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 Post subject: Reviews of Prisoners
PostPosted: Thu May 12, '11, 7:19 pm 
Hello,

You may use this topic to share your thoughts regarding Prisoners by augmentedfourth. When reviewing, try to go into detail about what you enjoy or feel could be improved in Prisoners. Both praise and constructive criticism intended to help augmentedfourth in future endeavors are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive comments.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Prisoners. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Fringes of Algo Staff


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Prisoners
PostPosted: Fri May 13, '11, 9:40 am 
Well let's see. For one I haven't read any fictions about Lune so far, bar 'Final Showdown.' But this was a well written possible insight into the life he lived after coming out of cryosleep, what he did and so on.
Plus there's the whole thing with Kara and her mother. Considering Kara's quite an embittered person when you meet her in Sean or Crys' quest, how exactly she came to be that way (or one possible way since it's never explained after all) is always good to see.

And...well I guess that's about that. I'll try and re-read it later so I can be a bit more detailed in the review. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Prisoners
PostPosted: Fri May 13, '11, 1:37 pm 
Well, this wasn't the emotionally-draining experience I had anticipated, although the first chapter is very dark and brutal. The title is especially appropriate, in both the literal (Kara, her mother, and Alair) and figurative terms (Lune). Moreover, the ways in the three women are imprisoned are quite different: Alair can leave Dahlia, but doesn't for fear of becoming a living target (as Lune said); Kara's mother is literally a prisoner and can't even leave the cell she was imprisoned in; and Kara wants to do leave Dahlia, but can't because her father simply won't let her (sort of the middle ground between Alair and her mother).

This is easily the most vile portrayal of Lune I've read so far. From the circumstances leading to Kara's birth to his reactions regarding his not having a son and the fate of his child's mother, there's absolutely on redeeming quality in the man, save the small shred of hope that AugmentedFourth mentioned earlier in the shoutbox. Alisa III will be saved, but whether or not Lune will salvage his life and redeem himself, only time will tell.

Very good story about the extremes that unfettered hatred can drive us to, and how it can make the people who least deserve to suffer do so the most.


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Prisoners
PostPosted: Thu May 19, '11, 5:31 am 
Read all of this story this evening and enjoyed it very much. Wow, Lune was one evil and vile being in this story. You could almost say it served him right by having a daughter, except for the fact that his daughter was made to suffer also. It seemed in some ways that at the end, Lune realized some of his mistakes although by then it was almost too late to do anything about any of them. His sister was brave in trying to straighten him out but to no avail, but atleast she was there to run interference for some of those who felt his sting.

Excellent writing.


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 Post subject: Re: Reviews of Prisoners
PostPosted: Fri May 20, '11, 3:30 am 
Thanks for reading! (I think I caught most of you in the shoutbox or elsewhere ;) ) Yeah, my mind had to go to some pretty dark places a few times, but I'm happy with the end results. I definitely need a lighter project to be next, though!


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