Hi...this is very well done, and very entertaining to read! Good work!
Also, I hope we get to read more of your works in the future.
I know you stated it was a rough draft, however, I did notice a few things that were not clear to me and might be worth mentioning for your consideration, and they are:
In the 4th paragraph..."Lutz: “Rolf, you may have defeated the Mother Brain and saved Palm from exploding your work is still not complete."
(Note: The sentence is not entirely clear..perhaps a word, comma, or something is needed after "exploding" to connect the second half of the sentence.)
In the paragraph: "Spirit1: We are beings from a time long before your universe began. We beings that transcend your multiverse and have created the being from which the Profound Darkness and Great Light split."
(Note: The second sentence is not clear. Perhaps using a verb such as "are" as used in the first sentence .. "we are beings" .. might help.)
In the paragraph: "Spirit2: What caused this split was a powerful energy transcendent of the multiverse that created time loops, for in another timeloop fixing these isn’t necessary, but leftover beings manifest from this energy will ensure a return of the Profound Darkness."
(Note: "manifest" might sound clearer or better as "manifested".)