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PostPosted: Mon Aug 2, '10, 12:32 pm 

This topic is for reviews of Hunter in the Fox's Den by H-Man. You may use this topic to let H-Man know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Hunter in the Fox's Den. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.


PostPosted: Mon Aug 2, '10, 8:30 pm 
This is another very good adaption in the style of your previous story, H-Man. I missed Ai Li and Ru-Ne, but I also enjoyed the characters focused in this story. The ending was a bit of a surprise; I'm not sure what to think about the blindness. Are you planning to expand on that in a future story?

PostPosted: Mon Aug 2, '10, 8:37 pm 
The entire arc is going to run about six stories, with the first five each focusing on a few individual characters, and the last one tying the threads together. So don't worry, Ru-Ne and Li-Si will be back, and the ending of this one will also eventually come into play.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 3, '10, 9:29 pm 
That was awesome. Loved it H-Man. Can't wait for the third story. As with what Thoul said, I'm not sure what to think about the blindness either, but I can imagine Cha-zi with cloth around his eyes.

You said Hahn and Saya was next right? Looking forward to it. x3

PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, '10, 8:04 am 
Great story. Loved the costumes or disguise ideas. One bit of advice or "constructive criticism" that I might could offer would be to suggest that you may want to proofread the story again for various typographical errors, etc., as a few times it seemed a word may have been missing from a sentence, etc., or something along those lines. Nothing major but it might help to improve the reading of the story. :) Looking forward to reading the other stories.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, '10, 8:24 am 
All I can say is epic.. Just epic

PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, '10, 1:26 pm 
Silver_Surfer: Yes, that's a recurring theme with my work. I do try to proofread (a lot more than I used to) before posting, although I miss some things and Microsoft spell/grammar check doesn't notice them either. I'll see what I can do to correct this one for future readers.

Thanks for your reviews, everyone!

PostPosted: Thu Sep 2, '10, 10:11 pm 
Well let's see then. Besides the fact that it's a fan fiction centered around my favourite Phantasy Star character it's very well written and a enjoyable piece. Not that I like it purely because of personal preference, that's a bit silly. I'm really starting to get into your chinese themed takes on Phantasy Star. I think it's because you manage to stay true to the characters while placing them in different roles and settings.

Anyway, a sad ending, yes but not all of these things can end completely happily. You're doing an excellent job writing these and as I said already, the uniqueness makes it all the more appealing. Please keep it up. :)

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