Reviews of Ripple Effect

Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Ripple Effect, the fan fiction by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Fun in the Sun. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul

Very nice story so far, Snorb! I'm interested to see how it continues. Having Rhys and Maia in Landen is an angle I've never seen explored before. I'm eager to see if Sari and Ayn are any different after being raised closer to the other.

Glad you like it, Thoul!

For the record, every named character from Phantasy Star III is going to be in the story except for four.

All four Second Generation love interests are going to be mentioned in Ayn's travels, and of those four:

One will die by the end of the generation.
One will be corrupted by Dark Force and become a servant of evil.
One will join the Third Generation party in their final desperate struggle.
And, of course, one will become Ayn's wife and queen of Landen.

Which one is which, I leave to you to figure out. =p

"What if I were just a common prostitute, selling my body for Meseta every night?"

"You've been nothing but a skirt-chaser and a shameless flirt for the past few years."

ROTFLMAO. Absolutely epic!

Great story, Snorb! It seems that the Rhys/Maia/Lena triangle has been on more minds than my own lately (Srijita and I are working on some fanfiction together). Though I loathe the Rhys/Maia union, your story is compelling. You write well, and you keep your characters in-character. I was hoping for a twist at the end, admittedly, but the ending was wrapped up rather nicely.

Great job, and I look forward to reading more of your fanfiction.

I love the new chapter. It's great to see some of what happened in Shusoran. I always hated that PSIII completely skipped over those events. I look forward to seeing how Ayn and Sari's adventures in the western domes go. Particularly if they meet up with Ryan... that should be really interesting.

Quote:

"FAILURE TO ABIDE WILL RESULT IN... UNPLEASANTNESS."

Bwahaha! Oh man, I scared the cat laughing at that line!

On a serious note, excellent, excellent story so far, Snorb. The fortune telling in the latest chapter was extremely well written, and as indicated above, I've enjoyed immensely the way you write the cyobrgs/androids/robots/etc. I like the idea of Ryan and Lyle teaming up to rescue Thea as well. May lightning strike me, but your plot twists are much more interesting than the game's.

Glad you're enjoying the story so far, Tanith!

Something of interest about Mito: Besides being named for Phantasy Star IV's fortuneteller, her deck of chaossqua cards is healthily inspired by Dungeons and Dragons' infamous Deck of Many Things. (Except Ayn didn't have any of the really bad stuff happen to him when he drew The Void, Skull, and Ruin. Lucky *%)

I do have Generation 2 and 3 basically plotted out, including the final party to go against Dark Force, but I just have one slight dilemma- should Ayn's group fight Lune or Siren?

Snorb wrote:

I do have Generation 2 and 3 basically plotted out, including the final party to go against Dark Force, but I just have one slight dilemma- should Ayn's group fight Lune or Siren?

Hmm... both? Yeah, that wouldn't really work. Wouldn't it be cool to have a Siren and Lune battle each other, though? Man, this game had so much potential for awesomeness.

Stupid request not meant to be taken seriously: Find a way to incorporate those ridiculous "Floppers." Of all the enemies in the game, those had the most implausible attack (even more than the Clops' "pec flex" move): a series of signs with arrows on them flip over. How is that supposed to hurt anyone? At least the Polebot could slap the group with its hands!

I really liked this story, although I hope that you finish it one of these days. The prose is really good (makes me feel like a hack). The picture you painted of the desperation of the Rhys/Orin battle was fantastic, although admittedly it was a bit spoiled by some unwarranted humor later on in the first chapter. Your action sequences are well-written, too.

Read the latest chapter. Dang, now you got me wanting more! I love how you wrote the dialogue of the androids/robots. Their exchanges were very amusing. The action scenes were also well written. Good stuff.