You did an impressive job with all those people talking at the same time. The dialogues are fun and very likely to have happened. You do a great job portraying each of the PSII characters with their own personalities without burying them under layers of clichés: Anna is cold, but not a robot, Hugh is a bit nerdy but not retarded and so on.
You developed an interesting story out of Gaira prison episode. They fight, they argue, they come up with stupid ideas, they get depressed and finally they are released. All in a natural way. The result was impressive. I admit I'd never come out with such a good fanfic from such an episodic event.
I only can say: keep them coming
