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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 2:18 am 
I thought I'd put this up here since you can't actually comment in the fanfic section. This board will be here so that when new fanfics are added, or with the current ones they can be commented on by everyone so opinions can be spread throughout the community.. I'll start I guess..

Tsunami: Your fanfic Do you remember me? Was the first one I read on here and got me interested in wanting to write them myself. The way you showed Lena's feelings for Rhys was just terrific. I haven't read your other one yet sorry..

Thoul: Your fanfic Meeting by the Lake was also terrific, it gives people more insight on Mieu and what her feelings are, makes her kinda seem more human than Cyborg in my opinion. And like Tsunami I haven't gotten around to reading the other ones, I will eventually and they're probably good themselves..


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 4:07 am 
Wow, I didn't think that I'd inspire you to write. That's pretty cool. :mrgreen:

I'm happy that you enjoyed reading it. As for the other, seems like it's not liked as much as the first one...can't imagine why. :lol: Kidding though, maybe it's not as good as the other. *points at ratings!*

I do recommend reading Thoul's other PSIII fanfic, Moving the Pawns. Very interesting idea regarding Lune and Alair and I liked it a lot. :yes:

As for your fanfictions, I did like New Beginnings. (as stated in the other thread) I just noticed your new one, Betrayal. I'm sorry, I don't think that Maia's father would want her killed. o_O Out of character there, in my opinion, but this is fanfiction after all. So of course a change here or there doesn't hurt, as long as it's not too extreme. Overall, I think it could use some touching up. Just a bit. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 5:10 am 
thanks, i knew betrayal was a little off, i knew it wasn't gonna be as good as New Beginnings but I tried anyways with what i thought would be some kind of decency i guess. Thx for the critisism though, i don't mind being told if its good or not, i know also im not a good writer as i pointed out in the PSIV thing im workin on.. i also thought since you fight king cille on the game it be a decent idea that Maia wanted peace between Orakian and Layans but her father didnt share the same idea so he'd want to get rid of his own daughter >< its just something i thought since its all in like the castle ages and not so futuristic you'd see something like that in those kinds of situations.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 5:57 am 
I'll be honest, the betrayal aspect of Betrayal was kinda odd (then again, so was most of PSIII). However, I liked Lyle's change of heart- maybe he was having second thoughts once he saw how happy Maia was with Rhys?

I dunno- reading comprehension's rather beyond me these days. Absolutely loved New Beginnings, though I'm agreeing with majority opinion about Mieu and Wren (Why aren't they following Adan?) You're a great writer, Kaloes.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 6:11 am 
I've really enjoyed all of the fan fiction posted so far. You've both posted some great stories, and I hope you keep up the good work. :up:

The king of Cille does seem a little harsh in Betrayal, but his attitude does make sense to me. It reminded me of the anti-Orakian feelings that were shown a lot in Cille and Shousoran and of Dark Force's ability to influence people with hatred. I know the DF aspect wasn't mentioned anywhere in your story, but I just couldn't help but think of the one guy in Lashute that claims Rhys' quest was manipulated by them.

Quote:Thoul: Your fanfic Meeting by the Lake was also terrific, it gives people more insight on Mieu and what her feelings are, makes her kinda seem more human than Cyborg in my opinion.


Thanks. :) That's the impression I was trying to make with it. I first wrote this story years ago, but never posted it anywhere until recently. I was never quite happy with it before, but I revised it a lot over the past couple of months until I felt it was good enough.

I had originally planned for it to be the first part of a series where Mieu was a human who had been converted into a cyborg during the Orakio-Laya War. I'm not planning to continue it now, but the series would have looked at more of Mieu and Rhys' interplay, eventually leading up to Rhys deciding to marry her instead of Maia or Lena and maybe an alternate second generation. In this case, cyborg would have meant mostly human with a few metal parts, obviously.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, '07, 11:46 pm 
i see, hmm an alternate 2nd generation.. that would be pretty sweet, and the whole thing on my first fanfic New Beginnings about the whole wren and mieu thing... its just to what you want to believe why they didn't follow him..


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, '07, 3:20 am 
An alternate Second Generation involving Rhys and Mieu's son would be quite interesting! (Incidentally, we don't know what all of Mieu's functions are, but it is said in one of the designer's extra comics that she can nurse babies.)


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, '07, 9:28 am 
man i've been in a writing mood this week ^_^|' ended up doing another one yesterday, Its a little better than betrayal, not as good as New Beginnings though.. i don't think i'll be able to top that one... well I hope you guys like my newest fanfic Should I Exist.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, '07, 10:30 am 
The new one was very interesting. However, I was surprised when I didn't see Alair in there... :?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, '07, 9:17 pm 
yea i wanted to put alair in there but i couldn't find any place for her, i was kinda having writers block when it came to alair so lets just say she's roaming around somewhere off screen lol

I liked your new one Tsunami, I wanted to write something about that Kara as well but I know so little of the Kara in the Sean/Crys path so it's easier to work with the characters you know right... still good, it showed alot of character for Kara, much like the game intended for her to have but could never add it.. great job


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