Episode III: It's All Fun and Games, Unless You're Joshua Kain
Five hundred Meseta... lessee, Kain thought as he walked up to a change machine in Jenx South's arcade. Twenty-five a pop... that oughta be about twenty credits. Ah don't think Ah'll need more than halffa that. Two two hundreds an' a hundred... why don't banks issue anythin' higher?
The machine whirred as it accepted the banknotes from Kain, depositing quarters into a chest-level niche. Kain eagerly scooped up the quarters and shuffled back over to the Dynamite Duke machine.
"All right," he said as he inserted a coin. "Here's yer twenty-five Meseta, now time t' unleash the Kain!" Kain cracked his knuckles, then gripped the game's joystick. "All right, let's do this! Fight One, Automobili Monstertruckini, Mister Referee Sonic, round one FIGHT! Here we go, an'- what the @%#&?!"
Almost immediately after Sonic rolled out of the boxing ring, Automobili Monstertruckini bodily charged Kain's boxer, hitting him with a highly illegal body slam. The boxer was sent over the ropes before he collapsed by the ring apron, groaning in agony as his stamina meter quickly diminished.
"C'mon, you sonofagun," Kain grumbled as he flailed frantically at the joystick and punch buttons. "Rope break, Sonic! Pay attention to th' fight, an' not Amy Rose! There's only one Amy worth oglin' round these parts, an' her last name's Sawwww, c'MON!"
No sooner had Kain's boxer climbed back into the ring (rather asymmetrically, at that), Automobili swung at him with a mighty hook, smashing the boxer in the side of the head. The fists continued to fly, and repeated blows to the head finally knocked Small Rob to the canvas. Kain started screaming incoherently at the arcade machine, audibly questioning the chastity of Sonic the Hedgehog's mother as he rolled into the ring to count out Kain's very unconscious boxer.
"*skiid-id* Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten KO!"
And once again, the bell rung. Automobili Monstertruckini started laughing, pointing his boxing gloved fist at Kain, all the while "YOU SUCK" flashed on the screen in color-changing letters. Kain's eye twitched involuntarily, his hand already in his bathing suit's pocket.
"Oh, where Ah come from, we take that as a personal challenge," Kain said as he put another quarter into the game. "Ah suck? No, YOU suck. Yer gonna eat canvas an' crap boxing gloves, Automobili!"
-=-=-
The boardwalk's rides, Rolf realized after Shir dragged him over to them, cost tickets to queue up and enjoy. Said tickets, he continued to think, cost money to buy.
And at that very moment, Shir had his wallet. The green-haired thief chuckled to herself as she counted out Rolf's money to herself, then said to him, "Hey, Rolf, you know this Uzobooks gift card's gonna expire in a couple of weeks, right?"
"I have a gift card?" Rolf asked himself, then another realization came to him. "Oh, that. Shelly gave me that for my last birthday. I should go use that..."
"Too late- manga for Shir. ^_^" Shir tucked the gift card into her bikini, then continued rifling through Rolf's wallet. "Firearms license, Agent of Motavia ID card, a drivers' license with a really goofy picture of you-"
"I thought a mustache would look great!"
"Naah, you look better clean-shaven. Now, where was I? 24-Seven receipt... and a few thousand Meseta, all rearranged by me, fives and tens first!"
Rolf sweatdropped as Shir closed his wallet, her ever-present mischievous smirk on her face. After a second of awkward silence, Rolf asked, "Shir? Can I have my wallet back, please?"
"So, we're not going on the rides?" Shir replied. "Looks like someone isn't getting his wallet back, then."
"Shir, really. Can I have my wallet back?"
"Well, if you really want it back..."
Shir tucked the wallet into the waistband of her bikini, deliberately adjusting it so that the wallet's corner was just under her belly button. Crossing her arms, she finished, "Come and get it, Rolf!"
"Oh, God."
The two just stood as the crowd passed around them, locked in their battle of wills. Finally, Rolf sighed and said, "All right, we can hit a few rides, Shir."
