Reviews of Into the Ocean

UFO! Sage Joined: May 3, '07 Posts: 1425

Well, I wanted to work on building a little more character development before getting into the 'fun' part... (and yes, I like adding humor when I can

)

I know when it comes to writing that describing the setting's something that I really need to work on. I think my main problem is, I tend to place my focus elsewhere, i.e. the characters.

Guardian Joined: Jun 15, '07 Posts: 229

I've always liked Rolf/Shir even though there certainly would be some difficulty in them hooking up.

Esper Elder Joined: Jun 8, '07 Posts: 990

Shinuzzo wrote:

I've always liked Rolf/Shir even though there certainly would be some difficulty in them hooking up.

Me too, and ditto on the difficulty to a degree: law/lawnessness. But it turns out MB was another name for dictatorship and the justice of the state wasn't just. It's still wrong to steal from shops, but from a justice perspective, Shir doesn't recognize MB's idea of justice, nor does Rolf after a while. If she'd give up the stealing bit and simply rejected the government, they'd have a lot in common! :wink:

"Impossible is just a word people use to make themselves feel better when they quit." Vyse, Skies of Arcadia Legends.

Guardian Joined: Jun 15, '07 Posts: 229

Yeah, but the problem is that Shir steals from everywhere, it's just represented by shops in-game. I have my doubts she could give it up even if she wanted to. Plus it's a bit telling that every tech (except Nagra) that Shir learns, Rolf also uses.

UFO! Sage Joined: May 3, '07 Posts: 1425

Shinuzzo wrote:

I've always liked Rolf/Shir even though there certainly would be some difficulty in them hooking up.

I read somewhere that Rolf and Anna were close...but I prefer Shir/Rolf, myself.

I decided to try something else...so I'll be a little slow on posting the next part (that, and I've been under the weather lately). My apologies to any readers who're following this.

EDIT: Added details and a little bit more to part 2.

Esper Elder Joined: Jun 8, '07 Posts: 990

Shinuzzo wrote:

Yeah, but the problem is that Shir steals from everywhere, it's just represented by shops in-game. I have my doubts she could give it up even if she wanted to.

Most definitely. It'd be a huge break from her previous behavior. :lookaround:

Tsunami wrote:

decided to try something else...so I'll be a little slow on posting the next part (that, and I've been under the weather lately). My apologies to any readers who're following this.

Don't apologize, it's your work that you're being good enough to share with us! I'll look forward to your next installment!

"Impossible is just a word people use to make themselves feel better when they quit." Vyse, Skies of Arcadia Legends.

Cyborg Joined: Sep 30, '07 Posts: 396

Huh?

What is a Fan Fic story doing up here in the discussion forum instead of in the Fan Fic section with all the other Fan Fic stories?????? :nosy:

I almost missed this story because it wasn't in the Fan Fic section, and that would have been a shame, as it seems like a very interesting story. :reading:

UFO! Sage Joined: May 3, '07 Posts: 1425

Rudo wrote:

What is a Fan Fic story doing up here in the discussion forum instead of in the Fan Fic section with all the other Fan Fic stories?????? :nosy:

I decided to stick it here since it has multiple parts to it and I wanted some feedback. Didn't think that anyone would mind.

Explorer Joined: Oct 5, '07 Posts: 83

Nice story. I need to catch up on it from the beginning though. :clap:

Posted: Tue Oct 30, '07, 12:32 pm

I read this story the other day and forgot to comment on it. I found it to be very interesting and the characters very lively. I'd like to read more. :clap:

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