. As it was implied that she was closer to Rolf than the others, because of their similar past, this story came to my mind. I don't know if I will keep writing this fanfic or end it here, because when I started building up the story, my ideas flowed well up to this point. If new ideas come, I will continue the story.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, '10, 3:45 pm 
Enjoyable story. I did like that bit at the end about her biggest foe being herself as it seems to define the best characters (those who have to overcome inner demons in order to defeat an external one). It's a good companion piece to Tanith's story about the same piece of story (a character's reaction to Nei's death).


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