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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Post subject: Reviews of Phantasy Star Alternate
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, '08, 3:23 pm |
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Hello,
This topic is for reviews of Phantasy Star Alternate, the fan fiction by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.
Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Phantasy Star Alternate. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.
Thanks,
Thoul
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, '08, 5:42 pm |
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Very good story! You've found a way to put an entirely new spin on that battle. That was a great hook at the end - I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next.
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, '08, 2:20 am |
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Another great chapter! I loved the bit with the family at the table. I didn't quite get the point of Lashiec's first conversation with Alisa, given he had just been tweaking her memories. I thought, why would he not just rearrange her memories to make her see her friends as enemies? But in retrospect, I like the approach you used to that scene a lot. It's much more subtle and devious on Lashiec's part.
I'm really looking forward to future installments of this! Thanks for posting it.
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Mystic - Silver Tusk Motavian
Joined: Mar 27, '07 Posts: 3026
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Posted: Wed Jul 2, '08, 11:47 am |
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Just finished reading this segment, and wow, it was fantastic! Great writing job.
I can't wait to see these folks reunite and kick his uknowwhat to the curb!
~ We wish you a Merry Christmas ~
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Tue Jul 8, '08, 12:25 am |
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This chapter seems a little slower, but it's just as great as the others. The scenes with Myau and fish, Rainy and Lutz, and Lutz's dream were great. And Alisa is becoming a really mean villain! I can't wait to see how that gets resolved, though I hope there are plenty of chapters before that.
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Guardian
Joined: Jul 10, '07 Posts: 249
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, '08, 1:37 am |
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Thanks for the reviews so far, guys- I'm glad you're liking this little bizarre take on Phantasy Star I.
Alisa was always in the party from the beginning, so I thought, "Hmm, why not take her out of the party for a while?" And the game stresses the importance of Damoa's crystal, so, hey, they don't get it, LaShiec whomps the party, Alisa leaves party for a while.
This week's chapter might be a bit late- working, and D&D/assorted nerdistry. Sorry, guys. =( Shooting for late Friday/mid-afternoon Saturday, though!
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere, there's danger. Somewhere, there's injustice. Somewhere else, the tea's getting too cold. Come on, Ace- we've got work to do!"
~The Seventh Doctor
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, '08, 10:57 pm |
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Another great installment. Wow, Alisa's really getting in deep. If she ever recovers, she's not going to be a happy camper, to put it mildly. I look forward to seeing how things go with the Governor next time, especially since in the normal timeline he'd be possessed by this point.
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Sat Jul 26, '08, 7:31 am |
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Nice.  It didn't occur to me before, but you're using the Generation 1 spells aren't you? That bit right at the end made it click for me. That's a great touch. Also great characterization on Doctor Mad. He's really living up to his name here!
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Guardian
Joined: Jul 10, '07 Posts: 249
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Posted: Sat Jul 26, '08, 3:01 pm |
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Glad you're enjoying the story, Thoul! 
Yeah, I'm using the Gen1 names, for the most part- character/town/planet names, spell names/effects and the Collabo System, though the way Lutz and Myau used it, I thought it was more PSIV's Combination Attack system. *shrug* O well.
Doctor Mad's gonna be even more crazy and psychotic, I promise you. And Alisa and LaShiec are gonna be more jerkass, "We own Algo and you damn well know it" in the future. All the more reason for Tairon, Lutz, and Myau to save Alisa and kill LaShiec!
In case anyone was interested, there's a picture of Alisa's dress here: http://img179.imageshack.us/my.php?image=evildressjg1.jpg. I'd draw her wearing it, but I can't draw
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere, there's danger. Somewhere, there's injustice. Somewhere else, the tea's getting too cold. Come on, Ace- we've got work to do!"
~The Seventh Doctor
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07 Posts: 3935
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Posted: Sat Jul 26, '08, 7:33 pm |
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Yeah, it looks much more like the PSIV combos here (and that's what it should have been in G1, really). I just didn't pick up on the Gi spell names connection until I read the Collabo part.
Nice pic of the dress. That really helps with visualizing her. It looks like a perfect fit for this story, too.
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