Phantasy Star: Fringes of Algo

Thanks for reading and reviewing my story.

But... how can you say I should chop down bits of my awesome psychological flows?
It is the same as asking Virginia Woolf to chop hers. She would end with only 10 pages/book, though.
The repetition is there on purpose. I know, it is a matter of style. For me, the action is superfluous, the psychological drama is the important part. That is why I spend more time describing Maia's thoughts than her travels and action.

About the captain scene, the purposes were different. The Anna's was to cause trauma on her, the Maia's was just a vehicle Dark Force used to try to spark Maia's hate and show her perfect understand that DF was to blame, not the man. In Anna's case, it was important that she suffered that kind of violence attempt, to make her want distance from people. In Maia's case, any violence would do. It was just that she was destitute of other reasons to be attacked.

I understand it's a matter of style and that the assaults in the two stories have their own purposes. However, in Anna's story, the horrors she goes through in her house come all of a sudden to what appears to be a normal family. It is horrible; we as the reader feel it.

In this story, Maia's suffering starts practically in the prologue and only lets up in the epilogue. We're bombarded with so much of psychological and physical torture that the assault, which comes practically at the tail-end of the six-chapter sequence of Maia suffering, that it lacks the same emotional power, because it seems like "more of the same".