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 Post subject: Reviews of Love in Cille
PostPosted: Fri Feb 8, '08, 8:14 am 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Love in Cille, the fan fiction by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Love in Cille. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 8, '08, 4:03 pm 
It was a cute story, but how'd they know about Sari unless they had been to Landen? Unless word got around from dome to dome.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 8, '08, 4:24 pm 
I'm glad you liked the story, Tsunami! ^_^

There was a line in there that Ayn had met Sari once while he and Rhys were on a diplomatic trip (read: Ensure that princess from Satera Rhys spurned 20 years ago isn't running Landen through the ground) to Landen. I cut it because I couldn't think of an appropriate first line for Sari.

This was actually supposed to be more comedic and more "Ayn, Mieu, and Wren go on a crazy adventure to win Thea's heart, hilarity ensues." But somewhere along the line, it became more of a heart-to-heart between Ayn and Mieu, mostly because all I had for comedy was "Ayn Gets Run Over By a Landrover," "Ayn Picked the WRONG Random Encounter to Engage," and "Thank You Ayn, But Our Princess is on the Other Throne." (The source of Lyle's "Luna's gone, but she's not," which I admit swiping from Rocky Balboa. Very quotable, that movie.)

It's a nice change from writing a Phantasy Star II fic for once, and with Valentine's Day coming up, I thought the site needed a V-Day fic. (And Kaloes beat me to a PSII romance story =p)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 8, '08, 5:06 pm 
Ah, alright. I must have read over that and missed it. xD

Snorb wrote:This was actually supposed to be more comedic and more "Ayn, Mieu, and Wren go on a crazy adventure to win Thea's heart, hilarity ensues." But somewhere along the line, it became more of a heart-to-heart between Ayn and Mieu, mostly because all I had for comedy was "Ayn Gets Run Over By a Landrover," "Ayn Picked the WRONG Random Encounter to Engage," and "Thank You Ayn, But Our Princess is on the Other Throne." (The source of Lyle's "Luna's gone, but she's not," which I admit swiping from Rocky Balboa. Very quotable, that movie.)
That would've been interesting, but I do like it how it is. ^_^

Quote:It's a nice change from writing a Phantasy Star II fic for once, and with Valentine's Day coming up, I thought the site needed a V-Day fic. (And Kaloes beat me to a PSII romance story =p)
Yeah! The site could definitely use some more romantic fanfiction for the upcoming holiday (admittedly, I'm a sap for romance :p). After reading your story, I felt enocuraged to write something, m'self. Don't know if I'll finish it, though...


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 9, '08, 6:07 am 
I really enjoyed the story. Ayn and Mieu's conversation was gold. Not to mention Wren's reactions at the end... perfect! :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, '08, 10:55 pm 
I just read this story, snorb, and LOVED it! Very appropriate for Valentine's Day, and just for anytime for all of us romantics to read! :clap:

I enjoyed the romance, but also the humor, and the cameraderie between the two as they discussed issues of the heart, shared advice, etc. And, then the meeting where the Prince and the girl professed their love for each other was a very special and endearing moment.

I liked a lot of the descriptive words you used and felt they really set the scene, as in: "(Damn thorns, Ayn cursed)", talking about the roses he had picked, and also "Gently, gracefully, Thea took Ayn's gifts," and especially in the words Ayn used to describe Thea to Mieu..

I liked that the story was about, or mentioned several couples, not just one. This shows that romance and love are felt and shown by many, I think.

I thought the line that mentioned "Butch McDick", I think it is, was hilarious, lol. :rofl:

Great story and wonderful romance! I loved it all very much. :valentine: :clap:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, '08, 12:54 am 
Coincidentally, I'm playing through Ayn's generation on PS III right now. Obiviously the relationships in the story come as a lot more compelling as they do in the game. This fic also brings up an interesting question too, do you Mieu and Wren can actually taste anything?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, '08, 5:10 am 
Tsunami: Aw, now I wanna read a Valentine's Day story you wrote! =p

Shinuzzo: Hehe, PSIII handles it by pretty much saying "So... which one do you wanna marry?" at the end of the generations. Not exactly as fully fleshed out as we the fans would prefer!

The way I've always thought of them, both Mieu and Wren can smell and taste, but they have different reactions: Mieu acts like a human (commenting on how pleasing/appalling the scent is), while Wren is more machine-like (commenting on elemental makeup, toxicity, etc.). That kinda complicates the whole chocolate scene with them at the end (though I can't help but laugh at the image of Mieu folding paper to look like Spirographed roses. God I need a hobby)

Silver Surfer: Ayn describing Thea was easy- just took a look at her character picture and imagined a lovestruck teenager describing her. Other descriptions... not so easy. I'm still glad that you enjoyed the story, despite my lil' adverb problem.

Irony- Azura sets behind Thea, and she and Ayn wind up ruling Azura in Generation Three. Unintentional foreshadowing? =p

Thoul: I'm glad you liked Ayn and Mieu's chat! Kinda makes me wish my sister and I got along that well.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, '10, 2:50 pm 
I really liked the story. Heh...I wonder how Ayn would've described Thea's body had Mieu not interrupted him. The worst-case scenario bit was pretty classic, and it pretty much sets in stone why he would've chosen Thea at the end of the quest. I love these fanfics that have the characters trying to interact with Wren--comedy gold!

Two niggling details to harp on, though: The first is that it seems anachronistic for St. Valentine's Day and "Jesus!" to be said by the characters. Second, I've read somewhere that Ayn was 15 when his quest started. These of course don't harm the story, but I figured I'd mention them at least.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, '11, 10:15 pm 
Priceless dialogue! Your stories are superb because of that. The plot is very simple, but the dialogues are superb! I should have read it before, but better late than never :)


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