Jokes - Know any good ones?

I read a really lame Starcraft joke once:

An ultralisk walks in with a kitten on one tusk and a piece of asphalt on the other, and the bartender asks, "What happened to you?" And the ultralisk says "Aaaaarrrrarararahhhhhhhghggggggaagaaagagggagaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaagggggghaghhhhhhhhaggggggggggggagagaghhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaa!" Because ultralisks can't talk you see.

But it still makes me laugh.

I saw this on another forum - so I thought I'd share it:
A woman goes to a lake early in the morning. She unpacks a boat, fishing tools, and a book. She climbs into the boat with the rest. Then she rows out on the lake a distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

XD Thats good. lol Least he was smart enough to leave her alone.

Watching Mary Poppins reminded me of something funny..."I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith" "Really? Whats the name of his other leg?" It reminded me of a book entitled "A panda eats shoots and leaves" XD Competely having to do with getting puctuation in the right places. "A panda walks into a library, eats a sandwich, then shoots two arrows, as hes walking out the librarian asks, "Why did you do that?" As the panda hands him a book he replies, "It says thats what we do."

PANDA
Black and white bear
Diet: Eats, shoots, and leaves.

XDDDDD

Wow... Thoul, that's terribly funny. xD

Great one Sparky!

LOL, Thoul and Sparky, those were very funny jokes!

I thought the beginning was funny, she unpacks a boat? It must be like the vehicles in PS. XD

Thoul wrote:

I saw this on another forum - so I thought I'd share it:
A woman goes to a lake early in the morning. She unpacks a boat, fishing tools, and a book. She climbs into the boat with the rest. Then she rows out on the lake a distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Funny Joke and good moral in the end. Kind of sexist in a way, but I'll let it slide this time.

Okay, I know this is corny, but I love it anyways~!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 8 9!

That's a great one, Tsunami!