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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, '11, 12:03 am 

This topic is for reviews of The Weight of a Satellite by H-Man. You may use this topic to let H-Man know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of The Weight of a Satellite. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.


PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, '11, 1:44 am 
Yay, Aron finally has something to do! And by extension, Alair is more developed, hooray!

I know she's not the primary focus, but I really liked your characterization of Alair here. She doesn't get much in the game itself, other than trying to stop the fighting, and I like how she goes from the general interpretation of being calm and peaceful to nearly slicing off her brother's head (and rightfully so).

So much for Lune mellowing out in this timeline. :p I guess this Kara is lucky she didn't turn out like the other Kara.

My only issue is that after the incident with Lune, Kara didn't say or do anything to convey that she was upset with Aron for any reason. Though I guess I can understand Aron's guilt at not being able to do more, Kara was getting pretty cozy with him afterwards, so the drama and tension between them (even if it was just from Aron's end) didn't feel entirely natural to me.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, '11, 1:46 am 
Good to hear about one of the most unappreciated PS characters. Your description of Aron was really good, mainly his internal conflict about his heritage.

I just considered your drunken Lune too soft. I was expecting he would burn some village to the ground or blow up one satellite. :p
But I loved Alair role. Succinct and majestic. She really deserves more love, not only mine ;)

PostPosted: Fri Apr 1, '11, 9:51 am 
This story has excellent character development all around. It's refreshing to see Lune slipping back into the mindset of being an enemy of the Orakians. His sudden reversal in the game never felt quite believable. Alair is strong and truly acts like a queen. Aron was being a little too hard on himself, but I'm glad Kara set him straight.

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