Reviews of Gaira

Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Gaira, the fan fiction by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Gaira. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul

After writing this, now I know why Rolf only brought Nei and two others with him- it is hard to write dialogue for seven people in the same scene!

And this part's spoilered, because Kaloes is still playing PSGen2: The Silver Bullet Necklace that Shir's hanging on to for Rolf is an item from Nei's MegaCD text adventure. It reappears in PSGen2 as an EXTREMELY hard-to-get item that lets you revive Nei after the boss fight against Neifirst.

Interesting, I wonder why Shir didn't decide to become an Agent? Potential idea for follow-up? I've always liked the Rolf and Shir as childhood friends idea. It explains why Shir doesn't get arrested following her introduction at Rolf's place.

It may be hard to do dialogue for so many, but you did an excellent job with it! I was never fully sold on the idea of Shir and Rolf as childhood friends. I have to say, this is the best display of it I have ever seen and makes me like the idea.

I know, writing for multiple dialogues is reallly difficult, because with my writing, I always put them talking back and forth with different quotes and thats it, but when theres so many, you have to sit and think of a creative way for each one to say something, instead of just putting: He said, she exclaimed, they wondered, etc.

You know, not having played this game too much, I start to wonder, how in the world does a computer that supposed to make everyones lives easier let bandits and theives run around.

It makes people too lazy to do anything about the bandits and thieves. It's kind of hard to chase people down when you're out of shape.

You did an impressive job with all those people talking at the same time. The dialogues are fun and very likely to have happened. You do a great job portraying each of the PSII characters with their own personalities without burying them under layers of clichés: Anna is cold, but not a robot, Hugh is a bit nerdy but not retarded and so on.

You developed an interesting story out of Gaira prison episode. They fight, they argue, they come up with stupid ideas, they get depressed and finally they are released. All in a natural way. The result was impressive. I admit I'd never come out with such a good fanfic from such an episodic event.

I only can say: keep them coming