"Great! But you're still not getting this back."
"Shir..."
"If you want your wallet back, then take it back, Rolf!" Shir repeated, smiling at her friend, enjoying the blue-haired man's momentary discomfort as he slowly reached for his wallet. Finally, after a few agonizingly long seconds of Rolf's hand hovering uncertainly between them, Shir took his wrist and moved his hand closer. "There you go," she told him. "Halfway done."
Rolf's face turned red, and his hand started shaking as he gripped his wallet. Holy crap, he thought as his knuckles brushed up against Shir's stomach, her skin's soft. Gyaah! Stop thinking and just grab your wallet!
"Having trouble, Rolf?" he heard Shir tease. "Maybe I can give you a hand."
"Nononono no trouble at all!" Rolf, calm down and just take your wallet back. Try not to think about Shir's bikini, or oh crap why did you think of that?! Don't look at her belly button, just your wallet. Wallet wallet wallet navel damn it!
"Yep. It's a belly button," Shir continued, noticing Rolf's near-hysterical gaze. "Everyone's got one."
Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! Take your wallet, Rolf, quickly! Quick!
After what seemed like forever for him, Rolf retrieved his wallet, hastily tucking it back into his pocket. Looking visibly relieved, he blurted out, "So... rides?"
"You all right, Rolf?" Shir asked, knowing damned well what the answer to her question would be.
"Yeah! Fine! Nothing to it!" Rolf replied, trying to mask his nervous breathing. "Nothing a few rides can't take care of!"
"Glad to hear it! And guess what, Rolf?! It's the best time of the month- Wristband Day!" Taking Rolf's hands, Shir continued, "Fifteen hundred Meseta gets us all the rides we want, all day! Much better than me stealing a lot of tickets, isn't it?!"
"Uh-"
Before Rolf could finish his sentence, Shir closed a bright orange plastic wristband around his wrist. Holding up her wrist, around which there was a matching wristband, Shir finished, "I already bought the wristbands before we met up- weren't expecting that, were you?"
"You had this planned from the start, didn't you."
"Yep! Just like I said before, Rolf- just like when we were kids! The Tilt-O-Whirrrrrl line's really short, so let's go on that one first!"
Before Rolf could offer an opinion, Shir took his hand and started tugging him towards the ride. This time, Rolf wasn't resisting the forced movements, going along with Shir.
Just like when we were kids, he thought. Now, if we wind up in that same car from years ago... what will Shir say? What will I say?
-=-=-
"Rifles?! Rudo, you have got to be kidding me!"
Grinning like an over-eager child, Rudo nudged Anna over to the game booth. "It's simple," he said. "Get the gun, and maybe a simple Presidente drill: First target once, second once, third target-"
"I was in the military, I know what a Presidente drill is, I'm just not very good with guns," Anna replied, her voice a combination of irritation and nervousness. "They're so... impersonal."
"And boomerangs aren't?"
"You have to get up close to your target with a boomerang- look it in the eyes, silently imparting your will on it: 'You must die, so that I may live.' With a gun, it's just zot- you're dead. Zang zap, headshot, double kill. Rat-a-tat-tat, everyone dies." Anna adjusted her sunglasses to rest on her forehead, glancing at Rudo as she continued, "Almost any idiot in this day and age can fire one."
"I don't see you firing one."
"I went first at the ring toss," the blonde woman groused. "Your area of expertise, the shooting gallery, so you go first, Rudo."
Rudo stepped up to the small shooting gallery, dropping some Meseta into a coin slot near a rifle. "Infrared," he explained as he shouldered the rifle. "Not a real laser, so nobody gets hurt."
"Even still, watch where you're aiming that damn thing," Anna replied. "Sometimes you're just as bad as Kain."
Inside the gallery, a large array of pinwheels, coffee cups, beer and wine bottles, soda cans, beer steins, computer floppy disks, clay pipes, and ornamental shields were set up on conveyors, designed to dart in and out of Rudo's sights as he took aim. Lining his first shot up on a bottle, the large man grinned.
