Page 1 of 1  [ 1 post ] 
User avatar
PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, '11, 2:27 pm
I was translating this fanfic for a Brazilian PS site and I realized how bad it was concerning grammar and style, so I opted to update it. It is basically the same, but there are some updates to make it flow better. If someone re-read it, let me know if it looks better than before, so it may encourage me to update my older stories.

The old man was seated on a park bench, quietly looking the passersby. The sun was shining brightly, there were people walking and jogging all around, couples resting embraced under the shades of the trees, children playing, Rappies eating the popcorn that has fallen on the cobblestones. However, the old man was not interested in anything. He was just passing the time.

Another old man passed in front of the bench, walking slowly. He stopped suddenly, turned back to face the old man who was seated on the bench and spent some time trying to recognize some familiar features in the wrinkled face of the other man. The seated man found it strange that the unknown old man was staring at him, so he stared back with an inquisitive gaze. Having a better view of the familiar face, the standing old man started to remember those familiar features, especially the eyes, and risked guessing who the man was. “Rolf?”

“It is me!” The seated man replied a bit startled, since he didn’t recognize the bald and white-bearded man in front of him.

“Don'cha recognize me?” The bearded man pretended to be angry, in a playful way.

“Oh, Josh?” After an initial surprise, his inquisitive countenance gave room to a smile. “How did you recognize me? I'd never recognize you.”

“Well, it mus' be da orderly haircuta. It is da same from 50 years ago. The only diff'rence is that your hair's whita nowz.”

Rolf shrugged. “Well, so I was at a disadvantage. Where is your hair, man?”

Kain instinctively rubbed the top of his head. “It is gon from my heada, but my brain z still inside.”

“Haha, I see. Come, sit here, old friend!” Rolf patted the bench. “It has been such a long time, how are the things going?”

“Hmmm... Fine, as long as it'z possib'. You know, at this age...” Kain said so with that resigned calm of the old people.

“I know it very well. There is always a pain here, something not working properly there...” Rolf put his hand on Kain’s shoulder. “I'm glad to see you are well. After that great collapse, I really lost the contact with you all.”

“Me too, that event'a 'as terrible. I had lotta work fixing some machinezz, wrecking the otherz. Now the da's of work ar' gona. But I miss those tima when da climatrola managed da weath'a. Nowadays it is so damn hotta.” Kain stretched the collar of his shirt. He was sweating.

“You can say that again! I'm currently using sun lotion with spf 120! My doctor has recommended 200, but I think that is exaggerating.”

“Oh yeah, that' sz too much. I'v a whiter skin than ya, Rolf, and I use 150. By da way, is yer doctor still that girl...? Amy?”

Rolf hesitated a bit. Only then, he realized how little he thought about his old companions recently. “Oh, no, she moved a long, long time ago. I've never seen her since.”

“Neither have I. By da way, you'ra the only guy of our groupa I've talk't to sinsa AW1290. Itiz'a pity we have lost ze contact.”

“Well, it really is, but that was expected. As brothers in arms, we were the greatest friends during the war, but after the war is gone, every man and woman returns to their former lives, as if nothing has happened.”

“Oh yea’, but ye had more than friendzz backa 'en. Remember that green haired pretta girl? She was in luva with ye, wasn't she?” Kain winked at his longtime friend, with a grin on his face.

“Shir? Oh, that young rascal!” Rolf laughed briefly and then rested his hands on his thighs, staring blankly, trying to recover long lost memories. “She was in love with me, but you knew her, she was too fickle to take for serious. I hope she has settled down because she wasn't easy business!”

“Haha, that is true, that is true, Rolf.” Kain laughed and patted Rolf’s shoulder. “But our Don Juan hada'other girl into him, didn't he? I thought ye wer' married with Anna. What a-happen?”

“Oh, Anna…” Rolf stared blankly again, but this time the memories were more vivid in his mind. His face betrayed he had much fonder memories of Anna, which still sparked his feelings. “She was a big deal, for sure, but I think I just blew it up. I was so busy when I returned from our fight against the Earthmen that I did not give her the proper attention she longed for. Maybe things could have been different, but I couldn't think of a relationship at the times of the Great Collapse. I was also too young... She was a very good person.”

“And very hotta, too. Too hotta, by da way. Once I've seen her, many years ago, and she 'as still hotta. I'd bet with ya that she iz'till good-looking nowada's, even at her seventies. Yu'v lost a good un...”

“For sure, I did.” Rolf sighed. Memories of Anna had a deep impact on him. If there was something he regretted in his life, it was letting Anna’s affection slip away. He stayed in silence for a while because the memories of old days brought back memories that had an even deeper impact on his feelings. “But the thing I really regret losing was Nei.”

“Ah, Nei...” The name worked like a spell on Kain, who immediately lost his cheerful mood.

“Yes, Josh, she was with me for less than a year, but I can't stop thinking of her. I'm afraid I'm already forgetting how she was...”


“I looked through my stuff and realized that I had I had never taken a picture from her. It is so sad, I never wanted her gone, she was so special...”

“Yeah...” Kain’s voice was reduced to a faint mumble, charged with emotion.

“She was so special and there is no record of her existence... When I'm gone, her memories will be gone forever.” Rolf was somewhat absorbed in his own thoughts and feelings.

“Ye...ah…” Kain’s eyes were wet. Besides the impact of his own memories of Nei on his feelings, Rolf implying he was the only one who cared for the Numan girl hurt Kain.

“Well, it doesn't matter. My beloved sister, she is gone forever from this universe, but she will always be imprinted in my mind and in my heart...”

Rolf turned his head to look at his friend, but he was not seated on the bench anymore. He hadn't noticed Kain had stood up and started to leave.

“In mine too...” Kain said with a weak voice, without turning back.

“What?” Rolf was surprised by both Kain’s reaction and answer.

“In mine too!” Kain shouted with his voice drenched with emotion. “Farewell, Rolf!”

Kain walked away, not being able to hide the tears in his eyes. Rolf stood in the park bench puzzled and saddened. He has never suspected the deep feelings of his old friend towards his sister. And he hoped Kain could someday forgive his lack of empathy in the past.

Last edited by tilinelson2 on Fri Jun 10, '11, 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Page 1 of 1  [ 1 post ] 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

Display posts from previous:
Sort by  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to: