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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07
Posts: 3089
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Post subject: Reviews of Gaira
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 Posted: Sun Jan 20, '08, 2:46 am |
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Hello,
This topic is for reviews of Gaira, the fan fiction by Snorb. You may use this topic to let Snorb know what you think of this story. When commenting on the story, try to go into detail about what you enjoyed or thought could be improved. Both praise and constructive criticism are encouraged. Please refrain from making non-constructive criticisms.
Please keep your comments in this thread on the subject of Gaira. If you would like to discuss another story, please do so in that story's review thread.
Thanks,
Thoul
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Agent
Joined: Jul 10, '07
Posts: 160
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, '08, 2:48 am |
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After writing this, now I know why Rolf only brought Nei and two others with him- it is hard to write dialogue for seven people in the same scene!
And this part's spoilered, because Kaloes is still playing PSGen2: The Silver Bullet Necklace that Shir's hanging on to for Rolf is an item from Nei's MegaCD text adventure. It reappears in PSGen2 as an EXTREMELY hard-to-get item that lets you revive Nei after the boss fight against Neifirst.
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere, there's danger. Somewhere, there's injustice. Somewhere else, the tea's getting too cold. Come on, Ace- we've got work to do!"
~The Seventh Doctor
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Agent
Joined: Jun 15, '07
Posts: 190
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, '08, 6:17 am |
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Interesting, I wonder why Shir didn't decide to become an Agent? Potential idea for follow-up? I've always liked the Rolf and Shir as childhood friends idea. It explains why Shir doesn't get arrested following her introduction at Rolf's place.
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Administrator
Joined: Mar 23, '07
Posts: 3089
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, '08, 1:50 pm |
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It may be hard to do dialogue for so many, but you did an excellent job with it! I was never fully sold on the idea of Shir and Rolf as childhood friends. I have to say, this is the best display of it I have ever seen and makes me like the idea.
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Gaze unto me and writhe, fools Sage
Joined: Nov 1, '07
Posts: 1362
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, '08, 3:25 am |
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I know, writing for multiple dialogues is reallly difficult, because with my writing, I always put them talking back and forth with different quotes and thats it, but when theres so many, you have to sit and think of a creative way for each one to say something, instead of just putting: He said, she exclaimed, they wondered, etc.
You know, not having played this game too much, I start to wonder, how in the world does a computer that supposed to make everyones lives easier let bandits and theives run around.
You represent... apathy.You don't really show any emotion. You can be considered cruel and cold, but you just don't really care about anything. This is just the way you are... you're quite a challenge to get close to, and others may perceive you as boring.
Zeus was the Greek excuse for having no logical explination for lightning. Hades was for the death that baffled them. Posiedon tore apart at their shores. So Athena must have explained the people who didn't believe in the gods. |
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Agent
Joined: Jun 15, '07
Posts: 190
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, '08, 4:41 pm |
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It makes people too lazy to do anything about the bandits and thieves. It's kind of hard to chase people down when you're out of shape.
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