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PostPosted: Fri Jul 9, '10, 7:27 pm 

This topic is for reviews of The Immortal Realm by H-Man. You may use this topic to let H-Man know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of The Immortal Realm. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.


PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, '10, 6:17 am 
Excellent story! Full of suspense, action, love, and heartbreak. Loved it. :yes: :clap:

PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, '10, 12:20 pm 
Review time! Again, sorry it took so long for me to finish your story.

Great writing, first off. Your descriptions are well-written; I really enjoyed them and got into the characters and their surroundings. I could tell this was crossover fic, but I didn't know with what other series until I got pretty far into the story. Just something you might want to introduce at the beginning, maybe. The dialogue also confused me at first; I wasn't exactly sure who was who during the little chats, but after I got the hang of it I thought it was an interesting way to jump back and forth between the characters. I was disappointed that Sari and Laya didn't get to join in the action, but that's just me. :D The ending was enjoyable: there was hope in the sadness and the rest played out sweetly. Nice job! I look forward to reading your other story, but it might take me a while because of the multi-chapters.

Last edited by Tanith on Thu Jul 15, '10, 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, '10, 4:52 pm 
Thanks for the reviews, Tanith and Silver Surfer. This story is actually the sequel to the other one, which explains (for better or worse) how the characters got where they were. Laya and Sari see more action in that one. Between the impending weddings, the declining sanity of the townspeople, and the appearance of Corg's wife, who really hadn't the foggiest what was going on, it was important for those two to stay behind.

I don't think the first story is as well-written as this one, but it's important for the foundation of the story arc (should you want to call it that).

EDIT: Went back and put all the parallel dialogue in italics, to separate those conversation from the main narrative.

Last edited by H-Man on Thu Jul 15, '10, 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, '10, 5:04 am 
I'm way behind in fan fic reading, but I'm finally starting to get caught up by reading this story. I enjoyed it, though I have to confess I was a bit lost on some parts. That's probably stuff explained in the other story mentioned above, though.

I enjoyed the character interaction and the battle scene. They were both well written. I was sorry to see the death, but that was handled quite well also. Well done, H-Man. :)

PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, '10, 1:39 pm 
Thanks, Thoul. The first story more or less establishes where and how the characters arrived, plus their first big adventure. The third story more or less finishes their story, although in a way that I could still write TONS of material about their adventures afterward, should I want to (which I might just do after I finish my PSIV cycle).

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, '10, 4:30 pm 
It is a very good story. I like the way you switch from the main action and the background talking between the women who stayed behind. The crossover between both worlds is very well written.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, '10, 4:40 pm 
Yeah, I think the D&D:WOTES world is one of those worlds that is open enough that you can more-or-less do what you want with it. Since you create the characters, there's not as much history and characters you necessarily need to reference or include, so it's a lot easier to meld with other RPGs (PSIII in this case).

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