Page 1 of 1  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, '11, 7:04 pm 
Hello,

You may use this topic to share your thoughts regarding Insubordination by H-Man. When reviewing, try to go into detail about what you enjoy or feel could be improved in Insubordination. Both praise and constructive criticism intended to help H-Man in future endeavors are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive comments.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Insubordination. If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Fringes of Algo Staff


Top
PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, '11, 1:53 am 
You are becoming a romantic writer. Take care for not turning into a lemon writer :p Just kidding.

Nice story. Despite some minor mistakes that could be solved with proofreading, it is nice. Maybe Crys and Kara were too fast, but probably they had already some feelings they didn't confess. Anyway, it would be strange for Kara to attack Crys in hate, but as hate walks close to love, that is fine.

What a strange ritual, but I'd not mind if Maia gave me medicine this way when I get sick :p


Top
PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, '11, 2:03 am 
Interesting story. I was beginning to wonder why so much rage or insults, so to speak, was being exchanged between the parties involved but that question was answered on further reading of the story. Nice move on Crys part but he's lucky to have emerged with only a wound to his hand. A very unique and interesting way to get someone to "take their medicine" so to speak. :wink:


Top
PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, '11, 2:15 pm 
I preferred the first version, though the second version is not that different. I just think Crys should not be so apologetic to the point of making it look like it was all his fault. There is no excuse for what Kara had done, no matter what.


Top
 Page 1 of 1  [ 4 posts ] 


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


Display posts from previous:
Sort by  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to: