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 Post subject: Reviews of Accepting Fate
PostPosted: Fri Mar 5, '10, 10:49 pm 
Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Accepting Fate, the fan fiction by Lucas. You may use this topic to let Lucas know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Accepting Fate. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 8, '10, 4:30 am 
I just fixed up a few stupid word mistakes in chapter 1 and chapter 4 and threw a few commas in too. Just goes to show you have to proof read things more than once. I’m eager for some feedback. This is the first time I’ve done any fan fiction for Phantasy Star before. I’ve only ever done it for Street Fighter and a little bit of Xenosaga. Please let me know what you like or tell me if you think it’s too out there, I’m willing to improve on things too I just need to know what.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 8, '10, 6:57 am 
Sorry it's taken me so long to review your story, Lucas. I'm trying to catch up to reading all of the fanfic on this site, and it's taking me a while!

Anyway, I think you have a very fascinating story here so far. You're very good at writing description. I can easily picture your story and characters in my head, and the protagonist of your story is already well-rounded and likable. She sounds very caring, yet brave and cunning as well. I hope she can solve the mystery behind her dear friend!

Aside from a few grammatical errors (I can help if you need a proofreader) your story is fantastic. I'm looking forward to reading more!


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 9, '10, 12:29 am 
Thanks Tanith, I’m glad my descriptions appealed to you. Personally I think I tend to go overboard with describing things sometimes. :lol:

And a proofreader, thanks for the offer. I’ll keep you in mind. But I wouldn’t want to rely on you to fix up all my chapters. I look at proofreading myself as more of a chore which is why I wouldn’t want to dump it onto someone else.

Thanks for the helpful reply. :D


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, '10, 4:24 am 
I enjoyed your latest chapters, Lucas. I like how the story is developing and the addition of the new characters. Great Job!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, '10, 11:03 am 
Thanks, Tanith I’m really glad you like it. :D

Chapter 8 is now up and getting back to Elisa’s side of the story as well as bringing back a familiar foe from the original Phantasy Star game. The storyline from here will start getting deeper from now on. I also finished chapter 9 today but, I have to proof read it again and see if I want to add or take stuff out of it.

I’m still open for ideas too if anyone thinks they would like to see a character appear or get a mention to do with the classic series just let me know. Or even an enemy you’d want me to make a battle scene out of throw it my way. :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, '10, 12:08 pm 
Ten chapters done in one month :faint: . That’s not half bad if I do say so myself. Only because I’ve dedicated so much free time to writing though.

Anyway for those of you fellow Fringers who have been reading my story I just want to know if your happy with the direction it’s taken so far, please be honest with me if you think something is strange or don’t like it I do want to know.

Also I felt free to experiment with Medusa in the last few chapters she was in. Sega never really gave her much of a personality or went into great depth on her. The whole lose arm and tail regrown thing I got the idea from geckos, because if they lose an external body part they can just grow it back (only exception being the head). Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about the Rykros Gods either, if you were clever at spotting things you would see I have had a god appear in more than the second chapter. I’m also making a few references toward Alis Landale but I’m not going to tell you why…well not yet anyway. I got quite a few things planned out for future chapters trust me. :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, '10, 9:53 pm 
I haven't had a chance to catch up with the latest chapters of your story yet, Lucas, but I promise you it's high on my reading list. As soon as I'm done I'll write another review.

And yes, I was wondering when the Rykros gods would show up again. Gives me something to look forward to!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 1, '10, 3:41 am 
I've finally caught up with your story, Lucas. You did an excellent job writing the battle scene with Medusa! That was really exciting! Make sure to check for run-on sentences. I don't have an example, but I saw a couple while I was reading your latest chapters.

Anyway, I look forward to reading more; I really like the way your story is progressing!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, '10, 5:32 am 
Yet another great chapter, Lucas. A sad end to the chapter, but it definitely highlights the brutal world they're in.


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