Jokes - Know any good ones?

General discussion of subjects beyond the scope of the other forums.

Postby SparkyIII » Tue Nov 13, '07, 1:31 am

Heik I don't get the first one. lol
Everything has a pattern. Something set. Even random things. They aren't random at all, its complex mathematics. The trick is to find the pattern. Then you can exploit it.

People think things have a certain end. Taxes. Work. Due dates don't really exist. Trust me. When you put a band of world scholars in the same room, and set them on talking about anything, the most interesting topics come up. The existence of negative time. The probability of "random occurrence". The government's involvement in the media. And falsified due dates. They aren't real, trust me....
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Postby Silver_Surfer1 » Tue Nov 13, '07, 4:53 am

Here's one:

A girl was talking to her sister about one of her girlfriends who had been married four times. The girlfriend's first husband was a billionaire, second husband was an actor, third husband was a reverend, and the fourth husband was an undertaker. She had one - for the money, two - for the show, three - to get ready, and four - to go! :D
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Postby SparkyIII » Tue Nov 13, '07, 5:02 am

*dies of laughter* Nice.
Everything has a pattern. Something set. Even random things. They aren't random at all, its complex mathematics. The trick is to find the pattern. Then you can exploit it.

People think things have a certain end. Taxes. Work. Due dates don't really exist. Trust me. When you put a band of world scholars in the same room, and set them on talking about anything, the most interesting topics come up. The existence of negative time. The probability of "random occurrence". The government's involvement in the media. And falsified due dates. They aren't real, trust me....
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Postby SparkyIII » Tue Nov 13, '07, 6:12 am

For those of you who haven't read the Conversations within Elsydeon...
Rune- Hey shorty, let me drive the Ice Digger.
Chaz- No.
Rune- Come on.
Chaz- No. AAAAHH!! I just hit a Dezo Penguin!!
Rune- Hey Rika!! Shorty here just murdered a Dezo Penguin!!
Rika- CHAAAZZZ?!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!
Chaz- AH! Rika stop shouting in my ears!! AAAHH!! I KILLED ANOTHER ONE!!
Rika- IHATEYOUHATEYOUHATEYOU!!!
Wren- SHUT UP!!!
[everyone shouts at each other.]
Chaos within the Ice Digger (by Mathieus)

For more undieing laughter:
http://www.phantasy-star.net/cwe/conversations1.html
Everything has a pattern. Something set. Even random things. They aren't random at all, its complex mathematics. The trick is to find the pattern. Then you can exploit it.

People think things have a certain end. Taxes. Work. Due dates don't really exist. Trust me. When you put a band of world scholars in the same room, and set them on talking about anything, the most interesting topics come up. The existence of negative time. The probability of "random occurrence". The government's involvement in the media. And falsified due dates. They aren't real, trust me....
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Postby Tsunami » Tue Nov 13, '07, 7:58 am

Secret Surfer, that's a great joke! :lol:
--

A man is jumping on the lid of a manhole repeating "26, 26, 26..." over and over again. A pollock walks up and asks the man what he's doing.

"Why, I'm jumping and saying 26," the man replies. "Want to give it a try?"

The pollock nods, then steps onto the manhole and says "26, 26, 26," as he jumps in place. "Hey, this is pretty fun!" the pollock says. The man then removes the lid from the manhole and tells the pollock to keep jumping. The pollock does so and jumps right in, saying "26" as he falls.

The man slides the lid back in place and begins jumping on the manhole again, saying "27, 27, 27..."
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Postby Silver_Surfer1 » Tue Nov 13, '07, 6:29 pm

Tsunami wrote:Secret Surfer, that's a great joke! :lol:
--



Thanks, Tsunami! I like your joke too. Can't get 26,26,26 out of my head now, lol! :rofl:
Good Friday ~ March 29, 2024


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:rose: Happy 26th Anniversary Fringes Of Algo~Founded April 01, 1997 :rose:

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Postby Silver_Surfer1 » Thu Nov 15, '07, 7:48 pm

Here's one:

A man went to the barber shop where he was getting a shave and a manicure. The girl giving him the manicure was very lovely, so the man asked her for a date. She told him she was married. The man told her to make up a lie to tell her husband. The girl told the man to tell the husband himself because her husband was the barber who was right then giving him the shave. :boggled:
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Postby Neithird » Thu Nov 15, '07, 8:09 pm

Oooo, I bet that guy learned the bad meaning of "take a little off the top!" :lol:
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Postby Tsunami » Thu Nov 15, '07, 11:44 pm

A horse went to a bar and had a seat. The bartender who was working there looked at him and asked, "Why the long face?"
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Postby Thoul » Fri Nov 16, '07, 2:50 am

:lol: The horse joke always makes me laugh, no matter how many variations of it I hear!
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