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PostPosted: Sun May 1, '11, 8:23 pm 
This entry I made was mainly to introduce most of the reoccurring characters. I'm starting to form a direction in my head and I think I'm up to making another entry soon. =D

PostPosted: Thu May 5, '11, 7:33 am 
Happy to see the story continuing and looking forward to seeing where it all goes. Interesting new characters. :)

PostPosted: Sat May 7, '11, 3:49 am 
Thanks SS, not saying which character, but one of them is based of a friend of mine. =P

PostPosted: Fri Jun 3, '11, 5:31 am 
You've got some interesting characters there. I think you've done a better job introducing them, even so concisely, that some professional writers I've seen. I can see a lot of potential for this, so I look forward to seeing where you take it.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, '11, 1:28 am 
I had some free time and decided to read this story again to refresh it in my mind. It is a very intriguing story and the character of Matt certainly captures your interest with his life story. Looking forward to reading more about him and his life in the future.

I also noticed a few things in the story as written so far that could probably use a bit more proofreading, etc., and I am listing those notations below for your consideration, etc.

Entry 1

In paragraph 1 ..."Mom and dad must have realized this when gave me money to move to Oriam in the apartment building Aunt Linda."

(Note: "when gave me" is missing a subject in the sentence and does not tell who gave...Might sound better as "when they gave me".)

(Note: "in the apartment building Aunt Linda"...did you mean "with" Aunt Linda??)

In paragraph 1 ..."Uncle Martin should be here anytime soon".

(Note: "anytime soon" ....sounds like a contradiction of sorts. Is he coming anytime, or is he coming soon? Clarification might help.)

In paragraph 4 ..."I know if she ever read this she'd beat my to a pulp."

(Note: "my" should probably be "me".)

Entry 2

In paragraph 1..."After breakfast I'm going to head on out to I remember bits and pieces from a few visits as a child, but everything has that new feel to it."

(Note: "head on out to" .... head where?? Part of this sentence seems to be missing, and it seems to run into another sentence also.)

In paragraph 3 ... "That icecream shop was closed down unfortunately, but it was replaced by a Corner Store that sells icecream."

(Note: "icecream" should probably be "ice cream" as it is generally thought of as two words. It is a shortened variation of "iced cream".)

In paragraph 5 ..."Looks are probably better than mine and from what he told me, people treat him with respect."

(Note: Whose looks?? Could be clearer by saying "His looks" or "David's looks"??

In paragraph 5 ..."Though, if David hasn't changed much, than I have a feeling he won't leave me alone."

(Note: "than" should probably be "then".


PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, '13, 10:11 am 
I guess I didn't see that last review SS, I noticed it myself because I just reread it while I added a new chapter. I need to get back into the mindset of Matt. I've been away from this story for too long, and only remember a bit of what I wanted to do.

As for now, I'll fix up the errors in the future and possibly add more entries.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, '13, 4:45 am 
Wonderful to see you starting this up again Atlin. I have missed Matt's story. Had to read it again from the top to refresh myself with what had already happened. Very interesting so far and looking forward to seeing what happens in the future. Keep up the good writing!! :clap:

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, '13, 7:13 am 
I felt like writing, so I made another entry. I think I'm going to toss all story ideas I have in my head, and just go with the flow. It seems to have worked so far.

PostPosted: Sat May 11, '13, 5:32 pm 
It's great to see another chapter in "Matt's Story" Atlin!! I am very intrigued as to where you are going with this story and hope to see lots more of it soon. Also glad to see that Matt seems to realize it was a wrong decision to try suicide and hopefully realize that there are other alternatives out there to lift one's spirits and give them reason to go on even when life may seem unbearable at times. Looking forward to wherever you take this!! :)

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