With a tinny "Bang!" the bottle fell down, and the conveyors started into motion. The targets darted back and forth, some slow, some fast, and with each shot, Rudo managed to down the ornaments. Cups, cans, and bottles fell as pinwheels turned, reacting to Rudo's rifle skill. After about a minute, the conveyors wound down, and a display above the gallery displayed a point total.
"Thirty-five thousand," Anna said, approaching the booth. "Not too bad."
"Pretty damned good," Rudo corrected. "Up for a challenge?"
"Always." Anna dropped a coin into the game's coin slot, then took up the rifle. Frowning, she added, "It's a bit heavy."
"You'll get used to it. Just take your time, and-"
Anna squeezed the trigger, barely missing a shield as it whizzed past her scope. She missed a few more targets, but managed to land a few hits as the shooting gallery's targets eventually wound to a halt. As she looked at her own score, Anna frowned, remembering Rudo's.
"Damn it. Seventeen thousand," Anna said. "I'd have twice that if I had a slasher."
"You'd be hitting everything if you had a slasher," Rudo replied. He waited while Anna put the rifle back in its slot, then told her, "All right, so I'm bad with thrown weapons, and you're bad with guns. Not a fair contest."
"We need something that tests us both," Anna realized. "Distance, skill, and control."
"Something that involves small targets."
Immediately, both Anna and Rudo looked at each other, coming to the same conclusion: "Miniature golf!"
-=-=-
In the few years Hugh had known her, Amy had always displayed a bit of a sweet tooth. The red-haired doctor's love for baked treats became obvious last year during their fight against Mother Brain; Anna and Shir, left at Rolf's house to make gear for the group, instead wound up making a variety of cakes and pastries.
As she looked at her paper plate, loaded down with funnel cake, Amy asked, "Remember that Naula shortcake Anna and Miss Gold made last year? This tastes just like it."
"Oh, that was good," Hugh replied, smiling at the taste of the cake. "I didn't know they knew how to bake."
"They're full of surprises." Taking a bite of funnel cake, Amy sighed happily, licking some powdered sugar from her lips. "Remember how Miss Gold said 'Taste this!' and just shoved a piece into Rolf's mouth?"
"That, and Rudo eating half a cheesecake Anna made," Hugh remembered. "He couldn't eat anything else for two days."
"We did warn him."
As they walked, Hugh suddenly clutched Amy's hand. "Hang on a second, Amy," he said, moving over to a stand on the boardwalk. "I'll be right back."
Hugh disappeared into the growing crowd on the boardwalk, and Amy followed him as best as she could, adjusting her hat to block some of the sunlight. After about a minute, Hugh returned with two large plastic cups, each one filled with pink liquid.
"We should sit down," he urged, trying to balance the cups and his own piece of funnel cake. "Don't want to drop these..."
"Here, let me help... there." Amy took one of the cups, allowing Hugh to get a better grip on his cake. "I think there's a bench right over there," she continued.
The two headed over, dodging around everybody on the boardwalk as best as they could, finally managing to reach the bench. Once they sat down, Hugh said, "I bet there's a better view when it's closer to sunset."
"It's still a great view, isn't it?" Amy replied, taking a sip from her cup. "Oh! Lemonade!"
"Yep! And guess what else?" Hugh tapped the top of the cup, pointing out several pieces of red fruit floating in the lemonade, their juice adding to the drink's flavor.
"Strawberries! Wonderful!" Amy's eyes started becoming starry as she continued, "My favorite fruit! You're wonderful, Hugh!"
"No trouble at all," Hugh replied. Watching her take another slow sip, he thought, Because that smile's all I need.
They were in no hurry to rush their makeshift breakfast, a fact made obvious as they leaned close to each other on the bench- sharing pieces of funnel cake and sips of lemonade, Hugh supporting Amy while her hat provided some shade. She sighed happily as she watched the ocean, leaning on Hugh's shoulder. "I've never seen one of those before," she suddenly said, pointing to a white blob on the water's surface. "Not outside of a museum, anyway."
