It was pretty good, possibly one of the better PSIII fanfics that I've read. I caught a typo here and there, and some grammar that could be touched up, but otherwise it's fine.
The only thing that really bugs me is that you spelled Gwyn's name as Gwen. Not sure if that was intentional or not.
In my opinion, this sounds like a very good start (and interesting idea) for a possible sequal.
Though for some reason I was expecting Mieu and Wren to go with Adan in the end.