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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, '11, 12:57 pm 

You may use this topic to share your thoughts regarding Letter for Rolf by H-Man. When reviewing, try to go into detail about what you enjoy or feel could be improved in Letter for Rolf. Both praise and constructive criticism intended to help H-Man in future endeavors are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive comments.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Letter for Rolf. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Fringes of Algo Staff

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, '11, 6:55 pm 
This is an interesting way twist on normal prose, here. It provides an interesting thought on the end of PSII. I think the player's interpretation of what happens on the Noah afterward might indeed fall down to whether Rolf ever really come to terms with Nei's death.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, '11, 8:49 pm 
Well, nicely written H-man. And quite an interesting idea you've had with this one as well. You've Made Alis quite the motherly sort in the letter, though I suppose it's only fitting since she is Rolf's ancestor after all. :D

I'm not really so great with giving critique myself, but I think you managed to keep the letter brief enough to make it just that rather than a fiction while also being able to get everything across tot he reader.

I dunno, think I'm rambling. I'll need to come back for a proper review later.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, '11, 10:28 pm 
This is an interesting change, seeing a letter instead of a more traditionally formatted story. It's good to try something different every now and then. It's also nice to see a tangible connection established between these two characters. We're told they are related in the game, but never really shown it. This letter builds that nicely, especially from the writer's perspective.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, '11, 1:19 am 
Interesting, you wrote a spiritual writing story. It is exactly what I would expect for a letter written by Alis for Rolf: she tried to keep his spirits high by showing him that, no matter what happened, he had to keep on fighting for what was right.

It is good to see a different writing. I once had the idea of an epistolary fanfic, but then I didn't develop it. Anyway, you did a very good job writing a spiritual letter very close in tone to the real spiritual letters.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, '11, 3:27 am 
Well, that was a sweet letter! It's a very creative idea as well.

My main criticisms are that it seems a bit overly mothering of Alis and a little too focused on Nei. I suppose if Rolf really was wandering around thinking about exacting revenge over her death at this late point in the game, then the letter would make sense, though. To me, the tone of the letter should be more "you know you're up you-know-what creek, much worse than my own situation, so you know best how to do what needs to be done. I'll be there with you in spirit..." and so on.

In any event, it is interesting to wonder what Alis would think if she saw Rolf's adventure, to know that her descendant wasn't treated as royalty, but was orphaned, tried to help his planet, but was repaid by becoming a wanted criminal with a death sentence, and now was about to meet death head on. Several times.

PostPosted: Thu May 5, '11, 7:47 am 
A different and interesting slant for a story with this letter format. It works very well, imho. An interesting insight as to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of these characters. :)

PostPosted: Mon May 30, '11, 10:44 pm 
I came across this one today and didn't remember reading it before at first so I read it again. This is a really touching piece and more than that it is filled with words of encouragement for the story character but also for the one reading this story as they can possibly apply the same situation/tactics to their own life and problems at the moment...Never give up...such good advice. Glad I read it again. Sometimes we see things in the second, or even third read that we may have missed the first time or that just didn't stick with us for some reason. Great story, H-Man.

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