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PostPosted: Mon Mar 7, '11, 12:18 am 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Forgotten Miracles (Miracle Warriors fanfic) by H-Man. You may use this topic to let H-Man know what you think of this work. When commenting, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Forgotten Miracles (Miracle Warriors fanfic). If you would like to discuss another writing, please do so in that writing's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 7, '11, 5:20 pm 
Aye, just finished the story. There are a few minor grammar errors strewn throughout, and I think a light coat of polish could really bring out the shine of a rather powerful plot. On the technical side, I noticed how you had partially enacted a dynamic sophistication to help illustrate how Jackson grew older. I think this wasn't completely implemented given how the said errors would occasionally offset the wording, but you pulled it off better than I'm currently able to. It's interesting how his mindset changed over the years. The plot elicited roughly 3/4ths of a tear from me in relation to my all-time record of 1 tear; others' mileage will vary.

In a nutshell: Could be polished a bit more, but it is an excellent story.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 7, '11, 7:06 pm 
Thank you! It doesn't help that my Microsoft Grammar/Spelling Check doesn't seem to be functioning correctly right now. I'll have to see what's up. All in all, I think I did alright for a story written in three hours in one evening. :) I have another story in mind, which I may get to quite soon.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 7, '11, 11:37 pm 
Just read chapter 1 of the story and so far I think it's an interesting story. I find it interesting the different ways different people see things such as what happens to us after we die, etc.. I'm looking forward to finishing the story and finding out what happens to Jackson, etc., and the rest of the story. Will read more when I have more time. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 9, '11, 9:36 pm 
Just finished reading the story. It was enjoyable to read and held my interest. It was very sad at some points, although the ending was good enough to help you forget the sad points. The premise of finding oneself being or living in a game was an excellent one, and many ideas could, and were, taken from a situation such as that one. This story leaves you thinking a lot about many things regarding video games, such as the awesome power they have over some lives.

Terrific story. :clap:


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