Reviews of Alone in the World (Chapter One)

Administrator Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3308

Hello,

This topic is for reviews of Alone in the World (Chapter One), the fan fiction by Kaloes. You may use this topic to let Kaloes know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.

Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Alone in the World (Chapter One). If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.

Thanks,
Thoul

Administrator Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3308

Wow, what a great beginning! The cliffhanger has really peaked my interest. I definitely want to see more of this. Is this Alys reincarnated? Was her mother in the house? Such burning questions (pardon the pun

) must be answered!

Sage Joined: Mar 24, '07 Posts: 1070

Ooo, a mysterious figure appears! I wonder if it's an Esper? It will be fun to find out! Great work so far, Kaloes!

Sage Joined: Mar 24, '07 Posts: 1070

I wonder if Ray's family will find Alys. And Rune is looking for someone that looks just like him? I wonder who that could be?

Posted: Thu Nov 8, '07, 2:06 pm

Neithird wrote:

And Rune is looking for someone that looks just like him? I wonder who that could be?

lol

Sage Joined: Mar 24, '07 Posts: 1070

So, some answers in this newest chapter! Things are beginning to get really interesting now. It looks like this could lead into being a prequel to Phantasy Star 4, with Rune taking Alys to Motavia later in the story. This is a very original idea for exploring life on the Neo Palm - I really like where this is going!

Administrator Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3308

That shopkeeper must be loaded after charging prices like that! No one people were wanting money from her. Nice scene with the training and I liked the way you worked in grand cross.

Excellent as always Kaloes - keep them coming, please!

Posted: Mon Nov 19, '07, 1:29 am

so whats everyone thinking so far?

Administrator Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3308

I've been enjoying it. So far every chapter has been a solid, entertaining read.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, '07, 12:17 pm

sorry for the major halt guys, creativity takes time =P i actually get bits and pieces of this while im working during the day so it takes me awhile to actually get this done right *so i'll have minor word misses and sentence messups* so i should have something by friday