"Huh? Oh, that..." Hugh squinted and leaned forward, trying his best not to disturb Amy with his movement. "Sails... streamers from the top mast... That can only be-"
"A sailboat... It's so nice, isn't it? Mother Brain's not around to ban ocean travel anymore... I hope we see more of them over the years." Smiling, Amy looked up to Hugh, trying to catch his gaze. "They're a lot bigger than that jet scooter Rolf got last year."
"I'd bet they smell better, too," Hugh replied, earning a laugh from Amy. "Y'know, Amy, I've been doing some thinking recently. About the future. About us."
"Oh?" Amy replied, confused. "Hugh, is everything all right?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine, Amy, it's just-"
Before Hugh could finish his thought, he heard a man's voice calling, "Hugh! Hugh!"
* it, Kain! Hugh thought as he heard the familiar voice. I was trying to ask Amy to marry me! Great timing!
Kain skidded to a halt behind the two, gasping and panting for breath. "Hey, Hugh. Miss Amy. Ah've got a bit problem, y'see..."
"Nothing serious, I hope," Amy said, starting to stand up. "You're not hurt, are you?"
"It's not a doctor problem, Miss Amy! Ah needs t'borrow some Meseta!"
Hugh sweatdropped. "What happened to your share from what we all earned last year?" he asked. "Kain, you couldn't have gone through seventy-five thousand Meseta in seven months! ...Could you?"
"Hey, beer ain't free, Hugh. And Ah ain't ready to tap my strip club fund yet."
Amy and Hugh looked to each other for a second, as if trying to consider what to say to Kain, before Amy said, "Well, Mister Kain, if you're not in any legal trouble, we can loan you some money."
"Kain, what's wrong? Is it bad?" Hugh inquired. "Do you need a lawyer?"
"Naaah! Y'see, I'se about to face Frederick Golderassi, t' Billion Meseta Boxer, an' Ah got some kid to watch the game fer me while Ah get more money. Can Ah borrow ten thousand Meseta or so?" And just as he had for Rolf and Shir, Kain stretched his hand out, giving what he thought was a winning grin to Hugh and Amy.
Again, Hugh and Amy looked at each other, sighed mutually, then simultaneously handed Kain money. Happily clutching the Meseta notes to his chest, Kain replied, "Ah knew yew two weren't bad'uns after all! Happy trails- Ah've got a boxing title to win!"
Kain sauntered off, dancing like a madman as his two friends watched. Once he disappeared back into the arcade, Hugh turned to Amy and said, "He's going to go through our money in ten minutes."
"Well, he is very bad at video games," the redhead replied. "Now... Hugh, you were about to tell me something before Mister Kain showed up..."
"Oh, yes..." Taking Amy's hands into his, Hugh sighed, glancing down at the wooden planks that made the boardwalk. He struggled to compose himself for a minute, before bringing Amy's hands to his mouth, giving them a gentle kiss. "Amy, can we talk somewhere a bit more private? If it's all right with you, of course."
Amy blushed, her cheeks as red as her hair for a brief moment, before she replied, "Sure." In a knowing whisper, she added, "(Let's go before one of our friends interrupts us again, Hugh.)"
In their search to find another spot, they passed the arcade Kain had reentered, pausing to watch him as they heard him shout at an arcade game, "Whut!? No, why are you bribin' me?! Small Rob, don't take his money! Noooo! Get back in th' ring, you stupid- back of th' head punch!? Auto knockdown?! Referee Sonic, stop this bullcr- now you're bribin' the referee?! %#&*!"
Next Episode Preview: Nine holes of miniature golf madness for Rudo and Anna, pleasant memories for Rolf and Shir, a moment of contemplation for Hugh and Amy, and even more suffering for Kain!
Kain: Ah hate that hedgehog!
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